Hot Blood, Episode 10: The real Hot Blood was the friends we made along the way.

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(Written May 17, 2024)

Welcome to the series finale recap of Hot Blood,  an episode in which we should finally get rid of that porn title so our groups, 2am and 2pm, will emerge.

With each episode lasting only 30 minutes, I thought this would be the easiest show to recap, but that wasn’t the case.  It’s been really hard to identify our trainees because the translators kept changing the spelling of their names, and after the groups became famous, several members changed their own names.  I had to keep remembering that Junsu is now Jun K, and JaeBoem became Jay Park.

And I still haven’t figured out how JoKwon came back after being eliminated.  The translation is sketchy.  I know I’ve missed a lot of details, so thanks for hanging in there with me.

We open on the JYP Building again.  We’re told it’s the night before a fan meeting event, and the trainees are rehearsing.  They look more like a real K-pop group now, moving in sync and being more intuitive with each other.  They are on their way to becoming idols. 

Rehearsals stop when it’s time for correspondence.  A bag of blank cards is dumped out on the floor of the practice room.  The guys spread out on the floor and begin writing messages to the fans.  These cards will be given out to the fans at the event.  The idols really put effort into it – drawing cute little pictures and hearts and writing sweet messages.  They finally finish and stand up, stretching their sore muscles.  They need to get some rest.  They have a big day tomorrow.

D-Day – Fan Meeting Day – arrives.  Fans are already gathered outside the JYP Building.  The idols make their way through the crowd and onto the bus.  They’re hoping at least 100 people show up.  After seeing how many people showed up at their guerilla concert, I don’t think they have anything to worry about.

We cut to the venue.  We have three hours until showtime, and the line already extends down the block.  Fans are writing questions for the idols on a big poster.  The guys go inside for rehearsal and soundcheck, and then on to hair and makeup.

The fans start entering the venue, and each one is handed one of the handwritten cards.  This really was a great idea on the part of JYP.  I was a teenager in the 80s, and if I had arrived at a Duran Duran concert and been handed a handwritten note by Nick Rhodes, the entire course of my life would have changed.  My DNA would have been altered.  I would probably be living in one of those capsules on the London Eye right now, living off spare change and temp shifts in punk clothing stores.  I would have legally changed my name to Rio.

I watch as the fans excitedly read their cards and show them to their friends.  I’m telling you, lives are being changed.

Showtime!  The lights go down, the girls start screaming, and out come our idols.  They start with a self-written rap.  Then they dance to a Will Smith song.  We’re getting clips of each performance, and it looks like a lot of fun.  The girls are losing their minds. 

After a few minutes of this, the idols take seats on the stage so they can answer fan questions.  We see the posterboard crammed with questions, and I have to laugh when the host says, “Some questions are quite perverted.  I’m not choosing them on purpose.  Everyone, what were you thinking?”

One question read aloud is, “What part of your body are you most confident in?”  Jay Park stands up and removes his jacket, pretending to look surprised at the wave of screams it brings from the audience.  He says innocently that he was just trying to show his arms.

They’re asked about their time on the island, and they are very positive about their answers, saying they learned a lot.  As they’re talking, we hear someone offstage blow a whistle.  The soldiers are here!  They march in, wearing nice suits instead of the camo uniforms.  Thankfully, they are here to celebrate the idols’ first fan meeting and not to drag them back onto the ferry.

The idols greet their former tormenters and hug them.  The soldiers join them onstage to talk about how everyone cried at the first eliminations and how moving it was.  I keep waiting for one of them to look at Kwon and say, “Wait a minute, what are you still doing here?”

Now it’s time for another guest.  It’s Jessica, the yoga teacher!  Oh no.  I know exactly where this is going. 

Jessica walks onto the stage, looking lovely as always, and suddenly our suave idols can’t speak.  They’re literally stammering and blushing.  They can’t even look at her.  Instead, they look shyly at the host and say they’re happy that Jessica is here, and their hands are trembling because they’re nervous.

I’m telling you, if Wonho were here, he’d look right into Jessica’s eyes and ask if she’d like to see the muscle she’d helped strengthen.  THAT is what a true K-pop idol would do.  Just saying.

Now for another guest.  They spell his name Kim Ji Su here, but we know him as Kim Kisoo from Episode 8, the one who took them to girls’ schools to creep on underage girls advertise the guerilla concert.  Yay.  He brings out a cake with lit candles to celebrate the fan meeting.  The idols gather around him and blow out the candles.  Thank you, Mr. Kim.  Now if you’ll kindly step backstage, an American named Chris Hansen would like a word with you.

More chat between the idols and their former instructors.  Then Seulong tells Jessica she is pretty and has a beautiful figure and wants to know if she can show him some exercises to help maintain his figure.  THERE you go, Seulong!  I know at least one of you could do this! 

Jessica is game.  She stands up and demonstrates a tree pose.  Then Kim Kisoo tries the same pose.  Dude, just leave.

Time for more performances.  We get solo songs and really impressive dance moves.  Khun plays an electronic keyboard during a ballad.  

Now for a raffle.  Each idol pulls a number, and the audience member with that number gets to come onstage to interact with that idol.  Some get songs sung to them, while others get to dance with the idol or have a rose handed to them.  There’s a sweet moment when Kwon calls his mother’s number, and she comes onstage to hug her son. 

More performances.  I’m getting concerned because we’ve only got about five minutes left, and our boys have not been split into the two groups.  Turns out that’s not going to happen here.  The idols come out for a final farewell, and that’s it.

For people who were watching the show live when it aired, that was probably a satisfying ending.  They thought they were watching the debut of the Hot Blood Boys.  But for people like me, writing years afterward, it’s kind of confusing.

Google, help me out here. 

Apparently, the group’s name was always One Day, even while they were training on the island.  Maybe it was part of the conversation that was not translated.  At some point before any studio albums were released, JYP entertainment split the group, putting four members in 2am and the remaining seven in 2pm.  The 2am group is a ballad group, more sophisticated and romantic.  The 2pm group is the hip-hop, more dance-focused group.  The music of 2am is calm and quiet, reflecting that time of day, while 2pm brings the heat of late afternoon.

One thing I also missed is that during the audience voting, Jay Park got the highest number of votes.  He was a huge fan favorite.  However, his role in 2pm ended almost as soon as it began.  Let’s talk about Park Jae-beom, or Jay Park.

Jay is American-born, from just outside of Seattle.  He grew up obsessed with hip-hop and kept cutting school to perform with his group Art of Movement.  His mom got tired of trying to keep him in school and suggested that he try out for JYP Entertainment, which was hosting auditions in Seattle.  He made it in and was brought to Seoul as a JYP Trainee in 2005. 

Three years later, after enduring the grueling life of a trainee getting lessons in rap, singing, and dance, he was chosen for the Hot Blood documentary.  He eventually became a part of the group 2pm.  He also recorded songs for television show soundtracks and became a cast member on several Korean variety shows.  His star was rising very quickly.

A year later, in September 2009, it came crashing down.  In Korea, there are     K-pop fans with such a fierce loyalty to certain bands, they work to destroy the lives of idols they see as competing with their favorites.  One of these toxic fans hacked Jay Park’s MySpace account and found comments he’d written in 2005, the year he first came to Korea.  Those comments were leaked to the Korean media.

The comments, on their faces, were pretty bad.  He wrote things like “Korea is gay,” “I hate Koreans,” “I want to go back to the States again.”

The public was furious.  Jay Park tried to explain the context.  He was a teenager in a foreign country where he didn’t fit in.  He was homesick and lonely, he didn’t speak the language or understand the culture, and the life of a trainee was wearing him out.  He was venting in English in private messages to a fellow MySpace friend back in the US.  

I get it.  I was in high school when I became an exchange student in Barcelona for a semester.  I barely spoke Spanish and was attending an American school, so I wasn’t learning much more.  I was immature and judgmental about everything, especially since I’d been raised in a strict Catholic household and hadn’t pulled out of the religious mindset yet.  I hated every minute of that experience and wrote about it in letters to my family and friends and vented about it over the phone.  I was not very nice to my host family.  If social media had existed back then, I’m sure I would have vented there as well.

I am a drastically different person than I was as a teenager.  I’m sure most people can say that, including Jay Park.  If the outraged Korean public had stopped for a moment and been honest with themselves, they would have had to admit the same thing. 

But they didn’t.  The public demanded that the very idol they had voted most popular be removed from 2pm.  JYP Entertainment initially dug their heels in and said no.  But a day later, Jay announced he was leaving the group and returning to Seattle.  Everything he had worked so hard for, all the risks he had taken, and all the exhausting training he had endured on the island, was all for nothing, just because he had behaved like a typical teenage boy would in such unusual circumstances.  There was no forgiveness or any attempt to understand the context. 

The punishment extended to the rest of 2pm.  After Jay left, the group had to cancel scheduled TV appearances as well as the final episode of another reality show they were filming.  They had to re-film a music video to erase Jay’s presence. 

The Korean media does not forgive easily, but sometimes, they eventually do forgive.  They began looking at the situation with more clarity and tried to understand Jay’s mindset when he wrote those messages.  Fans began calling for Jay to return to Korea and 2pm.  JYP, however, would not risk getting burned again.  They terminated Jay’s contract.

Thankfully, Jay Park is doing fine.  He began appearing with Art of Movement again and started performing his own music on YouTube.  He became a huge success on the platform and filmed a movie called Hype Nation.  He also got an endorsement deal with Levi Strauss & Co.  He returned to South Korea in 2010 to a welcoming public. 

Over the next couple of years, he joined SNL Korea and co-founded his own hip-hop record label AOMG.  He founded another label in 2022.  He’s been named one of GQ Korea’s Men of the Year.  I would argue that he’s doing better than he would have if he’d stayed in 2pm.

Both 2am and 2pm had worldwide success, although 2pm was the more popular and successful of the two groups.  They are both still active and releasing music, and the individual members have been doing plenty of solo projects. 

And that, my fellow music fans, wraps up our wild, intense, questionably legal K-pop survival reality show. 

I’ll be taking another break, but I do want to continue doing recaps.  And I’m serious about Femme Factor.  Please someone make it into a show.  You can have the idea for free.

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Hot Blood, Episode 9: Fan service and a fairy tale

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(Written May 16, 2024)

We see the elimination scene again.  Our three cut trainees, fighting back tears, look into the camera and tell the fans they will work harder in the future and to please support the Hot Blood Boys.  I can’t wait until they change that group name.

Moving forward to the next day at the dorm.  A writer has shown up unexpectedly.  A lot of people have been barging in unexpectedly on these trainees over the course of the show.  These people need to make appointments, and our trainees need to lock their doors.

The writer asks why only six of the trainees are here talking to her.  Lady, call ahead next time.  The six trainees tell her it’s because the others are in school.  They are university students now.  Okay, this is what I want a documentary about.  How trainees balance school and the demands of being a trainee. 

We get a title card for Episode 9, “Hot Blood Boys’ Personal Life.”  Maybe we’ll get some answers here.  The trainees will be recorded going about their daily lives so the fans can learn more about them.  They are all given camcorders.

The camera work for the rest of this episode is all done by the trainees with the camcorders, and honestly, they do a better job than the Mnet crew.  We are getting regular daily life for these boys.  For example, we start with some of the trainees showing us a jar full of coins they’ve been saving.  They take them to the bank and learn they’ve saved six million won.  That’s $4,447.77 USD, which I’ll admit is impressive.  That’s about four months’ rent for me.  We don’t find out what they do with the money, although they do talk about ordering pizza.  Dream big, guys.

Next, we get a glimpse into Junho’s university life.  I’m struggling with the translation, but I think it says he only goes once a week.  He had to miss orientation because he was rehearsing for the concert.  We see him in the break room, hanging out with his friends.  I Googled Junho, and he went to Howon University with Chansung and Wooyoung.  In fact, he and Chansung went on to get their masters degrees in cinematography from Sejong University.  While being trainees.  That’s amazing.

Back at the dorm, we see many, many pairs of sneakers stacked up in the entrance hall.  The shoes fill shelves, the storage space above the closet, and the floor.  We also see all the pictures on the wall of the selfies the trainees been taking, as well as a stuffed doll that Junsu sleeps with.

We switch to Kwon’s camera.  He hasn’t been home in a long time, so we go with him to meet his mom and his cute dog, Lucky.  It’s really sweet.  Now to Jay Park, who tells us he’s been going to the gym every day for three years.  He shows us his workout routine.  I’m jolted awake when my forehead hits the keyboard.

Chansung and Taecyeon go to the movies after taking an acrobatics lesson.  Seulong and Kwon meet up with a rookie artist named Joo, surprising her in a practice room.  She has a lovely voice.  Junsu meets a fellow musician friend for dinner.  

Back at the dorm, Taecyeon Googles the Hot Blood Boys to see what people are saying.  He says he’s shy and awkward when talking to fans.  I’ve already talked about how trainees are isolated from women, but I don’t think that’s the only problem.  It’s got to be hard to have a conversation with a female fan when the fan’s half of the conversation is them hyperventilating and saying, “Oh my God I love you so much you are so wonderful and so cute and I’ve been to all of your concerts because I follow you everywhere and do you have a girlfriend?”  That’s not normal human interaction.  I’m watching these guys have normal human interactions with other people through their camcorders, and they’re doing fine.

We move over to Wooyoung, who is watching the popular Korean TV show Infinite Challenge.  He says he’s not able to do any of the challenges. Meanwhile, Seulong swipes two cartons of milk from another dorm.  (Guys, when you commit a crime, maybe don’t film it and put it on TV.)

Khun’s turn.  His Korean sounds more confident now.  We watch him play basketball with his fellow trainees. 

Finally, we get the whole group, thanking us for watching.  The episode ends.

Okay, that was a bit of a detour, but it gave us the chance to get to know these guys better.  In the spirit of this episode, I’ll finish this recap with the story of our handsome prince, Nichkhun (Khun). 

Khun was born to Thai Chinese parents.  His mom is the CEO of Union Medical, making his family quite wealthy.  His dreamy looks, upper class background, and success as one of the first foreigners in the K-pop industry earned him the nickname “Thai Prince” in South Korea.

He’s had a really charmed life.  We already know he had no musical experience when he was scouted in California.  He was a competitive badminton player and thought he would do that for a living.  Over the course of his childhood, he lived in the US, Thailand, and New Zealand.  And now, he’s a K-pop idol, model, and actor.  He’s the first Thai national to be part of a successful K-pop group.

His luck extended to military service.  As a Thai citizen, he was put in the military draft lottery in 2009.  When his name came up, his home district had already met the required quota, so he didn’t have to serve.

His luck came to a temporary halt in 2012 when he drove while intoxicated and crashed into a motorcyclist.  His license was suspended.  He took accountability, apologized, and went on a hiatus from the industry.  He’s now back at work in music and acting. 

His first Hollywood film, The Modelizer, was released last year.  He has a racy sex scene in the movie, which upset some of his K-pop fans.  The movie didn’t seem to do well in theaters, from what I can find about it, but it’s available for streaming.  Regardless of the film’s lack of success, he’s still the dashing prince.  Single, available, and dreamy.

Stay tuned for the final episode, where we will hopefully see our two groups formed. We’ll also learn about the mistake that nearly ended the dream for one of the members of 2pm.  See you then.

Episode 10:  The real Hot Blood was the friends we made along the way.

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Hot Blood, Episode 8: Boys to Men

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(Written May 15, 2024)

It’s guerilla concert time!  Whooooooo!  I don’t have a light stick, but I’ve glued a yellow highlighter to a spatula, so that should work fine.  Let’s do this!

We open on the JYP Building.  The trainees are split into vocal and dance teams.  As we watch the dancers rehearse, we get a helpful message from whoever translated this.  Over a close-up of Jay Park dancing, the subtitle reads, “JaeBum’s wonderful appearance’s Hot Blood.”  At the top of the screen is a typed message reading, “It really doesn’t make sense when translated literally.”   I understand.  I’m just grateful someone took the time to translate this as best they could.

The dance team rehearses until they are drenched in sweat and lying on the floor.  One asks, “When does practice end?”  A teammate answers, “It doesn’t end.”  Darn right it doesn’t.  Get back on your feet.  We find out they will be singing live while dancing, which is incredibly hard, but after all that military training, I think they can do this.

Rehearsals are looking and sounding great, but of course we know by now that these shows cannot allow us to be happy for long.  We cut to Jinwoon (currently of 2am) missing the practice and sitting by himself.  He has injured his shoulder.  He can’t raise his right arm past chest level.  He’s really bummed.  He knows this is going to be a fun concert to be a part of, and he’s missing it.

Fast forward to final rehearsals in the practice room the day before the concert.  Our script writer is here.  They gather around this woman who is still bundled up like a ski instructor.  That room must be 400 degrees after all these guys have been dancing in it for hours.  Does she have an iron deficiency?  Could someone please check her thyroid?  I am genuinely concerned for this woman.  

Whatever’s going on with her, she tells the group they need to spend the day advertising the concert so people will show up.  None of our trainees have ever advertised a concert before.  Someone is coming to help them.   In walks a man named Kim Kisoo, who is apparently famous because our trainees are losing their minds.  I can’t find anything about him on Google.  Maybe the translator misspelled his name.

Mr. Kim says he’s talked with the Mnet production team, and he suggests advertising at a girl’s school in the area where the concert will be held.  Right away, I’m wondering what kind of security they have at girls’ schools in Korea.  At my former schools, a group of guys couldn’t just show up on campus like this, and security is even stricter now.  Somebody’s going to get arrested.

Our trainees perk up and start cheering about going to a girls’ school.  Um, how old are these girls going to be?  Are these guys going to be disrupting classes?  Will the teachers be around?  Does this happen a lot in Korea?

Mr. Kim shows them the color flyers they will be handing out to the students.  The YouTube translator adds their own note that says, “It’s hard to tell if they’re happy to be advertising or happy to be meeting female students.”  Okay, I’m officially creeped out.  I have so many questions about a school that lets a bunch of 20-something men just show up and mingle with their female students.

It gets worse.  On the bus, Mr. Kim advises them to wink and flirt with the girls.  (In Korea, the emergency number to dial for the police is 112.  Just felt the need to throw that out there.)  Mr. Kim wants to see how our trainees would give eye contact.  The example Jay Park gives belongs on a horror movie poster.  Thankfully, Mr. Kim shuts that down, saying he’s going to scare the girls away.

We arrive at a girls’ middle school in Seoul.  Middle school for me was ages 12-15.  I looked it up, and it’s the same in South Korea.  These girls are literal children. 

Turns out classes are done for the day, so the students are gone.  Aw, too bad.  Guess we need get right back to the JYP Building as fast as possible and throw the flyers out the windows at passers-by.  Just slam that gas pedal to the floor. 

But no, we’re off to find another school.  Their timing is perfect on their second try.  The girls have been watching the show and recognize the Hot Blood Boys.  They mob the trainees for selfies.  They gather around the bus and give high-fives to our boys through the windows.  I am so uncomfortable right now. 

Finally, the bus drives away.  We cut to March 8^th at 4:30pm.  The trainees are getting back on the bus to go to the concert venue.  A passing female fan gives Junho a small box of chocolates.  That’s really nice, but he should throw it away as soon as she’s gone.  (Seriously, a few K-pop idols have been poisoned by anti-fans in the past few years.  THROW IT AWAY.)

The stage is set up in front of the Doota Mall in Seoul, and it all looks really cool.  Fans have already gathered to watch the boys rehearse.  They’re clutching their signs and taking pictures.  Our trainees are nervous.  They want to get on with this already. 

Backstage, Mr. Kim tells them they should be nervous, not just about the show, but about the fact that there will be a final elimination afterward.  You’re telling them this right before they go onstage?  I’m guessing you’re not famous for being tactful.  Who exactly are you again?

When the sun sets and the concert starts, there are, by my conservative estimate, 50 billion people in the audience.  Exactly how big was that girls’ school?  Mr. Kim comes out to introduce the band, the pyrotechnics kick in, and we’re off!

The dance team starts with choreo to “Ice Box” by Omaion.  The girls love it.  Apparently, the audience will be voting and ranking the members.  I’d forgotten about that part.  Up to now, voting and ranking are vague notions that occasionally get mentioned on this show, and when we had three people eliminated earlier, one of them mysteriously came back.  So I have no idea how any of that works.

The next dance performance is to “Yeah,” by Usher, a classic I still love.  These are not the scruffy boys who introduced themselves in Episode 1.  These are men.  They still look a little rough around the edges, but I can easily see the idols they will become.

Now for the vocal team.  The song is “Proposal” by Noel.  The harmonies are lovely – and oh my God, we get a fanchant.  I love K-pop fans.

Backstage, our trainees are getting more and more nervous about the upcoming elimination.  It’s all they’re talking about.  But they don’t have time to dwell on it, because both teams are about to take the stage and perform together.  Jinwoon won’t be in this part because of his shoulder.  He sees the others off and then turns around in tears.  He’s probably thinking he’ll be eliminated because of this.  Since he will make it to 2am, I’m looking forward to seeing his reaction when he’s proven wrong.

The group onstage is performing the Chris Brown song “Gimme Dat.”  I do some quick Googling.  This was filmed a year before Chris Brown beat up Rihanna and put her in the hospital.  So we didn’t know about him yet.  Okay.  Proceed. 

The trainees are a bit crowded on that stage, but they give a fun, high-energy performance, and the crowd eats it up.  Khun grabs the mic, and I want to see if his rapping has improved since Mr. Typhoon’s assignment, but we suddenly cut backstage to Jinwoon, still in tears.  Poor guy.  Mr. Kim is attempting to consoling him.  He says, “If you cry now, what are you going to do when something worse happens later on?”  WHAT.  This is NOT helpful.  He then goes on to say, “Are you going to cry like this every time?”  Hit him, Jinwoon.  I bet he’ll cry.

Back to the stage for a rousing rendition of Justin Timberlake’s “Sexy Back.”  Wow.  We’re just covering all kinds of artists we won’t want to be celebrating in a few years.  What an innocent time 2008 was. 

Cut to the Mnet Building, where they are tallying the audience votes.  Our trainees are all gathered at the JYP Building for the results.  

Unlike the elimination ceremonies on No Mercy and Wild Idol, this one is mercifully brief.  The names of the trainees who can stay are read very quickly.  The eliminated ones are Leeschi, Doojoon, and – wait, Jinwoon?  Jinwoon got eliminated?  But he’s in 2am!  Is he going to sneak back in the way JoKwon did?

Our eliminated three are devasted.  The other trainees hug them.  And we end here.

What a downer of an ending after such a fun concert.  I’ll be curious to see how Jinwoon comes back.

And if you are a college or university dean, and Mr. Kim is studying grief counseling at your institution, please expel him immediately.  Jeez.

Episode 9:  Fan service and a fairy tale

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Hot Blood, Episode 7: A challenge scarier than death…

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(Written May 14, 2024)

We open at 8pm on what I assume is still Yoga Day.  We get dramatic music as the subtitles tell us one of the soldiers is coming into the house without any prior notice.  He pushes open the front door and tells the startled trainees to meet him in the yard in three minutes.

Their late-night run ends in a graveyard.  We switch to night vision.  I feel like I’m watching Paranormal Activity.  We are told that this is a mission to test the boys’ nerves.  Didn’t they just do yoga and meditation this morning?  These guys are going to be a complete mess by the end of this series.

The night vision camera guy keeps sneaking up on the trainees and scaring them.  Finally, the soldiers gather everyone in a line at the edge of the graveyard and tell them to close their eyes and reflect on their lives.  They need to think about what they want to do while they’re still alive.

Next, they open a large, coffin-shaped wooden box.  I do not like where this is going.  We’re told that Junsu will be the first to experience death.  He’s told to get into the box and lie down.

I’ll be honest – this is where I’d quit.  Everything up to this point, even the yoga, I’d endure if I were perusing a lifelong dream of debuting, but this is where I’d say I suddenly remembered I had to take the college entrance exam and then swim my way back to the mainland.  This would be my breaking point.

Junsu is a stronger person than I am.  He gets into the box.  They put the lid on.  The other trainees are looking very, very anxious. 

Thankfully, the soldiers don’t actually bury the box.  If this were The Traitors on NBC, they would bury it.  That episode gave me nightmares.  But on this show, they just have the trainee stay in the box for a few minutes and then let him out.  This is the only time I’ve seen a mission where an American show went harder than the Korean one.

Junsu is very quiet when he emerges.  He walks back to his teammates, and one by one, each gets their turn in the box.  Then they take turns expressing their thoughts after this experience.  They talk about the things they want to accomplish in their lives before eventually having to go into that box for good.

The soldier tells them they have been reborn now.  This experience clearly had an impact on these guys.  I wonder if they’ll be able to sleep tonight.

We cut to 6am the next morning, as the boys head out for the morning workout.  They’re shirtless again, even though now it’s snowing.  The soldier has them lie down and roll around in the snow. They may wind up back in that box sooner than expected.

Now they start running again, and the snow seems to be coming down harder.  Seriously, I hope North Korea is watching this show.  You don’t want to attack a country that’s already willing to do this to themselves.

The trainees get home, shower, and then sprawl out on the floor in the main room.  The soldiers return.  They announce that this morning’s run was supposed to be done while wearing 20 kg (44 pounds) worth of military equipment.  The weather changed that plan.  For now, they are told to gather in the middle of the floor and face the video screen.

Mr. Park Jin Young himself appears on the screen.  He has been watching footage of the training like a villain in a Bond movie.  He turns to the camera and tells the trainees that he is impressed with their progress and that they have what it takes for the future.  He now wants them to – OH THANK GOD – return to Seoul and resume their actual K-pop training.

Our boys are thrilled.  If I were them, I’d never want to see a beach again.

JYP tells them the training they just did is so much easier than the road they’re about to take.  Working to succeed in the music business will be, according to the translation, “physically and mentally 10 times or 100 times harder than this.”  Having never been in the music business, I can’t speak to this, but I do have my doubts.

Back in the screening room, the soldier tells them to look back on their previously lazy selves and be better.  He says, “Please throw away any bad memories with the instructors and keep the good memories in your hearts.”

Another soldier tells them, “In a way, we’ve really come to like you guys and feel a bit down that it’s over.”  This is actually kind of sweet.  The trainees hug the soldiers goodbye and take group pictures in the snow. 

 

The soldiers leave, and then the production team gives the trainees their cell phones back.  Being without a cell phone for several days should have been an endurance mission in itself.  They immediately start checking messages and taking selfies.  Then they go outside and have a snowball fight.  The landscape really is beautiful with the falling snow and lack of yelling soldiers.  My Yelp review would recommend visiting the island when it isn’t Yelling Soldier Season. 

Finally, everyone gets back on the bus for home.  They are still glued to their phones.  The snow turns to sleet as the bus drives onto the ferry.  The gloomy weather is a stark contrast to the bright sunny weather they had on the way over.  

We arrive at the JYP building.  The trainees have a meeting with a “script writer,” according to the translation.  It looks like they’re back in that same practice room where we first met them in Episode 1.  Just as I’m thinking that seeing this room again would trigger flashbacks, one of the trainees looks at the camera in mock terror and says, “Are we going to the island again?”

The script writer arrives and asks them to take turns sharing their most memorable experiences from the island.  They should all just do the raps they wrote for Mr. Typhoon.  Several of them talk about the talent show.  We find out that the night before the military training began, they were told they’d be going fishing the next day.  It’s kind of funny how mean that is.  Of course, one trainee fondly remembers Jessica the yoga teacher.  

The script writer, who is bundled up like she’s still outside, thanks them for sharing their memories.  (Is this the same building from No Mercy?  Why are these training rooms so cold?)  She then asks them if they know what’s next.  They shake their heads.  She tells them.

They’re going to another island.

The trainees freeze in shock.

Then she says she’s just kidding.  I want to strangle her with her own scarf.  She says the trainees have to do something before they can get the approval of the viewers.  They’re going to have to put on a public guerilla concert.  This Saturday.

I don’t know what day it currently is on the show, but I’m guessing they have less than a week.  The trainees are terrified because it will be their first time performing in front of an audience.  They were lying in a closed coffin  24 hours ago, but THIS is what scares them. 

I’ve been excited to see what a guerilla concert is ever since I first saw it in the series description.  Grab your favorite ninja gear and join me in the next episode.  This should be fun!

 

Episode 8:  Boys to Men

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Hot Blood, Episode 6: The Few, The Proud, the Babbling Boys

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(Written May 13, 2024)

It’s 6am, and our trainees are doing jumping jacks in front of the house.  A soldier tells them that today they will do battle with themselves.  Today is their “human’s limit.”  He then yells a bunch of words at them.  Cooperation!  Unity!  Sacrifice!  Friendship!  I wish he had thrown another random noun in there just to see if they were paying attention.  Cooperation!  Unity!  Tuna fish!  Sacrifice! 

The trainees jog to the beach for what the show tells us is “Marine Training.”  We learn that it’s -8 degrees Celsius (18 degrees Fahrenheit).   They change into their own camo uniforms.  Suddenly, for the first time in this series, we’re getting confessionals.  The trainees tell us how putting on the uniforms make this suddenly very real, and they’re nervous.

After a warm-up of jumping jacks, the soldier orders them to do something called banpodaegyo.  The only thing I can find online is that it’s the name of a famous bridge in Seoul.  The trainees aren’t sure about this either, telling us in confessionals they thought it had something to do with choreography.

Turns out it’s an exercise where you get on all fours and hook your legs over the shoulders of the person behind you on all fours, so you are all literally forming a bridge.  They have to stay locked in that position to keep the bridge up.  If anyone falls, the whole bridge collapses.  

Next up is a mission in cruelty called Sand Training.  The trainees move to the mud flats, which are covered by about two inches of water.  They have to lie flat and roll around.  It’s below freezing, the wind is blowing so hard that it’s battering the microphones and making it hard to hear, and now their uniforms are soaked.  In the confessionals, which are hard to get used to seeing six episodes in, the trainees tell us they feel like they’re going to die.

The trainees keep rolling in the mud.  They’re in agony.  Finally, they get to stand, mud dripping from their clothes.  They’re given oars, which they have to prop up on one end, and then they jump to the position of the person next to them while keeping the oars upright.  It’s way harder than it sounds.  Watching this, I think it would be a fun thing to do with a group of friends, indoors in dry clothes, around noon, after we’ve slept in and started our day by not rolling around in freezing cold mud.  

They finally get the hang of it, and they do some other team exercises that all look like fun if they were being done anywhere else instead of in mud.  When they finally complete these missions, the soldier lets them yell for five seconds to release their frustration.  Surprisingly, that doesn’t seem to help, as one of them suddenly faints.  They say it’s Kwon.  Wait, is that JoKwon?  Wasn’t he eliminated in the last episode?  What is he doing here?  I know he eventually gets to debut with 2am, but we never saw him get brought back.  Did he sneak back in?

The group resuscitates Kwon, and then they all go back to the house to defrost.  After they take hot showers and change clothes, it’s back to the beach for more Marine Training. 

They put on life vests and are given two rubber rafts.  One trainee sits in each raft as the others carry the rafts over their heads toward the water line.  The subtitles aren’t covering everything that’s being said.  Each time someone makes a mistake, and I don’t even know what the mistakes are, the trainees have to kneel while still holding the boats over their heads and keep moving forward on their knees.  Then they crawl with the boats on their backs.

When they finally make it to the ocean, they paddle out into the waves and out towards the horizon.  If they can just make it to international waters, they can apply for asylum somewhere.  But no, they paddle out to a marker and then raise their oars and triumphantly cheer.  They’ve passed all the Marine Training missions. 

Now something happens that’s going to take me on a bit of a tangent.  We cut to the house a few hours later, once the trainees have defrosted again.  Du-Joon (that’s how they’re spelling his name in this episode) is heading out.  Turns out that fellow trainee Chan-Sung did not participate in the training today because he’s a student and had to spend the day taking the college entrance exam.  Du-Joon is riding along in the car to pick him up.

Okay.  I have the same question I did back in the No Mercy recaps.  When do trainees have time to study for this?  I Googled this exam.  According to articles I found on the BBC Online and AsiaSociety.org, Korea’s college entrance exam, called Suneung, is one of the hardest exams in the world.  It’s an eight-hour exam in multiple subjects.  And the stakes are beyond high.  How you do on this exam not only determines if you’ll get into the college you want, but it also affects what jobs you can get after school and even future relationships.  This is literally an exam that determines your fate.

Korean students start preparing for this exam as early as kindergarten.  By the time they’re in high school, they are doing nothing but studying for this exam up to ten hours per day.  The professors who write the exam content do so in a secret remote location in the mountains of Korea, with their cell phones and all other forms of communication taken away so they can’t leak exam questions. 

Honestly, the amount of preparation Korean students go through and the impact it has on their lives is unbelievable.  The entire country shuts down on the day of this exam.  Airports actually cancel flights so the sound of planes won’t distract the students. Students who are running late can get police escorts. 

We have students in the US suffering from anxiety over the SATs.  The Suneung makes the SATs look like a BuzzFeed quiz.  If I were a Korean student, I would probably have a complete nervous breakdown.

After reading about all this, I had even more questions.  If these trainees are dedicating themselves to making it as a K-pop idol, why should they take this exam?  Yes, I know the odds are against them ever getting to debut, and they should have a backup plan, but what kind of backup plan is it if they don’t have the ten hours a day to study?

Whatever the logic, Chan-Sung has missed the Marine Training so he could take this exam.  Du-Joon meets him at the dock.  When Chan-Sung asks what the other trainees did that day, Du-Joon can only point to the beach.  It may take years of therapy before he can talk about it.

Chan-Sung is smart and brings ice cream to the other trainees as an apology for missing the most intense day of training yet.  Of course, that’s not going to make up for it.  If I were the other trainees, I’d make him sleep outside on the mud flats.  

We move on to 6am the next day.  A soldier comes in to wake up the boys.  (The subtitles keep referring to them as the “hot blooded boys,” which makes me feel like I’m watching porn.)  The trainees are so sore from the Marine Training, they weren’t able to get much sleep.  They are groggy and sluggish during the morning run.  Back at the house, they worry about what kind of training they will get today.

They gather in the main room and sit on the floor.  A soldier tells them to close their eyes and meditate.  While they are doing this, we cut to outside, where two women are approaching.  They are Jessica and her assistant, and they are here to teach yoga.  

Some people might say Chan-Sung timed his day off perfectly.  However, as a generally anxious person who can’t sit still for two minutes, I disagree.  I hate yoga and would rather be doing Marine Training in Antarctica. 

Nothing Jessica says is translated, which is frustrating.  However, I’m learning a lot from the trainees’ facial expressions.  Both women are very attractive, and the guys are blushing and grinning like they’ve never seen a woman before.

I have seen this a LOT in these reality shows.  With the exception of Wonho from No Mercy, these boys who are training to be K-pop sex symbols turn into quivering buffoons when they see a pretty girl.  They spend so many years training in dorms with other guys that when they see an actual woman, they may as well be looking at a space alien.  They have no idea what to do or where to look.  All they can do is sheepishly say things that translate into English as basically “girl pretty heh heh.”

I would like to propose a new survival reality show, hosted by Wonho.  It will be called Femme Factor.  Male trainees will attempt missions that include:

• Looking at a pretty girl without drooling.
• Saying hello to a pretty girl without drooling.
• Having a basic conversation with a pretty girl without drooling.  Bonus points for eye contact.

Yes, we will have the usual dance, vocal, and rap missions, but the coaches will all be attractive women.  The trainees who complete these missions without melting into babbling puddles of cold sweat get to debut.

Anyway, back to our room of stammering boys.  They get out their yoga mats, and to be fair, once the training begins, they are focused.  They are way better at concentrating and holding poses than I could ever be.  God, I hate yoga.

They make it through the class, and I am impressed.  In the confessionals, they talk about how hard the yoga was and how hot the teachers were.  Wonho, I’m serious.  Call me, and let’s pitch this show.  

Jessica ends the class with a guided meditation about finding peace and joy in the things you love to do.  That’s a really nice way to end this episode.  The guys look blissed out, or maybe they’ve just fallen asleep.  Either way, let’s leave them with the few moments of peace they can get on this show.  See you next episode.

Episode 7:  A challenge scarier than death …

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Hot Blood, Episode 5: Speed-dating the Trainees

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(Written May 12, 2024)

We are back in the beach house.  A soldier barks out names and tells those people to step forward.  DaeHun.  JoKwon.  Swee Chi.

The soldier says these three have scored the lowest in the training and missions.  The fact that JoKwon makes it into 2am is the only reason I know they’re not about to be taken out back and shot.  I put nothing past this show.

But no. Their punishment is … they get to leave!  Granted, they’re being eliminated, but if it were me, I’d already be sprinting for the dock, yelling over my shoulder that I’d send for my things.

Everyone looks bummed.  I find it hard to empathize because I know JoKwon is coming back, and the other two didn’t seem to take any of this very seriously.  Plus, this show is making the same mistake Wild Idol did in the beginning.  We don’t really know any of these people.  I’ve researched some of the ones who I know will win, but if you were watching this show when it first aired, you’d find it hard to be invested in any of these guys, other than the ones you thought were cute.

Now I feel bad, because the three eliminated trainees are crying.  But again, Swee Chi was laughing when he ranked last in breakdancing.  Up to this point, I didn’t know if any of them were taking it seriously.  Jay Park didn’t cry when the doctor at the hospital told him his foot injury was too serious for him to stay on the show. 

The other trainees are also crying.  They ask if these three can be given another chance.  Now I’m wondering if anyone told them this was a survival reality show.  The only things we’ve heard said to them is that JYP was sick of their lazy attitudes and was sending them here to whip them into shape.  As a gift.

Now we learn that the viewers also voted for these three to be eliminated.  I had completely forgotten about the voting part, and it hasn’t been mentioned again until now.  Come to think of it, now that I’m looking through my notes, JoKwon came in third in the folksinging mission.  How is he being eliminated? 

The teammates are at the bargaining stage.  They ask if everyone can stay together until the end of the show and then do eliminations.  The soldier reminds them if they don’t do eliminations now, they’re the ones who might get cut in the future.  The decision stands.  These three need to start packing.

We get a long scene of everyone crying and hugging these three goodbye.  Then we get a title card that reads, “Hot Blood’s Hidden Story.”  It sounds like we’re finally going to get some background on something.  Anything.

We flash back to Episode 1, when the trainees were first introducing themselves to the Mnet crew.  We’re told that Mnet was impressed by Wooyoung (now in 2pm).  Now we flash back to see how Wooyoung stood out in the talent show and the breakdancing mission.

We see clips of Seulong (now in 2am), who also stood out.  He’s the one who sang “This Masquerade” at the introductions.  We’re told that Daehun (who just got eliminated) is like an older brother, a team pillar who is confident in singing.  (Why is he being eliminated, then?)

Chansung (2pm) has acting experience, which gives him confidence.  He’s also cute and very helpful with chores around the house.

We’re just racing through these Mnet notes.  I feel like we should have been told all this gradually over the past few episodes.  Jinwoon (2pm) is a shy kid with a great smile. He gets along well with the others.  Apparently, he’s the maknae.  He also has a strong singing voice.

Junsu (now known as Jun K in 2pm) was the one who did impressions.  We also now learn that he plays the keyboard.  Jay Park (2pm) is strong and self-disciplined.  

JoKwon (2am) is petite and “pale looking,” and he’s been a trainee for a very long time.  Ah.  Another fossil.  He nags at the others to keep the house clean.

Now for DooJun.  He loves hip hop.  I don’t think he makes it into the final groups.  He’s manly and enthusiastic.  He ranked high in singing.  (He did?  Okay, according to my notes, the subtitles in that episode spelled his name DuJoon.  I’ve noticed that the spellings of the names are inconsistent throughout these episodes.)

Taecyeon (2pm) loves to eat and get beaten up in the boxing ring.  No, wait – he got beaten up against his will.  The show is racing through the Mnet notes so fast, it’s hard to keep up.

Now for Khun.  The Mnet notes say he cannot speak fluent Korean, but he’s very cute and can melt people’s hearts.  We also watch him play keyboards.  Here, for the first time, he’s called “Prince Khun.”  He’s the handsome prince I wrote about in the introduction.  He has passion and a fighting spirit.  At this time, we don’t go into further detail about why he’s called a prince, so let’s put a pin in that for now.

On to Swee Chi, one of the eliminated trainees.  He’s cute as a puppy.  He’s great at acrobatics.  And … that’s it.  Moving on.

Next up is Junho, our 2pm dreamboat.  He looks a lot like Rain, a very very VERY famous K-pop singer/songwriter whose name I’ve heard mentioned often in these survival reality shows.  Rain is K-pop royalty.  He’s the Bruce Springsteen of K-pop.  Junho, we’ll learn later in this episode, is trying to overcome the constant comparisons to Rain and make people see him for who he is.

Finally, that seems to be it.  I need to stop and rest my notetaking hand.  Why are we getting all of this shoved at us in Episode 5, after we’ve just cut three people?

Mnet goes on to tell us that they’re not sure how the remaining trainees will endure the rest of their training.  Well, now that we know more about them and see them as people instead of lab mice in an experiment, we’re also wondering about that.  And wait, is Seulong officially back?  What about his foot?  I am so confused.

Back to the present.  It’s 11am, and the remaining trainees have just finished cleaning the house.  Now we get the ominous music again and are told, “There’s a man who is coming to look for the Hot Bloods.”  The way it’s filmed makes it look like one of the eliminated trainees is back for revenge.

We finally see who it is when the trainees gather on the beach to meet him.  It’s their new rapping coach.  His name is Mr. Typhoon.  Turns out there are several rappers and bands with that name from several different countries, so I couldn’t really dig up anything on him.  You’d think one of them would have trademarked the name.

Mr. Typhoon is here not only to coach them on rapping but on writing their own rap lyrics.  We’re told none of them have written their own rap lyrics before.  They start by studying one of Mr. Typhoon’s songs to get familiar with rhythm and flow.  They start rapping it together, and Junho and Junsu stand out for their style and skills.

They get an assignment:  write a 16-line rap on the topic “life on the island.”  They have one hour.  You know what?  I’ve never written rap lyrics either.  I’d like to try this assignment.  Give me one hour on the kitchen timer.

K-pop S.O.S.

I was minding my business in the training room
When JYP hit me like a typhoon

Now I’m jogging in the cold, tryna sing a folk song
No shirt, no shoes, need a lawyer, this is wrong 

Sometimes we can eat, sometimes they won’t let us
‘Cause we couldn’t find a scroll.  That really upset us. 

Gave our dinner to the crew, not allowed to question
They ate in front of us, hope they get indigestion. 

One minute it’s a talent show so we can form a band
Next thing we know, Junho’s throwing up in the sand. 

Don’t know when this torture is ever gonna cease
None of us remember even signing a release. 

They put us in a ring, boxing isn’t what we chose
Now TaecYeon can’t breathe ‘cause they broke his damn nose 

To all my Stateside boys, I’ve a warning to tell
If a scout says hi, turn and RUN LIKE HELL.

Okay, now let’s see if our trainees can beat that.  First up is Jay Park.  And now I see that the translators who posted these videos didn’t subtitle the Korean lyrics.  Well, that’s frustrating.  I do get some insight from Mr. Typhoon, who says he knows Jay Park lived in the US for a long time, but now he needs to learn to rap in a Korean accent.

We go through the rap performances one by one, all sounding great, but in Korean, so I don’t know what they’re saying.  Mr. Typhoon says JoKwon’s rhythm needs work.  Seulong lacks confidence.  The ones who don’t pass get sent back to do rewrites.

When it’s Khun’s turn, he raps in English.  He’s going really fast, and it’s hard to hear him over the music, but I got this snippet:

And in the past four days since I’ve been away,
Find myself in this damn place, I don’t know what to say
(something about being a trainee)

Not bad, Khun, but I like mine better.

More raps, more critiques, and one of them does melodic rapping, which I’ve already made my feelings clear about in the Wild Idol recaps.  Let’s move on before I start grinding my teeth again.

The rappers who were sent back return to try again.  Some pass, but others keep getting sent back.  I see Mr. Typhoon follows the Lia Kim method of coaching.  Khun struggles in his second round, losing track of the lyrics and having to start over.  The hours go by.  The sun starts to set.  The rappers who don’t pass try again and again.  This beat is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the year.

Finally, everyone passes.  Mr. Typhoon is impressed with everyone’s first attempts at writing lyrics.  Thank you, sir.  I’m rather proud of it myself. 

Join me next episode, when I won’t be attempting any other missions.  I have retired as a rap artist.

Episode 6:  The Few, The Proud, the Babbling Boys

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