BOSS RIIZE, Episode 12 (Finale): The Politics of BOSSing

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(Written October 4, 2024)

Welcome to the finale!  Time to find out who the BIG BOSS will be and then send these poor guys home so they can repair their damaged friendships.  Let’s do this.

We’re up to the Math category.  Already, my anxiety is kicking in.  But these are internal clock questions.  Without using a timer, they have to stand up when they feel it’s been 49 seconds.  You’d think it would be easy to just count it, but once they start, the crew starts yelling questions to distract them, like “What time did Eun Seok wake up today?”

Oooooh, this is MEAN.  For round two, the duration is 61 seconds.  After four rounds of this, So Hee is in the lead, having won a total of seven ballots so far.

Finally, the Research category.  A group of people in white raincoats walk a quick circle around the boys and then leave.  The boys are puzzled, but I’ve played this game before.  As soon as the people leave, the crew asks the band members questions about the people who just blew past them.  The first one:  Which one wasn’t a crew member?

Wow, this is awkward.  Even though the show claims to have a timeline of only two days, I know they had to have been filming longer than that, and the guys feel bad about not being able to remember everyone.  I am cringing.  

Only Won Bin and Shotaro get it right.  It’s Number Seven.  He’s the owner of the café.  Wrong guesses from the other band members include the show’s head writer and the guy who’s been driving them around for two days in the SUV.  I’m dying.

The crew members and café owner then run back around with words written on their palms.  The guys squint to read the words as the people run past.  Afterward, the crew asks the band what song the words were from.  Oh, no.  It’s another RIIZE song they won’t be able to identify, isn’t it?

The guys start jotting down the words and phrases they remember seeing.  Then they start arguing over which song it could be.  I know which song it could be.   I know this because I know the song.  The reason I know the song even though I don’t read Korean is because ONE OF THE PHRASES WAS WRITTEN IN ENGLISH.

Most of the band members get this question right, but Anton and Shotaro guess the wrong RIIZE song.  They are mercilessly mocked by the others, most of whom weren’t able to guess their own song on the Haunted Mission, so maybe those others should just zip it.

Okay, final tally.  Current neurotic BOSS Won Bin has nine ballots.  So Hee, eight.  Eun Seok, six.  Sung Chan, six.  Anton, six.  Shotaro, four.

But just having the ballots isn’t enough.  This time, the crew will vote as well.  And since most of the band didn’t recognize most of the crew, there might be some serious payback.

The boys do get to campaign first, appealing to ten crew members they didn’t recognize thirty minutes ago.  Eun Seok is up first.  His approach is bribery.  He promises to give amazing gifts to the crew if they will vote for him.  “Tell me whatever products you want,” says our shameless panderer.  “Using my own money, I will buy and give out a limited quantity of gifts.”  “What kind of gifts?” a crew member asks.  “Anything under 100,000 won,” he responds.  Woah.  So he’s potentially about to shell out $750 USD for those ten votes.  Then he walks it back to under 50,000 won.

Won Bin thanks everyone for their hard work over what has allegedly been two long days of filming.  He offers to buy them all coffee right now.  Only the café owner applauds, which makes me laugh.  The other crew members seem to be holding out for Eun Seok’s bribe.

Anton appeals to their emotions.  He reminds them of how he ran into the ocean on Day One.  He tells them he’s worked so hard, but unfortunately, things have not turned out well for him.  He’s never been the BOSS.  He had to harvest snails for his vegan breakfast.  It’s been a lot.  He’s trying to get the sympathy vote.

Now for So Hee.  He thanks the crew.  He reminds them of how the band bought ice cream for the crew the day before.  (“I paid for that!” Eun Seok protests.  “Yeah, but it was my idea!” argues So Hee.)

Sung Chan and Shotaro fight to speak next.  They finally play Rock Paper Scissor for it.  Shotaro loses on the third round.  He needs to stop playing this game.  

Sung Chan tells the crew he knows how tired they must be, so he sings and dances for them.  Granted, it’s impressive choreography, but it’s not a 50,000 won bribe.  He does get what sounds like the loudest applause yet.

Finally, Shotaro.  Won Bin is already taking off the laurel and preparing to lose.

Shotaro looks to the future.  He promises he’ll cook for all of them in Season Two.  Wait, we’re getting a Season TWO?  And isn’t Shotaro one of the band members who can’t cook?  (reading my own recaps)  Yes.  Yes he is.

He also offers to do aegyo for them right now.  What follows is best left in the past. 

We shall never speak of this again.

Won Bin’s sign reads “I have no hope.”

The crew lines up to vote.  Then our bandmates bring all their awarded ballots into the booth and cast their votes.  I think they can only vote for one person per ballot now.  Once the voting is done, the crew announces they will count the ballots out loud in front of everyone.

The votes are piling up for Eun Seok.  Did his bribe really work?  Not exactly.  In a flashback, we learn that Eun Seok promised Shotaro he’d treat him well if Shotaro cast his four ballots for him.  And after every lie, every betrayal, after EVERYTHING, Shotaro agreed.

Back to the present.  The other bandmates can’t believe Shotaro fell for it again.  Even Shotaro knows he messed up.

But then Anton gets six votes.  Turns out those are his own.  The crews’ votes start piling up for other members.  Suddenly, Won Bin, Eun Seok, and Sung Chan are all tied at ten votes, and there are a few left to count.

When all the votes are counted, the BIG BOSS is…. Sung Chan!

As the winner, Sung Chan’s grand prize is a Korean Beef Set.  At least fifty percent fat, from the looks of it.  Won Bin also hands him the laurel and stamp and all the other BOSS doodads.

The crew says the money left in the budget will be saved for next season.  Okay, really?  I can’t find anything online about a Season Two, not even from those on Reddit who claim to be insiders.  But the crew seems to think this will be a thing, as Sung Chan also gets to decide where they’re going next time.

It looks like the end of the episode, but suddenly we get the successful coup music.  Wait, what?

Yes, the crew announces that one of the band members has staged a successful coup.  It’s Eun Seok, isn’t it?  It has to be Eun Seok.

Nope.  It was Sung Chan.  Before the voting, he asked for and completed a mission coup, not imagining he was going to win.  The mission was to take a selfie with the other band members.

And since idols are always taking selfies and posing for pictures, no one suspected a thing.  This is a really funny ending, and I don’t care if it’s scripted.

This means that Sung Chan is no longer the BIG BOSS, since he overthrew himself.  He gets to keep the beef set, though.  All five thousand calories of it.

The epilogue is B Roll footage, which is fun to watch, and then the series officially ends.

So this was a cool little show.  I can’t really see myself recapping a Season Two unless Seunghan comes back.  In the meantime, thanks to the viewers who commented, even if you were rooting for the WRONG band member. 

As for the rest of you, I’ll see you all over in the I-Land recaps, currently in progress.

BOSS RIIZE update – Welcome back, Seunghan!

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BOSS RIIZE, Episode 8: Profiles in Semi-Courage

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(Written September 24, 2024)

We’re starting off with an apology from me.  These are going to be awful screenshots, so you won’t be getting a lot of them.  This entire episode takes place outside at night while our RIIZE guys run around a haunted village with only their lanterns for light.  But it should still be good episode, as we see if any of these guys can complete all three missions and win five ballots.  Let’s do this.

We open back at the café, where Won Bin has returned safely after completing two of the three missions.  It looks like Anton is next.

Won Bin was scared when he walked through the village.  Anton is downright petrified.  He’s too frazzled to follow the path and gets lost in the dark.  The cameras are having trouble following him.  I do give him points for muttering, “If anyone pops out, I’m going to hit them with my lamp.”  Atta boy.  Now to get to the Missing Shoe Mission and show Won Bin how it’s done.

Except that he doesn’t.  He’s so busy looking for ghosts to clobber with his lantern, he walks right past the Shoe Mission site.  Anton, my guy, did Won Bin actually do BETTER than you on that mission just by showing up?  Yep.  Anton breezes right past it and goes on to Mission 2.  I just can’t with these guys.

Now for the “Guess the Song” Ghost waiting for him on the path.  Anton takes one look at him, screams, and runs.  Maybe he’ll at least find his way back to the Missing Shoe Mission. 

Nope.  Anton doesn’t even make it to the sauna to play Rock Paper Scissors with the chick from The Ring.  He just races back to the café at top speed.  The poor guy will never live this down. 

So Hee decides enough is enough.  He has spent the whole day on the losing water sports team and has not won any ballots.  He’s going to face whatever’s out there.  I’m impressed – he’s walking quickly and purposefully, looking for the mission sites.  He makes it to the Missing Shoe site in record time.  He is truly BOSS material.  Why was he overthrown in the first place?

He reads the instructions, sees the clay pots, realizes the missing shoe must be in one of the clay pots, opens the first clay pot and finds the shoe, and puts it with the other shoe.  Mission accomplished.  Seriously, WHY isn’t he still the BOSS?

So Hee decides to pick up the pace and starts jogging.  He slows to a walk when he sees the Music Ghost but keeps moving forward.  Here’s where I learned an interesting cultural thing.  The ghost is making a “shoo, go away” gesture with his hand, but in Korea, that gesture means, “come here.”  I kept wondering why Won Bin was approaching this ghost when it was clearly gesturing at him to piss off.

So Hee thinks the ghost is just there to slow him down, so he tries to walk past, but the ghost takes his arm and pulls him back.  Instead of freaking out, So Hee laughs at himself when he realizes this is the second mission.

What happens next is pretty amazing.  The Music Ghost plays the slowed-down song, and So Hee concentrates, listening for the lyrics.  The ghost seems disappointed that So Hee doesn’t seem the slightest bit scared of him, so he suddenly shrieks right in his face.  So Hee barely notices.  He half-smiles at the ghost, like he’s saying, “Yes, I see that.  Nicely done,” and keeps concentrating on the song.  I am in total awe of So Hee.  He is the biggest badass in RIIZE.

What’s even funnier is that he’s struggling to identify the lyrics to his own group’s song, “Siren.”  He finally realizes he’s running out of time and gives up, moving on to the third mission site.

He goes into the sauna and waits.  The chick from The Ring springs up on him … and he can’t help laughing.  I am loving this.  The chick is so bummed, she just kind of flops onto the bench across from him and starts the game.  After a couple of rounds, he wins and leaves the sauna.

He makes it back to the café, and the others are a little surprised that he’s laughing.  Sung Chan has been a nervous wreck, waiting for his turn while listening to Anton talk about how scary it is out there, and now he’s just confused.  He decides to just get it over with.  He gives himself a pep talk, grabs the lantern, and stops at the door because he’s too afraid to go any further. 

He finally makes it outside and stumbles down the path, holding his lamp over his head in case he needs to use it as a weapon.  He freaks out when he runs into a member of the camera crew.  He finally decides he wants to give up.  But he’s frozen in fear, unable to keep going and unable to run back to his bandmates.  

Back at the café, the other members are wondering if they should send someone out there to look for Sung Chan.  Anton, of all people, decides to brave the darkness to look for his bandmate.  He doesn’t even have a lantern because Sung Chan took the only one with him.  Fortunately, when Anton gets outside, he sees the light from Sung Chan’s lantern and runs after him.  They join forces and inch along the path together, jumping at every little sound.

Sung Chan suggests they try the first challenge together.  In response, Anton, his brother in the band, one of his best friends in the world, takes off running back to the café, leaving him behind in the dust.  I repeat, ANTON LEAVES HIS BANDMATE BEHIND ON THE SCARY PATH IN THE DARK.  I can’t wait for RIIZE’s next hit single, “Get a Guitar (So I Can Smash it Over Anton’s Stupid Head).”

To his enormous credit, Sung Chan makes his way to the Missing Shoe site alone.  I am really pulling for him.  But he loses his nerve after reading the instructions, and a camera operator has to lead him back to the café.

We see the scores so far.  Won Bin and So Hee have each accomplished two missions, and Anton and Sung Chan have soaked two pairs of pants.  Despite getting one mission wrong, I think So Hee is far and away the winner here.  We don’t know yet what each person’s time is, but I really hope he wins.  

Sung Chan walks triumphantly into the café and says, “Success!”  No one is buying it.  Plus, Anton’s sitting right there.  I wondered how he explained abandoning his bandmate to the rest of the group.

Next up is Eun Seok.  He’s been sneaky and mean all season and really needs to prove himself here.  He grabs the lantern and heads out into the darkness, telling us he loves this kind of thing.  We’ll see.

He heads right over to the Shoe Challenge, reads the instructions, and starts looking for the missing shoe.  He finds it in the second jar he checks.  I’ll admit, I’m impressed.  Let’s see if he can be the first to nail all three missions.

Like So Hee, he’s jogging to save time.  He jogs fearlessly up to the Music Ghost.  Let’s see if he can recognize his own group’s song.  Aaaand he can’t.  The ghost, probably fed up at this point, says he’ll give him a clue if he’ll do aegyo into the camera.  I love seeing Eun Seok reduced to doing a baby voice and cute little gestures right into the camera.  Then he turns back to the ghost for his clue.

I really wish I could get a good screenshot of what happens next.  The ghost does some of the dance steps from the song’s music video.  “Siren” has some of the most insanely complicated choreography I’ve ever seen, and the ghost can only do a few clumsy steps, so I can’t imagine this is helpful in any way to Eun Seok.  When the ghost is done, Eun Seok looks even more puzzled and says, “I think it’s K-pop?”  Call me a ghost, ‘cause I am DEAD.

He finally gives up and runs to the sauna.  He’s so impatient to finish at this point, he doesn’t really react to the Ring Ghost.  They keep playing until he finally wins.  He runs back to the café at top speed, knowing he lost a lot of time on the second mission.

Now it’s the BOSS’ turn.  Shotaro is nervous as he walks along the path, but he’s hanging in there.  He gets to the Shoe Thing and solves it pretty quickly.  Then he walks bravely up to the Music Ghost, who is probably ready to call it a day at this point.  

The slowed-down song starts playing.  We find out in a flashback that Eun Seok had already told him it was a RIIZE song.  I’m guessing Won Bin spilled the beans, since he’s the only one who’s gotten it right so far.  And Shotaro STILL can’t figure out which song it is.  He asks for a hint.  The ghost demands to see some dance moves first, so Shotaro does some choreo on the spot.

The ghost then starts humming the melody for the “Siren” chorus, which doesn’t really help because the chorus is kind of yelled instead of sung, so it’s like trying to hum the melody of a sports cheer.  Shotaro finally gives up and moves on.  No one in the band will accomplish all three missions.

At the sauna, he’s a little freaked out by the Ring ghost, but he stays and plays the game.  He keeps losing over and over.  The poor ghost girl is TRYING to get him to win, and he just keeps losing.  I imagine when this is over, she and the Music Ghost are going to find the nearest bar and get plastered.  She’ll keep challenging the other patrons to Rock Paper Scissors, and he’ll keep muttering into his drink, “I can’t believe my kids like this group.”

FINALLY Shotaro wins and runs back to the café.  And the episode ends here.  We’ll have to wait yet one more episode to see who won and then who becomes the next BOSS.  And then I imagine SM Entertainment will watch this footage and fire the group for not being able to recognize their own song.  See you then!

 

Episode 9:  The Great RIIZE Betrayal

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BOSS RIIZE, Episode 3: The Riize of a Tyrant

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(Written September 17, 2024)

Welcome back!  When we left our RIIZE guys, So Hee had been overthrown in a successful coup by Won Bin, and voting was about to begin.  What was So Hee’s crime?  No idea.  But Eun Seok is being set up as our plotting villain, so let’s see if he turns out to be the next BOSS.

We open where we left off at the restaurant/someone’s house, and the voting booth has been moved right into the room with them.  Eun Seok tells So Hee that he could be re-elected as BOSS.  I sure hope so, because So Hee’s response is to look heavenward and say, “Being nice gets you nowhere.”  If he returns to the throne, he will be out for revenge, and I am 100% here for it.

Shotaro is already sucking up to Won Bin, saying, “Remember I wiped seaweed soup off your face earlier?”  He also tells Anton he loves him.  Meanwhile, Eun Seok simply leans over to So Hee and murmurs, “I will avenge you.”  NOW this show is getting good.

In the voting booth, Sung Chan vows revenge as he casts his vote.  “Won Bin and I endured so many requests and hardships,” he says.  Dude.  He had you put away the beach stuff.  It was a task that would have taken the two of you ten minutes if you weren’t so busy complaining and plotting a coup.  But he’s not done.  “Won Bin and I shall become the BOSS,” he declares to the camera in the voting booth. “We shall take revenge on them.”  Are we missing some footage where So Hee forces the workers to do his laundry and handle his fan calls?

Eun Seok is still scheming with Anton, saying, “Vote for me, and I’ll vote for you.”  Anton is smart.  “I don’t trust you,” he responds.

During the voting, everyone keeps mukbanging, and the food looks so good.  Anton is taking pictures of some of the foods he’s never had before, like crab shell fried rice.  I just want to crawl through the screen and taste it.

While the votes are being counted by the crew, the boys all agree it will be bad for everyone if Eun Seok wins.  They say this with Eun Seok right there at the table.  You’re not doing a good job as a villain if everyone is on to you and not afraid to say it to your face.  “I’m a peaceful person,” he insists, in between bouts of conspiratorial whispering.

The production crew finally announces there’s a glitch.  One of the boys only voted for one person instead of two.  It was one vote for Eun Seok.  So that ballot has been marked VOID.  Wait, what?  That ballot doesn’t count because it only had one vote on it?  I mean, we all know it was Eun Seok’s ballot, but still, this feels kind of disenfranchisey.  

Okay, we quickly learn two things.  One, the person with the voided ballot will get to vote again.  Two, the guilty party is not Eun Seok.  It’s Shotaro.  The oldest member and de facto Leader just gave himself away as a Eun Seok sympathizer.  The funniest part is that the rest of the group assumes that this part will get edited out, but nope.  They left it in.  The producers of this show are VICIOUS.

Shotaro casts a new ballot, and the winner is … Eun Seok.  A new day has dawned in K-pop Land, and it is a dark, cloudy day.

Anton is already regretting telling the new BOSS he didn’t trust him.  Everyone immediately starts sucking up to Eun Seok, and I know we’re about to see the new BOSS commit acts of cruelty that will make Game of Thrones look like Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.

So Hee hands over the laurel, the seal, and what’s left of the money and his dignity.  The crew tells the group that each new BOSS gets 100,000 won ($75 USD) added to the budget.  But that’s only when the BOSS changes.  Which is incentive for the group not to vote for the same guy twice.  These showrunners are sneaky.

We’re off to a rough start when Eun Seok makes So Hee hold the appointment letter while he stamps it.  So Hee says the new BOSS is beaming a dark aura.  The graphics department decides to illustrate this by superimposing a black mist around Eun Seok, giving the unintended impression that he hasn’t showered in a week.

Anton, who really needs to keep his mouth shut, says the new workers need to be chosen.  Shotaro advises Eun Seok not to treat the workers poorly because he might regret it.  He’s not wrong, but being nice would make for a boring show.  Everyone knew what they were in for when they entered that voting booth.  As if to prove my point, Eun Seok suddenly says, “Water,” and everyone scrambles to get him water.  Oh, this is going to be FUN.

The new BOSS dictates that no more sodas can be ordered tonight, as that will take more money out of the budget.  Everyone must drink water for the rest of the meal, which I imagine is perfectly fine because they’ve been eating for almost an entire episode and must be on the verge of food comas by now.

On to choosing the workers.  Anton suggests that Eun Seok first find out who voted for him, like for example, himself.  Eun Seok simply says, “thank you,” and keeps eating.  I actually felt a shiver go through me.  Anton’s going to find himself cleaning the tour bus with his tongue if he doesn’t zip it.

The new BOSS issues a command:  “Make me laugh.  I’ll exempt the three people who make me laugh.”  When no one volunteers right away, he says quietly, “I’m ready to laugh.”  I’m pretty sure I hear the others whimpering.

Out of desperation, Sung Chan grabs a flower off the table and strikes a flirty pose.  This gets a laugh from Eun Seok.  Sung Chan is now safe.  Two more band members now have to play court jester.

Shotaro starts talking in a strange voice, and no one can figure out what he’s doing at first.  Then everyone realizes he’s imitating Eun Seok, and that earns a laugh from the BOSS.

There’s only one free pass left.  So Hee impulsively grabs a stone from the flower arrangement on the table and starts talking to it like it’s Eun Seok.  (“Seok” means “stone” in Korean.)  This gets the biggest laugh from the crew, but the new BOSS just gives him an icy stare.

I can’t believe that didn’t work.  I know one of the reasons Eun Seok won the vote was by vowing to avenge So Hee’s defeat.  And now he’s betraying that very bandmate, and you just know So Hee voted for him.  I might be genuinely afraid of Eun Seok right now.  He’s going to wind up overthrowing the entire management team at SM Entertainment by the end of this episode.

Anton makes a heart shape with his hands and starts doing aegyo.  He gets a colder reaction than So Hee did.  Oof.  This is PAINFUL.

Won Bin starts making some weird grunting noise and lunges at Eun Seok.  What looks like an assassination attempt is actually his impression of Eun Seok doing martial arts.  This performance gets the coldest stare yet.  Won Bin, I know you’re my bias, but you would have been better off just volunteering to be a worker.

 Eun Seok looks down at the table and says, “I’m getting bored.”  He finally tells the three losers to play Rock Paper Scissors for the exemption.  Won Bin wins.  Anton and our poor, sweet So Hee are the workers.  Anton looks anguished, and NOW Eun Seok laughs.  I’m starting to think he’s pure evil. 

The new BOSS demands that his workers stay seated until he is ready to stand up.  When he does stand, he says the table is a mess.  So Hee points out that they’re (allegedly) in a restaurant, so they shouldn’t have to clean up.  Eun Seok says the mess is still bothering him and orders the workers to stack the cups neatly.

We get confessionals from So Hee and Anton about how they’ve been betrayed.  I have a feeling the next coup will end with that laurel wrapped tightly around Eun Seok’s neck. 

We now cut to outside the restaurant to the huge, shiny RIIZE SUV.  We’re shown the perks inside waiting for the BOSS – a neck pillow, snacks, and a wrapped present in the seat.  Eun Seok makes his workers sit in the very back and then reclines his seat until he’s squashing them.  I have no words. 

The rest of the band is fascinated by the cameras set up in the SUV.  I’m so used to car cams on these shows, and this is the first time I’ve seen the idols actually reacting to them.  These guys are adorable.

The SUV drives on through some lovely coastal scenery.  Then they drive up into the mountains and arrive at Gangneung Solhyang Arboretum, the only pine-themed arboretum in South Korea.  It must smell like heaven.  I know I’m going to get some beautiful screenshots out of this.  Everyone hops out of the SUV to explore. 

The first stop is to a snack bar.  The guys beg the new BOSS to let them have coffee, and he tells them, “You had coffee earlier.”  I know caffeine addicts who would murder him right there in the parking lot.

Anton is eager to get on the trails.  He tells us when he lived in the States, he spent a lot of time in the woods.  I love this place and will let the screenshots speak for themselves.

But of course, we can’t enjoy the peace for too long.  Eun Seok gets tired and demands to be carried.  Anton struggles along the path with Eun Seok on his back.  My prediction of a sedan chair wasn’t too far off.

The boys finally arrive at a seat labeled “BOSS,” and Anton heaves the BOSS into it.  Now we see the first hopeful sign that Eun Seok’s cruel reign may be coming to an end.  The crew tells our band the arboretum hides a suitcase with twenty ballots in it.  The guys have thirty minutes to find the suitcase.  The first member to find it and bring it back to base camp will be the owner of all the ballots.  The BOSS gets the advantage of a 30-second head start, which I can’t imagine will be much help in this huge park.

The episode ends here.  I predict that Eun Seok will use his thirty seconds to form an army of woodland creatures to overthrow the entire band and begin a dark, authoritarian chapter in the history of RIIZE.  Gloom and despair will fall across the arboretum.  All hope will be lost.

Should be fun!  I can’t wait.  See you then.

Episode 4:  The Great Ballot War

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