Boy, I really focused on cake
a LOT in last week’s recap. I may even
have bought a slice after that and eaten it for breakfast. One thing I definitely did was watch a video
in which ATEEZ broke down the lyrics to “In Your Fantasy,” in which they innocently
denied any sexual meaning behind lines like “I’m here for the cake.” I went to Urban Dictionary, and after the
realization that I am seriously ignorant of modern slang, I started craving
cake even more. I have no idea what is
wrong with me. Welcome to Episode 6,
ATINY!
I swear, I had no idea.
When we left our Pirate Kings, two of the couples were on Hidden Dates. We open this episode with Mingi in a confessional. He gives us more lyrical analysis regarding “Crazy Form.”
“We believe if you write something in the lyrics, then the lyrics come true,” he says, which explains lines about getting a trophy, visiting all the continents, and putting commas in their checks. That makes the protagonist of the song an ATEEZ-style motivational speaker. The song is a badass TED Talk.
We cut to a great moment in a
recent live show. Hongjoong tells the
crowd that “In Your Fantasy” has just officially entered the Billboard Hot 100,
marking their second appearance on that chart in a row (the first being “Lemon
Drop.”) He even looks a little stunned,
like he can’t believe it either. They’re
being given yet another trophy they demanded in their lyrics. Their dreams are made manifest.
We get a look of life on a concert tour. Yonho describes it as “concert venue, hotel, airplane, repeat.” Mingi says hotels are one of the factors that tire them out, which surprises me at first because I love staying in hotels. But then I thought about arriving at a hotel, crashing from exhaustion, then doing a show and having to pack up and go to another hotel, crashing from exhaustion, rinse and repeat. Yeah, that would get old really fast. They do get time to go out and explore the cities they visit, which gives us some great footage.
I feel a glimmer of pride when I see Yunho discovering American landmarks. As depressed as I’ve been about the state of our country lately, it is a beautiful and breathtaking place to explore.
I also love seeing concert
footage. In a flashback clip of driving
around in the mountains, Yunho asks Mingi if he’s going to take his shirt off
on the upcoming tour. (Pause for fan
screams.) Mingi says he’s not sure. “I just take it off when I feel good,” he
hedges. Then, because the editors of
this show have a great sense of comic timing, we get a clip of the 2024 Yonsei
University Festival, where Mingi doesn’t just take his shirt off. He shreds it like a wild animal escaping a
net.
Now we go back to our dates. Specifically, the amusement park with Seonghwa and San. They’re still riding the indoor roller coaster, and Seonghwa’s screams are so high-pitched, they almost shatter my computer screen. This guy should try opera someday.
Now it’s time for the final
ride. After some hair-raising twists and
turns on the roller coaster, they’re going to chill out on the carousel. The last time they were here was four or five
years ago, and back then they took pictures of themselves in front of this
romantic ride. They decide to re-create
the photos.
My God, these guys are photogenic. Total face cards. (That’s another bit of slang I picked up this week. I am really old.)
Now their phones buzz with the news that it’s time for their Hidden Date. They hop back into the convertible. I really can’t think of anything else they could do that would make this date more perfect. An omasake meal in a Michelin Star restaurant and having an amusement park all to themselves – I think they may have the best date award wrapped up already.
They drive through the city at night with the top down while Seonghwa sings under his breath. It’s dizzyingly romantic. When a Hidden Ask pops up on Seonghwa’s phone, asking them what their dreamiest day was, they both enthusiastically agree it was today.
We briefly join Wooyoung and Hongjoong, whose Hidden Date was dinner at a 5-star luxury resort. They’re also driving back through the city. Wooyoung is singing in the car, practicing one of their English-language songs. After some reminiscing with them, we join Yeosang and Jongho at the seafood restaurant, where the show has sent them after they failed to catch a single fish on their date. The fish in that lake are going to be talking about that omasake bait meal for years.
Jongho throws back soju shots, and they both enjoy a meal that has their bandmates in the studio drooling with envy. Seonghwa tries to recreate the meal by taking a shot of water from his bottle cap.
San is in actual pain from jealousy. “Please eat the butter-grilled abalones now,” he begs. I don’t think I’ve truly understood the meaning of “food porn” until now. And why am I craving cake again?!
Jongho and Yeosang argue about who the best drinkers are in their group. The fact that Jongho keeps taking shots and hasn’t keeled over yet has me thinking he’s in first place. They debate whether Wooyoung or Mingi is in second place, which I’m not sure is a fair fight. Mingi’s at least four inches taller than Wooyoung and looks to have a good 20 pounds over him, so his tolerance has to be higher. And now I realize I am starting to take this show WAY too seriously.
Okay, it looks like I’m not the only one. Our two boys get into a scientific discussion over who is better at drinking soju versus liquor, and then Jongho breaks down how getting drunk on soju is more cost-effective than getting drunk on whiskey (Mingi’s drink of choice). I’m actually getting out my calculator before I remember I suck at math and don’t even drink. What the hell are we doing here?
Jongho must realize how he
sounds, because he makes a point of saying he doesn’t have a drinking
habit. His bandmates in the studio
emphatically disagree. His bandmates
also agree with me that this is a strange conversation for a romantic date.
Jongho is still going. He talks about going to a convenience store after a long video shoot and getting ramyeon and a bottle of Chamisul Soju, which of course took me down another Google rabbit hole. “Chamisul” means “real dew,” and it’s made by filtering it through charcoals made from three year-old Korean bamboo. Now I’m wondering how the makers of this drink landed on three years as being the right age for the bamboo, and I’m sure Jongho could tell me, but what a weird date this is turning out to be.
We then get a confessional in
which Yeosang talks about how much Jongho drinks. And there’s even more. “When it’s time for a toast, he doesn’t like
it if you just sip,” Yeosang tells us. “If
he poured it, you must finish it in one go.”
Jongho is clearly thrilled with this conversation.
In the studio, Jongho’s
bandmates accuse him of being a “kkondae.”
Back to Google I go. A kkondae is
a unique kind of bully, usually an older person in a position of power who
forces their outdated attitudes and rules onto others. Wait, isn’t Jongho the maknae? Is he secretly running this group? What the hell is going on here?
And for the record, I now have screenshots labeled “Jongho drinks” and “Jongho denial.” This recapping project just took a hard left turn and is now careening off the overpass because Yeosang STILL isn’t done. “It’s scary, drinking with Jongho,” he says. “The next day, you kinda have to worry about it. But Jongho is great at handling alcohol. No matter what happens, he always bounces back the next day.”
I don’t know if he’s saying this because it’s true, or because Jongho is sitting right next to him in the confessional and Jongho is the secret evil genius running this group and Yeosang is terrified. I start analyzing Yeosang’s facial movements to see if he’s blinking for help in morse code. We can hear the production crew laughing behind the camera, and I don’t know if it’s because this is all really a joke or if they’re all Jongho’s henchmen and Yeosang just talked himself into serious danger.
Speaking of hard left turns, let’s veer over to the Grand Walkerhill Hotel lounge, where Hongjoong and Wooyoung are enjoying their dinner, unaware of the horrors that are unfolding for their bandmate on the other side of town.
Wooyoung puts some food on
Hongjoong’s plate and says he remembers that Hongjoong doesn’t eat his
veggies. That’s something I have in
common with our captain. Why can’t
veggies taste good, like cake?
Everything should taste like cake.
Their cocktails arrive, and oh good, we’re drinking again. Well, Wooyoung is. Hongjoong sticks to soda. Now it’s time for them to check the results of the poll they posted to the rest of the group to decide who is the best dressed after today’s shopping trip. (A reminder to our viewing audience: My pick is Hongjoong.)
Turns out only three members voted – Seonghwa, Yunho, and San. I remember an earlier episode where Hongjoong complained about his bandmates not checking the group texts. I’m guessing the others were too busy to vote because they were fleeing from the maknae, who was chasing them with a bottle of Chamisul.
Our boys try calling the
members who didn’t vote. I have to laugh
at how irritated our captain looks.
“Join a K-pop group, they said. It will be FUN, they said…”
Hongjoong gets Mingi on the phone, and it would be so great if he were still paragliding when taking this call. Instead, Mingi is clearly aware the cameras are rolling and he’s on speakerphone, so he drops his voice several octaves and tries to sound bored. “Check KakaoTalk, Mingi,” his captain orders before hanging up. Leading this group must be like herding drunk cats.
While Wooyoung tries calling
the others, Mingi logs in and votes for Hongjoong. Good call.
Now our boys start arguing over who wins that vote. Was it for Hongjoong for looking good, or Wooyoung for picking out that outfit? Ah, the chaos of this group. I live for it.
And now Wooyoung is irritated
because none of the members are picking up his calls. To be fair, we’ve established they may be in
serious danger right now.
“Hi, you’ve reached Yeosang. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m
running for my life.”
Yeosang finally does log in and vote, ending any chance of a tie. Hongjoong wins in a landslide. San adds insult to Wooyoung’s injury, saying his look has no vibe and he needs a hat.
Wooyoung claims victory because he’s the one who styled Hongjoong. Whoever won, the result is that Hongjoong has to wear his new outfit on their next Music Bank appearance. That tells me that Hongjoong DID win, because he looks great in that jacket. Yes, he’ll look like a Amherst College grad student on Music Bank, but he’ll still rock the look. Especially if he pairs it with glasses.
Now we jump ahead to the Music
Bank appearance on June 20, 2025. Just
a few short weeks ago. (How is summer
over already?) Our captain steps up to
the building in the pouring rain and heavy winds. He looks embarrassed, but I still think he
makes it work.
He also poses in the stairwell,
and this footage solves a mystery for me.
I’ve seen so many K-pop artists wedging themselves under the railing of
this same stairwell in photos, and I didn’t know where it was. Now I see that it’s a popular photo spot for
K-pop artists when they perform on Music Bank. They also record a lot of TikTok dances here.
Now we return to Jongho and Yeosang, and we’re STILL talking about drinking. Yeosang has chosen not to drink today because he has a busy schedule tomorrow. But Jongho wants to make a drinking bet. They will each pick a different bandmate and call them at the same time. The person who gets their call answered wins. The loser has to take a drink. Jongho then pours a shot of soju and sets it in the middle of the table. This man is EVIL.
Yeosang wants to see what time it is so he can get an idea of which bandmate might pick up. Jongho won’t even let him look at the time. Jongho is REALLY evil. Like, a deliciously mean kind of evil. It’s a little bit thrilling. Why am I turned on by this? AND WHY AM I CRAVING CAKE AGAIN?!
Yeosang picks Hongjoong. Back in the studio, San is jealous again. He’s mad that Yeosang didn’t choose him. San’s an only child, isn’t he? (Okay, I looked it up – he has a sister, but he’s the only son. As a sister to an only son, I know how those boys can be.)
After some thought, Jongho
chooses Wooyoung. That’s pretty ballsy, considering
Jongho didn’t pick up Wooyoung’s call when it was time to do the clothing
vote.
This man doesn’t answer calls. He makes them.
Our boys count to three and then dial. I honestly don’t know which one I’m rooting for. My heart is actually pounding.
And the one who picks up is …
… Hongjoong. Yeosang wins!
“I missed you!” Yeosang tells his captain, who is understandably confused. Jongho takes the phone and demands to know why Hongjoong answered, considering he usually has his phone on DND. Again, are maknaes supposed to talk to their elders like this? And wait, why is Hongjoong’s phone usually on DND? Isn’t Hongjoong the one irritated by how unresponsive his bandmates are? I am so confused.
Yeosang puts the captain on speaker, and they talk about their dates. Jongho says his dates with Yeosang have been healing. Hongjoong reflects on his day of nearly drowning and then struggling to dress Wooyoung, and he says, “I don’t know if my dates were healing or killing.”
After the call, Jongho remains true to form. He wants to play another round. Yeosang knows better than to push his luck. Now Jongho is really disappointed, especially since Wooyoung isn’t even calling him back. The dynamics between these bandmates are wild.
Now Jongho is complaining that he had so many missed calls from Wooyoung earlier. “I guess they wanted my vote on who dressed better,” he says. Now I’m bewildered. He KNEW that’s what they wanted, he KNEW it was for the show they’re filming, and he DELIBERATELY ignored the calls? I’ve never seen a maknae get away with behavior like this. The closest I can think of is I.M from Monsta X, and he just seems older than his bandmates. Jongho is too babyfaced to be able to pull this off. Back in the Introduction Episode, Mingi got scolded for crossing his legs, and now Jongho just blows off his captain’s phone calls and orders people to drink. Just … wow.
Now Wooyoung calls Jongho back, saying he didn’t pick up because he was sleeping. “I drank because of you,” Jongho tells his bandmate. No, my guy. You drank because it was there. You drank because it’s Sunday. You drank because there’s a fifty percent chance of rain. You don’t NEED a reason.
Wooyoung hangs up on him, which
is fantastic. I actually applauded.
Now we briefly join San and Seonghwa, who are still driving to their Hidden Date. They’re talking about Coachella again, and I am so jealous of everyone who got to see that performance live. Just watching the clips makes me want to jump out of my seat and punch the air. The choreography is insane. Human bodies are not supposed to be able to move like that.
On to Yunho and Mingi. They’re also driving toward their Hidden
Date. They’re both hungry, and I realize
they haven’t eaten at all on their dates.
They’re both craving baeksuk, which is meat (usually chicken) with
different dipping sauces. They talk
about baeksuk for several minutes. It’s
all they can think about. I feel like I’m watching the Korean version
of Forrest Gump. Someone
please feed these guys.
“There’s young-gye baeksuk, and dak baeksuk, and
hanbang baeksuk … “
They arrive at the
restaurant, and Thank God it’s a baeksuk place.
In keeping with the theme of their dates, it’s nestled beautifully in
the forest, near a small waterfall. I can
smell the air. I wish I were there right
now.
This looks even more romantic
than the carousel at the amusement park.
I could spend hours here.
They decide to order makgeolli, which is an off-white, sparkling rice wine. I Googled it, and the taste is described as a less-sweet alcoholic yogurt drink. We spend several minutes with them in this relaxing atmosphere, watching them savor the food and enjoy the scenery. A cat joins them out of nowhere and curls up next to the table. This looks like heaven. Even the bandmates in the studio are peacefully calm while they watch.
Now back to San and Seonghwa, and they finally arrive at their Hidden Date location. It’s now past midnight. They’re wondering what could be open at this hour.
They drive higher and higher
into the mountains and finally arrive at Forest Park. A glampsite has been set up for them, and it’s
beautiful. Of course, the entire site
has been rented out just for them. I’m
calling it – San and Seonghwa will get the best date award.
Their picnic table includes premium,
single malt Scotch Macallan Whisky. Back in the studio, both Jongho and Mingi
look very jealous. This is incredibly romantic.
They raise a toast to happiness and then toast marshmallows over the glampfire. Well, San toasts marshmallows while Seonghwa tells him he’s doing it wrong.
We leave San and Seonghwa
under the stars, sipping top-shelf whisky and eating marshmallows, talking
about their perfect day. Time to check
back in with Yunho and Mingi, their biggest competition for the best date
award.
They’re remembering the first time they drank alcohol. Yep, that tracks with the rest of this episode. Mingi also talks about how much they’ve changed and grown up since they debuted. He says he went through a dark period of self-doubt for a while, thinking he was just a pretty face who didn’t deserve to be in a successful group. Eventually, he learned to rediscover his lost self. I like how he phrases that. And I really like how open and honest these guys are in moments like these.
The episode ends here. Next week, our boys will get a Hidden Ask
question about a truth they’ve kept hidden from the others. I’m guessing Jongho will confess his plan to
overthrow the management at KQ Entertainment and declare war on BTS. I wouldn’t put it past him. See you then, ATINY!
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