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(Written October 27, 2024)
We’re nearing the home stretch, K-pop fans! Time for a ranking episode, which is my
second favorite, right behind performance episodes. Let’s do this!
Namgoon Min gets us up to
speed. While the global audience has
been voting, the I-Landers have already been told about
the third test and have been rehearsing for it.
Not this again. That means our
teams will be halfway through their rehearsals when the 11th-ranked finalist gets
eliminated, and their team will have to start over. I hate when survival shows do this.
We go back to where we left
off, right after the Chemistry Test and the announcement of Jake getting the
double votes. The announcer says the
midpoint results of the global voting will be revealed. Why?
This doesn’t even count. Well, I
guess it does, because the banners on the wall go blank again. Time for rankings just for the sake of
rankings. Okay, let’s get these over
with.
We’re starting with Number
One. I’ll just do the chart again,
highlighting the future Enhypen members:
Are the global viewers
watching the same show I am? What the
actual fuck? None of this makes
sense. And seeing Jay dropped to the
bottom after such a strong showing this week … is it because he’s also
American? I mean, Daniel didn’t rank
high either. I really, really hate this.
Our I-Landers move their name
plates to their new chairs, so I guess this is official for now. I know Jay will make it to the final group,
but right now, I’m so pissed. How in the
world did Ta-Ki jump to fourth place?
They had to stop the ranking announcement for a full minute while all
the I-Landers reacted in shock and hugged him.
I know they’re as confused as I am.
The new Top 7 group puts on
their badges, and I refuse to believe I’m looking at Ta-Ki wearing a badge.
Now to reveal the third test,
which is called the Concept Test. One
team will have the concept of “Refreshing,” and the other will have
“Explosion.” This probably means we’ll be
getting a pretty boy idol song and a beast idol song.
The two teams will only have
five people each, even though we still have eleven finalists. They’re letting the finalists know that
someone will be eliminated before the next test.
Now the finalists will get a
mini-mission, and they’re told the purpose of the mission will be to decide the
teams for the Concept Test. I don’t do a
lot of foreshadowing in these recaps, but I want you to remember this
part. This mini-mission, we are being
told, is to decide which teams will be doing which song for the Concept
Test. Got it? Good.
Now the screens light up to reveal a video message from the group
Seventeen. Well, four members of
Seventeen.
I love what happens
next. Our finalists look surprised, but
they’re not losing their minds the way they did over
BTS. The actual text on the actual
screen, which the actual network put there,
actually says, “automatically polite.”
Poor Seventeen. No group should have to
follow BTS.
I do like a couple of
Seventeen songs, but the only member I recognize is Dino, because I love his solo hit,
“Wait.” I also know that they have
insanely difficult choreography in their
videos. These four tell our
automatically polite finalists that this mini-mission will be
using their songs “Pretty U” and “Hit.”
I’m not familiar with these two songs. They tell us “Pretty U” is a refreshing song,
so that means cute and sugary sweet, and I’m not
going to like it. “Hit,” on the other
hand, is described as a powerful, energetic song,
which is more my speed.
Seventeen wishes them luck
and adds, “We’ll be visiting you in twenty-four hours!” The look on Ni-Ki’s face clearly says, “Great.
BTS leaves before we can say hi, but SEVENTEEN, we get to meet. Yay.”
Seventeen also says they’re
going to reveal which I-Landers will be in which group. Why do they get to decide? Have they been watching the show? And if they’re just here to determine the
groups for the Concept Test, how is this a mini-mission?
I am so confused.
We then get to see how
Seventeen has set up the groups. Team
Pretty U is Sunoo, Ta-Ki, Sunghoon, Jungwon,
Daniel, and Jake. Team Hit is Heeseung,
K, Jay, Hanbin, and Ni-Ki.
Ta-Ki is definitely in the
right group, but his teammates Sunghoon and Jake hate the idea of doing the
cutesy, refreshing “Pretty U.” These
poor guys are in hell. Sunghoon is singing
the song through gritted teeth, which is hilarious.
Team Hit is worried about the
choreo, which goes incredibly fast. We
saw contestants on Boys Planet having trouble keeping up with the choreo
on a Seventeen song. But the four group
members will be here in 24 hours to check on their progress, so our finalists
hang in there and practice.
Now, it’s time for Seventeen
to arrive. We watch them walk along the
woodsy path to our air-lock of a building, and the show tells us their
names. Along with Dino, we’ve got Jun,
Hoshi, and … The8. It looks like a typo,
but I Googled it, and that’s his name.
Is it pronounced “The Eight” or “THATE,” since it’s all one word? Because
this is K-pop, either way is entirely possible.
If it is “THATE,” does that mean something in Korean?
I found their fan subreddit,
which explained that this group member is Chinese, and eight is a lucky number
in China. So it’s pronounced “The
Eight.” Got it. Moving on.
They walk through the gate to
the I-Land and surprise our finalists, who didn’t expect them just to show up
with no announcement. Everyone
introduces themselves, and now it’s time to show Seventeen their progress so
far, in preparation for the Concept Test.
Team Hit is up first.
This episode is moving so fast.
We haven’t spent much time with either team yet, so I have no idea what
to expect. They do an incredible
job. I can’t believe they learned the
difficult choreo in less than a day.
Seventeen is impressed,
especially with Ni-Ki. They have no
notes for Team Hit. Next up is “Pretty
U,” and I’m dreading this.
Team Pretty U does the song
perfectly, even though Sunghoon still looks like he’d rather be getting hit by a train
than doing this. Ta-Ki, however, is
having the time of his life, and the Seventeen guys love him.
Now that that’s over,
Seventeen plays a dance game with the finalists that I don’t really follow, and
then we get a great moment when Jun dances to “Hit” with Jay. I love that Jay gets to shine like this,
rebuilding his confidence after the crushing blow of yesterday’s rankings.
Finally, Seventeen announces
the winner of the mini-mission. It’s
Team Pretty U. Now, Seventeen will pick
the first place winner from that team, and
that person will be able to pick the test song and team members for the Concept
Test, and this is what I was referencing earlier. I am confused because I thought these WERE
the songs and teams for the Concept Test.
But no. Our finalists just lost a
day of rehearsal time to learn choreo they won’t need for the actual test. If I were any of these I-Landers, I’d be really
annoyed.
Anyway, Sunoo is picked as
the first place winner. Seventeen wishes
everyone luck and leaves. I’m not sure
what the point of that visit was. And I
just remembered something from my earlier K-pop essays – Seventeen doesn’t even
have seventeen members. They have
thirteen members, which is an unlucky number.
Does The8 know? Is the good luck
of his name counteracting the bad luck of the thirteen members? What happens to the band if he changes his
name? Let’s move on and put this visit
behind us.
We cut to that night, and the
announcer voice tells everyone to report to the living room. The screen on the wall lights up, and our
good friend Namgoong Min appears. He
says the show has something special for them tonight. They all have to go outside.
I’m stunned. They’re actually going outside? Are we sure they can adjust to the new
atmosphere? Shouldn’t they go through
some kind of NASA-level training first?
Jay actually says, and I’m quoting, “Guys I’m saying this all the time,
but these things aren’t necessarily good.”
Everyone runs to change
clothes, even though they have no idea where they’re going. Then they venture out into the night and find
benches set up in front of the building, where video images are being
projected. What happens next is really
sweet. They get to see video messages
from global viewers from over 173 countries.
I got misty-eyed when they did this on Boys Planet, and now I
need the Kleenex again.
I may be getting cynical
about the whole K-pop industry, but I still have a special place in my heart
for the devoted fans. And I love the
fans who have special messages for Jay, telling him not to give up.
When the finalists go back
inside, they find spiral-bound books on their beds with their names on
them. They’re filled with fan
letters. Another sweet gesture on the
part of the showrunners. This is a very
heartfelt and emotional segment, so I’m relieved when it’s over and the
announcer tells them to report to the lobby to learn about the Concept
Test. The ACTUAL Concept Test.
The refreshing song is called
“Chamber 5 (Dream of Dreams).” The
choreo opens with the dancers lying on the floor under blankets. They start the song by waking up and
stretching. They use the blankets and
pillows as props for the rest of the song.
The explosion concept song is called “Flame On.” No props, but strong, aggressive moves. The song sounds like “Echo,” by The Boyz, a
song I love.
The announcer tells them that
during rehearsals, one team will have six finalists, and the other will have
five. But by the final performance,
someone will be eliminated. Now I’m
wondering – if the eliminated finalist is on the team of five, does someone
from the other team have to switch and learn a whole new song? Why do these shows keep doing this?
The judges will be making the
decisions on this test, not the global fans.
I feel a little better about this.
The fans are the ones who ranked Jay at the bottom. He tends to fare better with the judges.
Top-ranked Sunoo chooses the
“Chamber 5” song, and his teammates are Jake, Jungwon, Heeseung, and
Ta-Ki. That means Team Flame On will be
Hanbin, Ni-Ki, Daniel, K, Sunghoon, and Jay.
They have five days until the test, but someone will be eliminated
during that time, and at least one team might have to start over.
Team Chamber 5 is doing the
cute pretty boy song, so they’re trying to make their smiles convincing. They spend several minutes working on
“refreshing” facial expressions, and it’s just kind of creepy. Poor Jake is having the worst time of
it. I don’t know why Sunoo picked him
for this team.
I am so relieved when we
switch over to Team Flame On. Initially,
everyone wants K to be the group leader, but after what happened with Team
Flicker, he declines. He doesn’t like
how he acted with that team and wants to take a step back. He nominates Sunghoon, who’s hesitant because
he’s never been a group leader before, but he decides to give it a shot when
everyone promises to support him.
Jay is already preparing to
be eliminated. He’s learning the other
parts instead of a solo part and helping the group with recording their
rehearsals. It’s hard watching this,
knowing he’s not going to be the one eliminated. In the lounge, he even prepares goodbye
letters to the other finalists. It’s
like watching someone prepare for his death.
That night, he hands out the
letters. They agree to take them but not
read them if he’s one of the survivors.
But Sunghoon can’t resist and opens his as soon as Jay leaves the room. Jake and Ta-Ki also give in to curiosity and
read theirs. I’m kind of glad Jay did
this, letting his friends know how much they mean to him, whether he goes home
or not.
He’s not
the only one reaching out to his friends.
We flash back to the night they watched video messages outside the
building, and each finalist had recorded a short message of gratitude toward
another group member. And now I’m wiping
away tears again. This show is trying to
kill me.
We cut back to the I-Land,
and this time we’re back onstage with Namgoong Min on the screen. The finalists walk in and stand before the
judges. Time for the next round of
rankings.
But first, to drag this out as long as possible,
Namgoong Min reminds us where are the finalists currently rank, even though we
can already see the rankings on the banners hanging on each side of the stage. He also reminds us that Jake has been getting
double votes during a 24-hour period before the rankings we’re about to hear. Here we go, starting at the top.
#1 is Sunoo. Wow. Even with Jake getting double votes, Sunoo is
still at the top. He gives a sweet,
humble speech, thanking the voters. Then
he walks back through the gate to the I-Land.
#2 Heeseung. Did Jake even get any votes? Whatever’s going on, both Sunoo and Heeseung
are in the same spots they were at the midpoint rankings.
#3 is JAY. HOLY CRAP IT’S JAY. Of course, I
knew he wouldn’t be eliminated, but I wasn’t expecting a rank this high. The voters seriously came through for
him. Jay turns around to check the score
on the wall, unsure if he heard right.
Everyone, including the judges, is surprised and thrilled for him. As he struggles to say thank you, one of the
finalists behind him says, “He even wrote us goodbye letters!”
#4 Hanbin. I’m happy for our sweet-faced 23 year-old,
but seriously, Jake’s double vote benefit doesn’t seem to be helping him at
all. Hanbin has jumped an impressive
four spots.
#5 Sunghoon. He’s tumbled two spots but is
still in the Top 7. I’m sure he’s
relieved to hear his name called, but this is the lowest rank he’s had on the
show so far. And again, seriously, how
has Jake’s name not been called yet?
#6 K. You know, as much as he’s irritated me on
this show, I’m glad he’s still here. I’m
also glad he makes it into a successful group after he eventually gets
eliminated on this show. He deserves to
be here. He’s up three spots from the
midpoint rankings.
#7 Jake. About friggin’ time. Those double votes got him into the Top
7. He’s dropped two spots. Again, I’m sure he’s relieved, but he’s not
exactly jumping for joy. Meanwhile, the
survivors in the I-Land are worried that Jungwon’s name hasn’t been called yet.
#8 Jungwon. The I-Landers breathe a sigh of
relief. Jungwon has dropped two spots
since the midpoint rankings, where he had already dropped four spots. The finalists being called at this point look
disappointed instead of happy.
#9 Ni-Ki.
He looks stunned. He’s fighting back tears as he promises to
improve. He’s been struggling in the
rankings lately, and he’s the best dancer on the show.
Now the youngest two, Daniel
and Ta-Ki, are left on the stage. This
is going to be so hard to watch. Bang Si
Hyuk is kind to them, saying that most people their ages (15 and 16) are just
starting to think about their careers, and they’ve already come this far.
The final survivor is…
#10 Daniel.
Daniel looks stricken and
tries to catch Ta-Ki’s eye. He needs to
take the mic and say a few words, but he doesn’t move until Ta-Ki looks at him
and nods. Back at the I-Land, the
survivors are taking this really hard.
After promising to do better
and thanking the voters, Daniel runs to hug Ta-Ki, who tells him to keep trying
hard. Ta-Ki then takes the mic and says
that the last time he was in this situation, Geonu got eliminated instead. He regrets that he hasn’t done better after
that and has wound up here again. But
he’s not going to give up on his dream.
We know everything will work out for him. He needs to start learning how to draw an
ampersand.
Outside the building, the
surviving I-Landers say goodbye to their friend.
We have two episodes left and
three finalists to send home. I am out
of Kleenex. Please grab another box for
me and meet me at the next episode.
Oh, and I just realized that
Ta-Ki was on Team Chamber 5, which only had five members. So now someone from Team Flame On will have
to move over to the other team, and everyone will have to start over again. We’re almost at the end of this series, and
there will be chaos. See you there!
Episode 11: Tempest in a TV Show
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