BOSS RIIZE, Episode 12 (Finale): The Politics of BOSSing

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(Written October 4, 2024)

Welcome to the finale!  Time to find out who the BIG BOSS will be and then send these poor guys home so they can repair their damaged friendships.  Let’s do this.

We’re up to the Math category.  Already, my anxiety is kicking in.  But these are internal clock questions.  Without using a timer, they have to stand up when they feel it’s been 49 seconds.  You’d think it would be easy to just count it, but once they start, the crew starts yelling questions to distract them, like “What time did Eun Seok wake up today?”

Oooooh, this is MEAN.  For round two, the duration is 61 seconds.  After four rounds of this, So Hee is in the lead, having won a total of seven ballots so far.

Finally, the Research category.  A group of people in white raincoats walk a quick circle around the boys and then leave.  The boys are puzzled, but I’ve played this game before.  As soon as the people leave, the crew asks the band members questions about the people who just blew past them.  The first one:  Which one wasn’t a crew member?

Wow, this is awkward.  Even though the show claims to have a timeline of only two days, I know they had to have been filming longer than that, and the guys feel bad about not being able to remember everyone.  I am cringing.  

Only Won Bin and Shotaro get it right.  It’s Number Seven.  He’s the owner of the café.  Wrong guesses from the other band members include the show’s head writer and the guy who’s been driving them around for two days in the SUV.  I’m dying.

The crew members and café owner then run back around with words written on their palms.  The guys squint to read the words as the people run past.  Afterward, the crew asks the band what song the words were from.  Oh, no.  It’s another RIIZE song they won’t be able to identify, isn’t it?

The guys start jotting down the words and phrases they remember seeing.  Then they start arguing over which song it could be.  I know which song it could be.   I know this because I know the song.  The reason I know the song even though I don’t read Korean is because ONE OF THE PHRASES WAS WRITTEN IN ENGLISH.

Most of the band members get this question right, but Anton and Shotaro guess the wrong RIIZE song.  They are mercilessly mocked by the others, most of whom weren’t able to guess their own song on the Haunted Mission, so maybe those others should just zip it.

Okay, final tally.  Current neurotic BOSS Won Bin has nine ballots.  So Hee, eight.  Eun Seok, six.  Sung Chan, six.  Anton, six.  Shotaro, four.

But just having the ballots isn’t enough.  This time, the crew will vote as well.  And since most of the band didn’t recognize most of the crew, there might be some serious payback.

The boys do get to campaign first, appealing to ten crew members they didn’t recognize thirty minutes ago.  Eun Seok is up first.  His approach is bribery.  He promises to give amazing gifts to the crew if they will vote for him.  “Tell me whatever products you want,” says our shameless panderer.  “Using my own money, I will buy and give out a limited quantity of gifts.”  “What kind of gifts?” a crew member asks.  “Anything under 100,000 won,” he responds.  Woah.  So he’s potentially about to shell out $750 USD for those ten votes.  Then he walks it back to under 50,000 won.

Won Bin thanks everyone for their hard work over what has allegedly been two long days of filming.  He offers to buy them all coffee right now.  Only the café owner applauds, which makes me laugh.  The other crew members seem to be holding out for Eun Seok’s bribe.

Anton appeals to their emotions.  He reminds them of how he ran into the ocean on Day One.  He tells them he’s worked so hard, but unfortunately, things have not turned out well for him.  He’s never been the BOSS.  He had to harvest snails for his vegan breakfast.  It’s been a lot.  He’s trying to get the sympathy vote.

Now for So Hee.  He thanks the crew.  He reminds them of how the band bought ice cream for the crew the day before.  (“I paid for that!” Eun Seok protests.  “Yeah, but it was my idea!” argues So Hee.)

Sung Chan and Shotaro fight to speak next.  They finally play Rock Paper Scissor for it.  Shotaro loses on the third round.  He needs to stop playing this game.  

Sung Chan tells the crew he knows how tired they must be, so he sings and dances for them.  Granted, it’s impressive choreography, but it’s not a 50,000 won bribe.  He does get what sounds like the loudest applause yet.

Finally, Shotaro.  Won Bin is already taking off the laurel and preparing to lose.

Shotaro looks to the future.  He promises he’ll cook for all of them in Season Two.  Wait, we’re getting a Season TWO?  And isn’t Shotaro one of the band members who can’t cook?  (reading my own recaps)  Yes.  Yes he is.

He also offers to do aegyo for them right now.  What follows is best left in the past. 

We shall never speak of this again.

Won Bin’s sign reads “I have no hope.”

The crew lines up to vote.  Then our bandmates bring all their awarded ballots into the booth and cast their votes.  I think they can only vote for one person per ballot now.  Once the voting is done, the crew announces they will count the ballots out loud in front of everyone.

The votes are piling up for Eun Seok.  Did his bribe really work?  Not exactly.  In a flashback, we learn that Eun Seok promised Shotaro he’d treat him well if Shotaro cast his four ballots for him.  And after every lie, every betrayal, after EVERYTHING, Shotaro agreed.

Back to the present.  The other bandmates can’t believe Shotaro fell for it again.  Even Shotaro knows he messed up.

But then Anton gets six votes.  Turns out those are his own.  The crews’ votes start piling up for other members.  Suddenly, Won Bin, Eun Seok, and Sung Chan are all tied at ten votes, and there are a few left to count.

When all the votes are counted, the BIG BOSS is…. Sung Chan!

As the winner, Sung Chan’s grand prize is a Korean Beef Set.  At least fifty percent fat, from the looks of it.  Won Bin also hands him the laurel and stamp and all the other BOSS doodads.

The crew says the money left in the budget will be saved for next season.  Okay, really?  I can’t find anything online about a Season Two, not even from those on Reddit who claim to be insiders.  But the crew seems to think this will be a thing, as Sung Chan also gets to decide where they’re going next time.

It looks like the end of the episode, but suddenly we get the successful coup music.  Wait, what?

Yes, the crew announces that one of the band members has staged a successful coup.  It’s Eun Seok, isn’t it?  It has to be Eun Seok.

Nope.  It was Sung Chan.  Before the voting, he asked for and completed a mission coup, not imagining he was going to win.  The mission was to take a selfie with the other band members.

And since idols are always taking selfies and posing for pictures, no one suspected a thing.  This is a really funny ending, and I don’t care if it’s scripted.

This means that Sung Chan is no longer the BIG BOSS, since he overthrew himself.  He gets to keep the beef set, though.  All five thousand calories of it.

The epilogue is B Roll footage, which is fun to watch, and then the series officially ends.

So this was a cool little show.  I can’t really see myself recapping a Season Two unless Seunghan comes back.  In the meantime, thanks to the viewers who commented, even if you were rooting for the WRONG band member. 

As for the rest of you, I’ll see you all over in the I-Land recaps, currently in progress.

BOSS RIIZE update – Welcome back, Seunghan!

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BOSS RIIZE, Episode 11: The Madness of King Won Bin

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(Written October 4, 2024)

We are BACK, baby!  And since I’ve been caught up in Enhypen World with the I-Land recaps, let me get caught up on what we’ve covered in this series.

• So Hee has been the best BOSS so far.
  
  
• Anton can swim.
  
  
• Eun Seok is not to be trusted.
  
  
• There’s a LOT of Korean mukbang on this show.
  
  
• Car cams are fun.
  
  
• Three out of six RIIZE members can’t identify their own song “Siren” when it’s been slowed down.  (Two members never even made it that far and got disqualified.)
  
  
• Snails and eggs are vegan now.
  
  
• Won Bin is the current BOSS.  Anton is the only one who hasn’t been the BOSS.

Let’s do this.

Our band seems to be done with swimming and have hopped into the SUV to get lunch.  Won Bin is suspicious of everything his bandmates say, wondering if they’re trying to stage a coup.  Shotaro suggests a Word Relay, and Won Bin suggests he stuff a sock in it.  “It’s obviously a mission coup,” says the wise So Hee, half asleep in the back row of seats.

The others start suggesting games just to watch Won Bin have a nervous breakdown.  Eun Seok, who is the sole worker under Won Bin’s regime, is really enjoying this. 

We arrive at a cute little restaurant.  Must be mukbang time.  We get close-ups of boiled duck and side dishes.  Everything is shot like food porn.  The text on the screen even describes the food in vaguely sexual terms:  “Fleshy meat and sticky rice that look so tender.”  I need an adult.

Once they are seated, the crew tells them they need to check the budget first.  Apparently there was a “water sports experience fee” of 50,000 won.  The snacks they had at the creek also cost them.  That, plus the current meal, takes 250,000 won out of the budget.  They only have 50,000 won left.  Win Bin is not a financially savvy BOSS.

Now for a long segment of everyone eating.  We zoom in on them as they chew, swallow, and savor.  It’s kind of fascinating how good they are with chopsticks.  I’m a little clumsy using wooden chopsticks for sushi, but I’m useless with chopsticks for all other meals.  These guys can even use them to assemble lettuce wraps.  

But Won Bin is having trouble enjoying his food because he’s waiting to hear the music signifying a successful coup.  He looks around for the voting booth.  He’s too stressed out to enjoy his own regime.  The others are still suggesting games and laughing at his twitchy responses.  If the mission coup is to drive Won Bin insane, it’s working.  Won Bin even thinks Eun Seok is trying to pull out his hair, so now he’s sitting with his back pressed against a support pole.

Suddenly, the crew tells them the BOSS has correctly guessed a mission coup, so the coup failed.  Yes, Eun Seok was trying to pull several strands of Won Bin’s hair.  

You’re right, Melissa, but it’s also an unfair thing for Won Bin.  The point of a coup is to try to trick the BOSS into saying or doing something, not just attack him by pulling at his hair.

Won Bin says now that they’re done eating, they’re going to drive away and leave Eun Seok behind.  

Why are the viewer comments on Eun Seok’s side?  I don’t get it.  Did he make alliances with the viewers, too?

They all leave the restaurant and arrive at the beach.  This place is gorgeous.  They stop at a café to get dessert and wind up ordering Hajodae Coffee, which is a specialty brand, like ordering Starbucks.  It’s not cheap.  They also get croissants and cookies because Won Bin appears to be worse with money than I am.

They sit outside the café and talk about other trips they’d like to take, like Won Bin’s hometown of Ulsan, or New York City during Christmas.  Now I’m paranoid because I’m wondering if this is part of a coup.  Then Shotaro playfully tries to kiss Won Bin on the cheek, and Won Bin demands to know if it’s a coup.  We’re all losing our minds.

Or maybe not.  We get a quick flashback to the restaurant after lunch, when both Shotaro and Eun Seok request and receive mission coups.  Shotaro does indeed have to try to snuggle with Won Bin.  Since Won Bin called it immediately, the coup failed.

Eun Seok’s second mission was to get the BOSS stamp on his hand, but Won Bin is at the point where he’s not letting anyone touch him.  He threatens to punish anyone who gets into his personal space.  Eun Seok gives up on his mission.

Everyone starts teasing Anton about being the only one who hasn’t been BOSS yet.  But the teasing stops when the crew tells them this is the last day of the trip, so they will have an election to choose the final BIG BOSS. I really think Won Bin should be removed from power before he goes insane and locks himself in the café bathroom, screaming for everyone to leave him alone.

The crew prepares for the 2024 BIG BOSS test.  They will be tested in the Korean language (especially challenging for Anton and Shotaro), Sensibility (Won Bin is losing his), Math, and Research, whatever that is.  For every question they answer correctly, they get a ballot.  As the current BOSS, Won Bin gets to assign each band member to a subject.  Or a chair.  The translations are not very clear.

They go through the questions, and I don’t understand most of them because you have to understand Korean and the culture to get most of it.  We do get one cool question under the “Sensibility” topic:

Q:  What is one before you eat but two after you eat?
A:  Wooden chopsticks.

The episode ends here, halfway through the test.  Sung Chan has won two ballots.  Anton, Won Bin, and So Hee each have one.  Eun Seok and Shotaro have none.

For our final episode, I want banished member Seunghan to return and become the final BOSS.  Come on, SM Entertainment.  Imagine the ratings.

Fingers crossed for the last episode.

Episode 12 (Finale):  The Politics of BOSSing

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BOSS RIIZE, Episode 10: The semi-vengeful, kinda-mean-but-not-really Rule of BOSS 5

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(Written September 28, 2024)

We are back.  Tensions are high.  Snails are cooking.  For breakfast.  Grab some Pepto-Bismol and let’s power through this.

The first words we hear are from Won Bin:  “I’m dreaming of a coup.”  THAT’S how you kick off an episode. 

Everyone arrives at the barbecue area for breakfast.  BOSS Sung Chan commands, “Bring the food now.”  Chef Anton announces the meal of bibimbap and snail soup.  He and Shotaro start prepping the ingredients while Eun Seok gripes, “So all you’ve done so far is catch the snails?”  Is he always like this?  Even when he’s not on this show?

Anton and Shotaro figure out how to cook the recipes they’ve pulled up on their phones.  They’re having such a hard time of it, the BOSS has to help.  Eun Seok actually helps peel potatoes.  “You should have just made scrambled eggs, not this,” he grumbles.  Wait, scrambled eggs were an option?  We can see a dozen eggs sitting on the table with the other ingredients.  What the hell, you guys?

“Today’s breakfast is vegan,” says Anton, who is currently preparing a meal with snails in it.  “Good idea.  We had a lot of meat yesterday,” Sung Chan says without a trace of sarcasm, while I bang my forehead on my desk.

Anton has to pull out his phone again to look up how to chop a zucchini.  Eun Seok gives up and starts making the bibimbap himself.  The others start frying eggs for this vegan meal.

Time for more Korean mukbang.  Everyone enjoys a huge breakfast, even though it must be late afternoon by now.  We don’t get an extended eating scene this time because the drums and dramatic music start playing.  Someone has successfully pulled off a coup!  The crew announces another election will be held.  Sung Chan has only been the BOSS for about 12 hours, and he spent most of that time sleeping. 

We find out the culprit was Shotaro.  Before breakfast, he went straight to the crew and said he wanted a Mission Coup.  I can’t believe it wasn’t Won Bin.  Shotaro’s mission was to make the BOSS say the title of a drama or film at least three times.

We get flashbacks showing the awkward conversations Shotaro had to start to get this to happen, and the fact that Sung Chan never catches on tells me he deserves to be overthrown.  Eun Seok doesn’t catch on either, although he does ask if the Mission Coup is making the BOSS prep the ingredients.

The voting booth is set up next to the table.  Eun Seok’s eyes are darting around the table, wondering if he can set up an instant alliance.  Dude, I’ll be shocked if anyone trusts you again.  But he still tries.  He tells So Hee that he’ll be exempt from being a worker in exchange for his vote.  So Hee knows better than to commit.

We zoom in on Anton and Won Bin, neither of whom has been BOSS yet.  No time for them to negotiate.  Voting is starting.  Won Bin says he’s desperate for revenge against Eun Seok.  Then dude, why didn’t you stage the coup?  What an embarrassing bias you turned out to be.  So Hee even tells him, “If you don’t get it this time, just give up.”  Not only should So Hee be the BOSS again, he should be Leader of the group.  Won Bin says he doesn’t care as long as Eun Seok doesn’t get it.  There’s some serious bad blood here.

The crew announces the winner, who got six votes.  Everyone voted for him.  It’s … Won Bin.  I don’t know how, especially since Shotaro staged the coup in the first place, but fine.  It should be fun to watch him take his revenge.  He signs his letter and gets the budget, which now totals 300,000 won ($229 USD) because Sung Chan didn’t have time to spend any money.

“Yesterday’s sorrow will be released today,” says Won Bin.  He immediately turns to the job of selecting the workers.  Eun Seok can’t even look him in the eye.  But according to the crew, Eun Seok did vote for him.  He had to know this would happen.  His motives make no sense.  I’m guessing the crew rigged this election because everyone in the group has to be BOSS at least once.

Won Bin decrees that Eun Seok will be the only worker.  WOW.  I kind of like this petty look on Won Bin.  Eun Seok’s first task is to clean up breakfast by himself.  The others leave while Eun Seok makes plans to be the next BOSS.  I can’t believe they all just left him there with the camera crew.  All he has to do now is ask the crew for a coup assignment.

We flash forward to the whole band going to the creek to hang out.  Won Bin gets a chair, umbrella, and coolers of snacks.  Everyone else has to sit on the rocks, except for Eun Seok, whom Won Bin orders to stand. 

Won Bin opens one of the coolers and is excited to see patbingsu, which is a red bean paste on shaved ice.  Korean people must be the healthiest people on Earth.  While several of the band members put the ingredients together, Anton grabs a raft and plays in the creek, which looks way more fun. 

Back on shore, Won Bin is being very generous with the food, even sharing with Eun Seok.  These guys just had a huge breakfast, and now they’re eating fruit and donuts and bean paste.  I don’t know where they’re putting it.

They go swimming right after eating a metric ton of food.  Out of revenge, Won Bin has Shotaro flip Eun Seok’s innertube and push him into the water.  They’re all having fun swimming, and I’m just waiting for the Jaws theme music, because I know SOMEONE must be attempting a coup.  But no, this is where they end the episode.  With everyone happily playing and splashing in the water.

I predict the next episode will begin with the attack of a vegan snail army, who will have foolishly joined an alliance with Eun Seok.  Grab your parsley garlic butter and join me there.

Episode 11:  The Madness of King Won Bin

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BOSS RIIZE, Episode 9: The Great RIIZE Betrayal

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(Written September 27, 2024)

An important Monsta X update before we get started:  Minhyuk will be finishing his military service in less than a week, on October 3^rd.  I’m tracking details on YouTube and Reddit.  He will be doing some kind of fan meeting right after he returns.

Joohoney (Jooheon) will be discharged in January 2025, Kihyun will be discharged in February 2025, and Hyungwon will be out in May 2025.  I didn’t realize so many of them were serving at once.   The only one left in Monsta X to enlist is I.M, and given that he’s 28 years old, he should be enlisting very soon.  Some K-pop sites say his deadline will be the end of this year.

Stay safe and well, guys.

Now for a quick housekeeping item. I’m going to be doing two overlapping projects soon.  These episodes of BOSS RIIZE can take a while to be released on streaming services, since the show is still airing, so it took me three days to get access to Episodes 9 and 10.  Instead of just sitting around, once I get these two episodes recapped, I’ll start my next recapping project – I-Land, the 2020 survival reality show that brought us Enhypen.  I’ll be working on that while wrapping up this show.

Okay.  Let’s get started on Episode 9 of BOSS RIIZE and find out who won the Horror Mission.

Sung Chan and Anton are automatically eliminated for dropping out.  Anton should be penalized for abandoning his terrified bandmate in the dark, but whatever.

In fourth place is Eun Seok.  His time was 11 minutes and 7 seconds, most of which was spent in a failed attempt to identify his own group’s song.

Third place is So Hee.  I’m bummed about that.  I wanted him to win based on attitude alone.  His time was 10 minutes and 50 seconds, again due to spending too much time on the song challenge.

So now it’s between Won Bin and the current BOSS, Shotaro.  Since the show is moving toward setting up Won Bin as the next BOSS, I’m guessing he’s going to win.  Yep, it’s Won Bin, at 8 minutes and 4 seconds.  He wins 5 more ballots, along with the extra ballots from being on the winning water sports team.  I love that one of the reasons Shotaro took too long is because he kept losing at Rock Paper Scissors against a ghost who was trying so hard to lose.

So Eun Seok has won four extra ballots, Sung Chan has six, and Won Bin has nine.  It’s already almost midnight, so Shotaro’s reign has ended anyway.  Time for another vote.  We’re reminded that Won Bin and Eun Seok formed an alliance back when they were washing lettuce, but now that Won Bin has a total of ten ballots, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t need that alliance anymore.

We also get a flashback to the budget-breaking feast, where we learn Won Bin had formed an additional alliance with Anton, which in hindsight was about as useful as an alliance with the surrounding squirrel population.

In the voting booth, Anton keeps his end of the bargain and votes for Won Bin and Shotaro.  We see the others go in and out of the booth.  The votes are counted, and the winner is … 

Sung Chan.

HOW.

We get our answer when Eun Seok bows to Sung Chan and reveals himself to be the kingmaker.  He broke his alliance with Won Bin.  We get a flashback showing that while Won Bin was busy in the voting booth, filling out his ten ballots, Sung Chan promised Eun Seok he’d be exempt from being a worker, and so a new alliance was formed.  Eun Seok cast his five ballots for Sung Chan.  Plus, Sung Chan had picked up secondary votes from other bandmates, so here we are.

Won Bin is PISSED.  One of the scaredy-cats who couldn’t complete any of the challenges in the Horror Mission is now the new BOSS.  I did NOT see that coming.  “I can’t trust anyone,” says Won Bin.  RIIZE is going to break up after this, aren’t they?

Sung Chan gets the laurel and stamp.  He signs his appointment letter and announces that Eun Seok is spared from being a worker.  Won Bin warns the new BOSS that his new bestie is a traitor.  His actual words, according to the translation, are, “That bastard is a traitor.”  Everyone is a bit surprised at this language. 

Getting back on track, Sung Chan decides to ask the Magic 8-ball Cards whether or not Shotaro should be a worker.  The guy who was frozen in fear on the Ghost Trail now wants to involve the Occult in his decision-making.  He draws a card that says, “Accept what you need to accept” and holds it up to Shotaro, who must now accept that he has to be a worker for the first time on this series.  Everyone else has been a worker, and Won Bin’s been given that assignment twice.

But life isn’t fair in South Korea either, because Won Bin is up for being a worker again.  He and Anton have to play something called the Tomato Game.  Anton loses, so he’s now the second worker.  I’ll take that as poetic justice for abandoning the new BOSS during the Horror Mission.  Sometimes, life IS fair.

And now, for what feels like the 20^th time, they must decide on sleeping arrangements.  It must be three in the morning by now.  How much sleep do they plan on getting?  Sung Chan chooses the bigger room with Eun Seok as his roommate.  The other four will have to cram into the second room.

Before bed, they work on individual journals of their trip.  I’m guessing when this show is over, Won Bin will self-publish his on Amazon under the title Best Served Cold:  How to Destroy the Lives, Hopes, and Dreams of Your Bandmates.  I will order an autographed copy.

Later, they make ramen while staring into one of the cameras.  Won Bin says he knew the camera was there because he watched footage of the previous show on YouTube.  I’m glad this show’s editor is asleep at the wheel so we can get telling footage like this.

Night passes, and we’re now on Day Two of this trip, which has felt like a full week long.  I can’t believe that just 24 hours ago, these guys were on the beach, doing the first round of voting.  Actually, I can’t believe the show expects us to believe that, especially since these guys have had time to see the edited footage on YouTube.

We find out that in the cramped room, only two of the guys slept in the bed.  Won Bin slept on the couch, and Anton took the porch.  Anton wakes up first and pulls fellow worker Shotaro out of bed so they can make breakfast for everyone.  We learn that out of all the possible workers, Sung Chan chose the two who can’t cook.

The crew tells them they can find freshwater snails in the creek in front of the village.  Neither of them have eaten snails before.  They have to Google “snails” on their phones.  Apparently, snails for breakfast is a bridge too far even in a country that regularly eats spicy octopus and kimchi (although to be fair, Anton did grow up in the States).  The two of them wonder how to cook snails, and Anton finds a recipe for freshwater snail soybean paste soup.  I felt my stomach heave just typing that.

Shotaro suggests making bibimbap, which is rice and vegetables and sounds like a MUCH better idea.  But they land on bibimbap AND soybean paste soup with snails.  I could never live in Korea.

They pick lettuce and scallions in the garden, and then they find a section of chives.  I never would have guessed chives were growing there.  It looks like regular overgrown grass.  If I lived in that house, the first thing I’d do is mow what I thought was the lawn, wondering why the clippings bag smelled like onions.

Now they go to the creek to get the snails.  This is the most demanding thing I’ve seen any of the workers have to do on this show.

Back at the house, Won Bin wakes up So Hee by pinching his nose shut.  This show has destroyed any goodwill he’s had toward his bandmates.  The two of them go up to the second house to wake up the BOSS and the “traitor.”

Eun Seok demands to know if breakfast is ready and then says if Anton is a worker, they won’t eat today. Eun Seok, you’re in Yangyang-Gun in the Gangwon Province.  I went on TripAdvisor and found three restaurants in your area that serve breakfast, so eat what Anton serves you, or zip it and start walking.

In the barbecue area, the workers are cooking while the others make their way over, complaining about how long it’s taking.  This is a weird place to end the episode, but here we are. 

We only have three episodes left, and two of our RIIZE guys haven’t been BOSSes yet – Won Bin and Anton.  I’m worried about what kind of coup Won Bin is planning.  He’s not screwing around anymore.

See you next time.  Prepare for battle.

Episode 10:  The semi-vengeful, kinda-mean-but-not-really Rule of BOSS 5

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BOSS RIIZE, Episode 8: Profiles in Semi-Courage

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(Written September 24, 2024)

We’re starting off with an apology from me.  These are going to be awful screenshots, so you won’t be getting a lot of them.  This entire episode takes place outside at night while our RIIZE guys run around a haunted village with only their lanterns for light.  But it should still be good episode, as we see if any of these guys can complete all three missions and win five ballots.  Let’s do this.

We open back at the café, where Won Bin has returned safely after completing two of the three missions.  It looks like Anton is next.

Won Bin was scared when he walked through the village.  Anton is downright petrified.  He’s too frazzled to follow the path and gets lost in the dark.  The cameras are having trouble following him.  I do give him points for muttering, “If anyone pops out, I’m going to hit them with my lamp.”  Atta boy.  Now to get to the Missing Shoe Mission and show Won Bin how it’s done.

Except that he doesn’t.  He’s so busy looking for ghosts to clobber with his lantern, he walks right past the Shoe Mission site.  Anton, my guy, did Won Bin actually do BETTER than you on that mission just by showing up?  Yep.  Anton breezes right past it and goes on to Mission 2.  I just can’t with these guys.

Now for the “Guess the Song” Ghost waiting for him on the path.  Anton takes one look at him, screams, and runs.  Maybe he’ll at least find his way back to the Missing Shoe Mission. 

Nope.  Anton doesn’t even make it to the sauna to play Rock Paper Scissors with the chick from The Ring.  He just races back to the café at top speed.  The poor guy will never live this down. 

So Hee decides enough is enough.  He has spent the whole day on the losing water sports team and has not won any ballots.  He’s going to face whatever’s out there.  I’m impressed – he’s walking quickly and purposefully, looking for the mission sites.  He makes it to the Missing Shoe site in record time.  He is truly BOSS material.  Why was he overthrown in the first place?

He reads the instructions, sees the clay pots, realizes the missing shoe must be in one of the clay pots, opens the first clay pot and finds the shoe, and puts it with the other shoe.  Mission accomplished.  Seriously, WHY isn’t he still the BOSS?

So Hee decides to pick up the pace and starts jogging.  He slows to a walk when he sees the Music Ghost but keeps moving forward.  Here’s where I learned an interesting cultural thing.  The ghost is making a “shoo, go away” gesture with his hand, but in Korea, that gesture means, “come here.”  I kept wondering why Won Bin was approaching this ghost when it was clearly gesturing at him to piss off.

So Hee thinks the ghost is just there to slow him down, so he tries to walk past, but the ghost takes his arm and pulls him back.  Instead of freaking out, So Hee laughs at himself when he realizes this is the second mission.

What happens next is pretty amazing.  The Music Ghost plays the slowed-down song, and So Hee concentrates, listening for the lyrics.  The ghost seems disappointed that So Hee doesn’t seem the slightest bit scared of him, so he suddenly shrieks right in his face.  So Hee barely notices.  He half-smiles at the ghost, like he’s saying, “Yes, I see that.  Nicely done,” and keeps concentrating on the song.  I am in total awe of So Hee.  He is the biggest badass in RIIZE.

What’s even funnier is that he’s struggling to identify the lyrics to his own group’s song, “Siren.”  He finally realizes he’s running out of time and gives up, moving on to the third mission site.

He goes into the sauna and waits.  The chick from The Ring springs up on him … and he can’t help laughing.  I am loving this.  The chick is so bummed, she just kind of flops onto the bench across from him and starts the game.  After a couple of rounds, he wins and leaves the sauna.

He makes it back to the café, and the others are a little surprised that he’s laughing.  Sung Chan has been a nervous wreck, waiting for his turn while listening to Anton talk about how scary it is out there, and now he’s just confused.  He decides to just get it over with.  He gives himself a pep talk, grabs the lantern, and stops at the door because he’s too afraid to go any further. 

He finally makes it outside and stumbles down the path, holding his lamp over his head in case he needs to use it as a weapon.  He freaks out when he runs into a member of the camera crew.  He finally decides he wants to give up.  But he’s frozen in fear, unable to keep going and unable to run back to his bandmates.  

Back at the café, the other members are wondering if they should send someone out there to look for Sung Chan.  Anton, of all people, decides to brave the darkness to look for his bandmate.  He doesn’t even have a lantern because Sung Chan took the only one with him.  Fortunately, when Anton gets outside, he sees the light from Sung Chan’s lantern and runs after him.  They join forces and inch along the path together, jumping at every little sound.

Sung Chan suggests they try the first challenge together.  In response, Anton, his brother in the band, one of his best friends in the world, takes off running back to the café, leaving him behind in the dust.  I repeat, ANTON LEAVES HIS BANDMATE BEHIND ON THE SCARY PATH IN THE DARK.  I can’t wait for RIIZE’s next hit single, “Get a Guitar (So I Can Smash it Over Anton’s Stupid Head).”

To his enormous credit, Sung Chan makes his way to the Missing Shoe site alone.  I am really pulling for him.  But he loses his nerve after reading the instructions, and a camera operator has to lead him back to the café.

We see the scores so far.  Won Bin and So Hee have each accomplished two missions, and Anton and Sung Chan have soaked two pairs of pants.  Despite getting one mission wrong, I think So Hee is far and away the winner here.  We don’t know yet what each person’s time is, but I really hope he wins.  

Sung Chan walks triumphantly into the café and says, “Success!”  No one is buying it.  Plus, Anton’s sitting right there.  I wondered how he explained abandoning his bandmate to the rest of the group.

Next up is Eun Seok.  He’s been sneaky and mean all season and really needs to prove himself here.  He grabs the lantern and heads out into the darkness, telling us he loves this kind of thing.  We’ll see.

He heads right over to the Shoe Challenge, reads the instructions, and starts looking for the missing shoe.  He finds it in the second jar he checks.  I’ll admit, I’m impressed.  Let’s see if he can be the first to nail all three missions.

Like So Hee, he’s jogging to save time.  He jogs fearlessly up to the Music Ghost.  Let’s see if he can recognize his own group’s song.  Aaaand he can’t.  The ghost, probably fed up at this point, says he’ll give him a clue if he’ll do aegyo into the camera.  I love seeing Eun Seok reduced to doing a baby voice and cute little gestures right into the camera.  Then he turns back to the ghost for his clue.

I really wish I could get a good screenshot of what happens next.  The ghost does some of the dance steps from the song’s music video.  “Siren” has some of the most insanely complicated choreography I’ve ever seen, and the ghost can only do a few clumsy steps, so I can’t imagine this is helpful in any way to Eun Seok.  When the ghost is done, Eun Seok looks even more puzzled and says, “I think it’s K-pop?”  Call me a ghost, ‘cause I am DEAD.

He finally gives up and runs to the sauna.  He’s so impatient to finish at this point, he doesn’t really react to the Ring Ghost.  They keep playing until he finally wins.  He runs back to the café at top speed, knowing he lost a lot of time on the second mission.

Now it’s the BOSS’ turn.  Shotaro is nervous as he walks along the path, but he’s hanging in there.  He gets to the Shoe Thing and solves it pretty quickly.  Then he walks bravely up to the Music Ghost, who is probably ready to call it a day at this point.  

The slowed-down song starts playing.  We find out in a flashback that Eun Seok had already told him it was a RIIZE song.  I’m guessing Won Bin spilled the beans, since he’s the only one who’s gotten it right so far.  And Shotaro STILL can’t figure out which song it is.  He asks for a hint.  The ghost demands to see some dance moves first, so Shotaro does some choreo on the spot.

The ghost then starts humming the melody for the “Siren” chorus, which doesn’t really help because the chorus is kind of yelled instead of sung, so it’s like trying to hum the melody of a sports cheer.  Shotaro finally gives up and moves on.  No one in the band will accomplish all three missions.

At the sauna, he’s a little freaked out by the Ring ghost, but he stays and plays the game.  He keeps losing over and over.  The poor ghost girl is TRYING to get him to win, and he just keeps losing.  I imagine when this is over, she and the Music Ghost are going to find the nearest bar and get plastered.  She’ll keep challenging the other patrons to Rock Paper Scissors, and he’ll keep muttering into his drink, “I can’t believe my kids like this group.”

FINALLY Shotaro wins and runs back to the café.  And the episode ends here.  We’ll have to wait yet one more episode to see who won and then who becomes the next BOSS.  And then I imagine SM Entertainment will watch this footage and fire the group for not being able to recognize their own song.  See you then!

 

Episode 9:  The Great RIIZE Betrayal

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