Check out this K-Pop Band I Made Up.

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(written November 16, 2023)

Hi, we're the new K-pop group QZJXK.  Our name means “to reach for the highest possible goal,” because the letters in our name are the highest scoring letters in the game Scrabble. 

You can contact us at any time, namely because we currently have 472 band members, any one of whom will be awake at any given time to answer your call.  However, only about seven of us will be available at the debut because 256 members are suing the label, and some of the boy members were caught making eye contact with girls, so out of respect for our fans, we don't speak their names anymore. 

Anyway, our twelve music videos, ranging from bubblegum pop to death metal, will give you an idea of our range.  In keeping with K-pop industry standards, we have several videos for each song, from official videos to performance videos to videos we filmed on our smartphones.  Please forgive us for the smartphone video for the song “Bomb this Disco” in which our rapper Wordzzz accidentally set his hair on fire, and none of us noticed because the label makes us dye our hair different colors and his was already bright orange.  Rest assured, he should be out of intensive care in time for our debut.

We cannot wait to perform our songs in front of our fans, but before we do, we want to issue an apology for having a band name that makes it impossible for these fans to come up with a fan club name.  We know that our fans, like K-pop fans everywhere, will be calm and rational when choosing a club name and will not resort to threatening each other on Instagram, doxxing each other, and accusing each other, including our Korean fans, of racism.  Wait… we’re being told that’s exactly what they’re doing.  OK, we’ll deal with that in our Weverse videos.

Speaking of Weverse, we plan on having the most popular videos on the platform.  Sure, you can watch hours of footage of BTS typing on computers and done homework, but our videos will include members clipping our toenails, staring at our phones, flossing our teeth, and standing in line at the grocery store.  We don’t know why stuff like this is so popular, but sure.  Whatever our fans want. 

Hope to hear from you soon!

We are … QZJXK!

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