I-Land, Episode 11: Tempest in a TV Show

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(Written October 28, 2024)

Welcome to the penultimate episode of I-Land!  I’m expecting rehearsal chaos, followed by great performances.  Let’s dive right in.

We’re down to ten finalists, and we’re told one more is going home in this episode.  So we’ll be saying goodbye to Hanbin, Daniel, or K.

We open back at the giant egg timer after everyone has said goodbye to Ta-Ki.  The survivors are still sad and probably still recovering from the stress of the whole ranking process.  Then the announcer voice speaks up, and for the first time, I realize it might be coming from the egg.  They only hear the announcer voice when they’re in this room or onstage.  Is the egg talking to them, like the Tower in Wild Idol?  How have I not noticed this before?

The egg congratulates them, and the new banners unfurl.  

The Top 7 get their badges, and Jay is so happy to get his.  “It looks small and ornamental,” he tells us, “but it feels like my life’s riding on it.”  In a way, it really is.  For Hanbin, getting a badge is a new experience, and he doesn’t want to let it go.  For Jungwon, it’s his first time not getting a badge.  He looks sad and a little embarrassed, but we know he’s going to make it to the end and be the Leader of Enhypen. 

Our low-ranked finalists are very stressed, even more so now that we’re getting close to the end, and they don’t have much time left to prove themselves.  Ni-Ki looks like he hasn’t been getting any sleep.  He’s about to get even more stressed.  It’s time to reshuffle the teams for the Concept Test, now that Ta-Ki’s gone.  

Sunoo, as the top-ranked member, gets to decide who leaves Team Flame On (the awesome team) to join Team Chamber 5 (the cutesy pretty boy team).  If he sends Jay to Team Chamber 5, I will throw my computer in a dumpster.

Thankfully, he picks future bandmate Sunghoon, although now that I think about it, that’s not much better.  I hope Sunghoon makes him pay for this.  He was miserable on Team Pretty U.  Sunoo is grinning proudly like he just achieved peace in the Middle East. 

I don’t think Sunoo is thinking this through.  He’s also on Team Chamber 5, and he just recruited someone who hates the whole pretty boy vibe and might cause them to lose.  Ni-Ki would have been a much better choice, or even K, the Expression King.  To make it worse, Team Flame On is now losing their Leader to the other team.

Well, what’s done is done.  Right now, they all need to sleep, and Jay is excited to be in the luxury room with Sunoo and Heeseung.  As he looks around his new digs, his new roomies decide to read the goodbye letters he wrote them when he thought he was being eliminated.  They read the letters out loud with Jay cringing and protesting, “I was crying when I was writing those!”

The next day, Sunghoon is stressing out during rehearsal with his new team.  He’s still doing beast idol moves to the new pretty boy idol choreo, moving aggressively and stomping his feet instead of moving lightly.  He’s still in “Flame On” mode.  He’s also having trouble with the cutesy expressions.  This was a really, really bad idea. 

In fact, Sunghoon decides to get into the cutesy vibe by imitating Sunoo all day.  He starts bopping and singing in the kitchen area, which freaks out the other finalists and is pretty funny to watch.  He’s probably going to lose his mind by the end of the episode. 

Over at Team Flame On, not only have they lost their Leader, but Jay is starting from scratch.  He really believed he would be eliminated, so he’s been recording the rehearsals instead of actually rehearsing.  I’m dreading the midpoint evaluation.  

They also need a new Leader, and this time, they’re able to talk K into doing it.  Not wanting to make the same mistake as before, he tells his teammates, “I want everyone to give feedback to each other and go through this time well together.”

We watch both teams practice as the days go by, and now it’s time for the midpoint evaluation for Team Chamber 5.  Son Sung Deuk is surprised to see Sunghoon here.  He asks Sunoo if it wasn’t a bit cruel to take the other team’s Leader, and Sunoo laughs, thinking it’s a joke.  It’s probably a good thing that Sunoo isn’t the Leader of Enhypen.

Son Sung Deuk has them run through the choreo, and it’s a bit messy.  Sunoo is the only one able to keep a bright, cheery expression through the whole thing.  Son Sung Deuk does not look impressed.  When it’s over, he says the fact that nobody looks happy makes the whole performance awkward.  They all have a lot more work to do.  Sunghoon and Jake, who are having the worst time with the expression part, have no trouble expressing their depression afterward.

Now for Team Flame On.  Son Sung Deuk asks Jay how he enjoys being in the swanky room, and we learn that all the finalists like hanging out in there, and they make a mess.  Poor Jay.  But on the upside, their rehearsal goes really well.  Son Sung Deuk is actually smiling.  He tells them this is his first time being impressed during these training sessions.  I’m so happy for this group that’s been through so much already. 

We do get one red flag, though.  After all the praise, Son Sung Deuk tells Hanbin he needs to pick up the energy.  He’s not keeping up the same enthusiasm as the rest of the group.  When he runs through the choreo on his own, I notice how awkward he looks compared to the others.  This is worrisome.

Later in the kitchen area, Sunghoon hears Team Flame On talk about the positive feedback they got at their evaluation, and he gets upset.  He walks out, and in the next scene, we see him really focusing on his expressions with the rest of his team.  I feel so bad for him.  Sunoo really did him dirty.

Everyone takes a break to do some cleaning around the I-Land, and suddenly the giant egg timer starts beeping.  Maybe it needs a new battery.  Everyone runs to the lobby.  The gate opens, so everyone goes inside and just starts cleaning it.  This is one of the weirdest segments I’ve seen on this show.

Afterwards, they all gather in the kitchen to eat pizza and play games, and I’m wondering if this is a filler episode.  The show feels like it’s running out of steam.

As night falls, the giant egg orders the first, second, and third-ranked finalists to go to their room.  The three of them find cell phones on their beds.  Jay’s cell phone is placed on his “giant head of V from BTS” blanket, which I totally forgot he had, and the image startled me.  A sign on the wall says they can call anyone they want.  I have a million questions, including didn’t this show already give them cell phones, and have they not been able to call anyone all this time, but let’s just move on.

The boys talk about maybe calling their families and how happy they are to have cell phones.  Have they been hostages all this time?  Again, the show gave them BTS-branded cell phones in the early episodes.  Did they just take the phones away immediately when the cameras stopped filming? 

This was driving me nuts, so I had to stop and look it up.  During the three months of filming, the contestants were not allowed phones or any access to the internet.  They did get movie nights, but that was it.  The tablets they used to record their practice sessions did not have internet access.  There was a one-month gap between parts one and two of the series (part two started on the episode where BTS showed up), so during that month, they took a break and connected with their family and friends.  I guess the show gave disconnected BTS phones to the contestants as a promotion for Big Hit Entertainment, like everything else on this show. 

All the finalists gather together and decide to call an eliminated contestant and put him on speakerphone so they can all say hi.  They call Jaebeom, our songwriter trainee sent home in Episode 7.  He sounds happy to hear from them and is enjoying watching the show.

Sunoo, Heeseung, and Jay all find places to be alone and call their families.  I’m curious to hear the conversation between Seattle Jay and his mother.  They speak in Korean.  His mother initially believes that he’s calling because he was eliminated and immediately reassures him that it’s okay and she’s proud of him and oh my God I love her so much. 

She talks a LOT before Jay can finally get a word in and let her know he’s in third place, and she talks more about how proud she is of him.  I see where Jay gets his verbosity.

Meawhile, both Sunoo and Heeseung have family members who are fans of Jay, which cracks them up.  Their families all sound supportive and excited for them.  This is really sweet.

After the calls, when they’re trying to settle down so they can sleep, Jay and Heeseung discuss their fears of being eliminated and how much they’ve sacrificed to get here.  Jay says he was so upset when he was ranked last at the midpoint evaluation, he wanted to break his own hands.  Jay is kind of intense.

Rehearsals get more intense.  We get a montage of everyone practicing with higher and higher energy.  Everyone is gunning for a badge.  And finally, it’s D-Day.

Our stage lights up, and Namgoong Min appears on the screen, taking a page from the Steve Jobs fashion pamphlet.  

Tonight, the judges will be making the decisions instead of the viewers.  Our judges tonight are Doobu, Son Sung Deuk, Bang Si Hyuk, and DAMMIT WonderKid.  Why is this guy still here?  He never shows up for midpoint evaluations and doesn’t seem to contribute anything else to this show or help the contestants.  Is he the nephew of someone at Big Hit Entertainment?

Back at the giant egg timer, the Top 7 turn in their badges.  The one who ranks 10^th tonight will be eliminated.  Team Chamber 5 is up first.  Good.  Let’s get the cutesy song out of the way first.

They’re off to a bad start when they can’t even do their team greeting in sync, but at least the judges find that funny.  Hopefully the performance will be better.  Let’s go.

It’s cute, bubbly, adorable, perfectly in sync, and makes me want to barf.  So, mission accomplished, I guess.  The judges praise Sunoo, Jake, and Sunghoon for their expressions.  Apparently Sunghoon learned to swallow his pride and plaster on a believable smile.  He’d better get a badge out of this.

The judges didn’t find Heeseung’s expressions quite as believable.  Heeseung is twenty years old and has aged way past this.  Jungwon lacked energy in parts.  But overall, the judges are pleased.  Good.  Please let these guys go back to their rooms and look for what’s left of their dignity.

Now Team Flame On takes the stage, and right away, I approve of their jackets, although on Hanbin, it looks more like a raincoat.  The stylists should have made his jacket a little shorter.  They do the usual chitchat with the judges, and then it’s showtime.

This is straight FIRE.  I feel like I’m watching an actual Enhypen performance, even though there are only two future Enhypen members on this team.  The judges love it.  Doobu gives them a standing ovation.  “You really destroyed the stage,” Bang Si Hyuk tells them.  “I felt like I was watching pros.  This is how a performance should be.  I could tell you came to burn the stage.”

He singles out K and Ni-Ki for praise, and this is the happiest I’ve seen Ni-Ki in a long time.  Daniel also gets praise, so I don’t think he’ll be eliminated today.  Hanbin, sadly, is told that he was slightly out of step with the rest of the group, and his singing could have been better.  Oof.

Team Flame On returns to the I-Land while the judges huddle.  The power is in their hands now.  Every time Wonderkid speaks, I want to shut off his mic.

Back at the I-Land, I think Hanbin knows it’s over.  He’s 23 years old, which is middle age for K-pop trainees who haven’t debuted yet.  He sinks to the floor and puts his head in his hands, and K tries to comfort him.  This is heartbreaking.

I looked up Hanbin to see what happens to him after this show and OH MY GOD HE’S IN THE GROUP TEMPEST.  HOW DID I NOT KNOW HE WAS IN THE GROUP TEMPEST??

Last year, when I first started getting into K-pop, one of the videos that appeared on my YouTube feed was “Dangerous” by Tempest, and it’s been one of my absolute favorites ever since.  I still play that song on my power walks.  I also love the video, but Hanbin is styled as the bad boy of the group, so he looks VERY different, and I didn’t recognize him on this show.

Tempest has another song I really like, “Baddest Behavior.”  So far, they’ve released six albums and won a bunch of awards, including a Seoul Music Award and two Asia Artist Awards, and they were nominated for MAMA’s Best New Male Artist in 2022.  (They lost to a group whose name I can’t pronounce, and it doesn’t matter because they’re still awesome.)

So, judges, please cut Hanbin from this show.  He has to go be in Tempest.  Yes, he’ll be heartbroken, but then he gets to be in Tempest.  The longer you keep him on this show, THE LONGER HE’S NOT IN TEMPEST!!!  WHAT IS HE STILL DOING HERE??!!!

Okay.  I apologize.  I got a little carried away.  I still don’t even know if Hanbin is the one getting eliminated in this episode.  He’d better be.  I have never wanted to see someone get eliminated so desperately in this entire eight months of recapping these shows.

As the I-Landers wait for the new rankings, they pack their bags and say some prayers. Ni-Ki especially.  Jay, on the other hand, takes out his spiral-bound book of fan letters and reads through them for moral support.  Ni-Ki and Jay, you’re going to be fine.  You’ll be bandmates in Enhypen, and as a bonus, you’ll be friends with a member of Tempest!  You can hang out with Hanbin at the 2022 MAMA Awards when Enhypen loses to BTS in the Best Male Group category and Tempest loses to something called “Xdinary Heroes,” and then both your bands can go out together and celebrate that you have better band names than “Xdinary Heroes.”  I know it’s supposed to be “Extraordinary Heroes,” but first of all, that is WAY too long of a band name, and secondly, the “X” doesn’t cover the “extraor” part, so the band name is “Ex-dinary Heroes” which is a worse name than “Wonderkid.”

Time for the rankings.  Our boys are summoned back to the stage.  Here we go.

#1 is K, with a score of 92.  Woah.  I did not see that coming.  We are off to a very surprising start.  I’m happy for him.  He’s going to leave this show with a performance he can be proud of and then go on to join Ta-Ki in the ampersand band.

#2 is Ni-Ki, up seven spots, with a score of 87, and finally getting a Top 7 badge!  The look on his face gives me life.  He is beaming while the others congratulate him, while he says his thank-yous, and while walking through the gate back to the I-Land.  I love this kid.

#3 is Sunoo, with a score of 86.  Down two spots, but still ranked high.  He’s very grateful.  I don’t think he thought he was going to be eliminated, but he was expecting to have to leave the swanky bedroom.

#4 is Heeseung, with a score of 83.  Thank goodness, because he was fully expecting to be sent home.  He’s been looking physically sick this whole time, and now he can finally breathe.  He breaks down in tears during his thank-yous and says, “I really want to be a good idol.”  Oh, sweetie.  In 2024, you’ll be part of a group that will be touring arenas in the United States.

#5 is Sunghoon, with a score of 81.  He’s at the same spot, and I’m so glad after he suffered his way through that sappy pretty boy song.  He just looks relieved.  He’s been through it this week, getting yanked from a beast idol group to the one with pillow fight choreography.

#6 is Jay, with a score of 79.  He’s still in the Top 7.  Again, stunned and relieved.  He may have dropped three spots, but he’s still alive, kicking, and wearing a badge.

#7 is Jake, with a score of 78.  Man, these scores are close.  And he remains in the same spot, despite getting double votes last time.  Believe me, this is the most flattering screenshot I can get of his reaction.  He’s also been through it this week, but he’s still got the badge.

#8 is Daniel, with a score of 77.  Up two spots.  The only two left are future Tempest member Hanbin and future Enhypen leader Jungwon.

Jungwon is announced as the final survivor.  Hanbin looks like he’s just been punched in the gut.

After Jungwon thanks the judges, he runs to hug Hanbin, who is now smiling.  He’s accepted the elimination.  He saw it coming, and he knows it’s time to go.

Hanbin, get out there and find your Tempest bandmates.

Episode 12 (Finale):  Enhypen, after an Eternity (and thank God for BTS)

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I-Land, Episode 9: Underdogs

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(Written October 25, 2024)

Welcome back to the I-Land, where dreams, hope, sunlight, fresh air, and emotional stability all go to die.  We are down to eleven finalists.  Seven of them will make up the group Enhypen.  The remaining four will be sent home and given the chance to re-evaluate their life choices.  Let’s do this!

Our finalists return to the giant egg timer room after meeting Geonu outside to say goodbye.  Ta-Ki is still a numbed mess.  Daniel is still shaken after nearly getting eliminated.  Everyone does a big group hug and decides to do well on the next test for Geonu.

The announcer voice jump-scares them all as it congratulates them and unfurls the new banners with the current rankings.  The finalists put their nameplates on their chairs, and the Top 7 get their badges.  Then they’re told the second test will be revealed in twelve hours.  Good.  Please let these boys sleep.

Our Top 3-ranked finalists go to their swanky room and find something new.  It’s a sign on the wall saying that these three get to have a day of freedom.  All the finalists try to guess what it could be, like a movie or a day of video games.  You know, activities done indoors with no sunlight or fresh air.  One of them does suggest an amusement park, so maybe there’s hope for deprogramming after all. 

Night passes.  The next day, everyone gathers for breakfast and talks about how much they miss Geonu and wonder what he’s doing right now.  Guys, he didn’t die.  The show gave you those brand-new cell phones when you first got here.  Just text him.  

Never mind – there’s no time.  The twelve hours are up.  Our boys report to the giant egg timer to find out their next test.  In the big practice room, they’re surprised to find props – risers, curtain screens, and large tubes.  These props are for their Chemistry Test.  This is where the I-Landers and global fans will try to connect.  They will split into two groups and each learn a new song written for the show, “Flicker” and “Dive Into You.” 

The test begins in six days.  The top-ranked finalist, Heeseung, will be given priority to select his song and team members.

Heeseung chooses the song “Flicker.”  His teammates will be Sunghoon, Jake, Jungwon, and K.  Oooh, so close!  It was almost a team of all Enhypen members!

Jay is not happy about being overlooked by Heeseung.  He keeps getting underestimated on this show, and he’s desperate for a chance to get out of the rut of the Number 6 slot.  He tells us he feels betrayed, like Heeseung abandoned him.  In looking over my notes, I completely understand.  He’s spent this entire series trying so hard to shine.

Ta-Ki is also frustrated because Heeseung has taken all the top members. I checked, and yep, Heeseung has the 1-4 members and 7^th-ranked Jake.  That’s okay.  One thing I’ve learned from these shows is that the top-ranked finalists can get complacent and fall in the ranks.  It’s happened in every show I’ve recapped.

The two teams play Rock Paper Scissors to decide which team gets the big practice room.  Heeseung and Jay play for their respective teams, and of course, Heeseung wins.  Jay looks even more bummed, and I just want to remind him that there’s still a big practice room available at the Ground, right downstairs.  I miss that place already.

But Jay has a bit of a breakdown here, feeling the resentment and embarrassment of the past several weeks building up.  I know he’s a finalist and in the Top 7, but it’s hard to have a sense of perspective when you’ve been through it the way Jay has.  Maybe the natural light of the Ground’s practice room would help.  IT’S RIGHT DOWNSTAIRS.

Jay’s Dive Into You Team is fueled by being the underdogs and is determined to win this.  They run upstairs to another practice room.  I am so pulling for them.  Both Jay and Ta-Ki are on the same team, and these two really need a win.

Team Flicker gathers in the big practice room and goofs around with the props.  Meanwhile, Jay’s team is downbeat and gloomy.  But then Jay decides to change his attitude and tells his team not to be resentful.  “Let’s show them how good we are!” he says.  Go Seattle!

Jay’s not done.  “Let’s just take all from first to sixth place,” he says.  He’s dreaming big.  Daniel agrees, saying, “Let’s use this upset feeling to work hard.”

Jay steps up as the group’s leader, and they start deciding on parts.  It’s amazing to watch Jay at work here, galvanizing his team and putting each member in the right part.  This team is on fire.

Now we cut to Team Flicker.  Heeseung tells his team he knows exactly what parts everyone should do.  Right away, K speaks up.  “I think we should share which part we want to do,” he says.  K, I knew I could count on you to sabotage your own team. 

Most of Team Flicker thinks Heeseung should do Part 2, which is the part he wants anyway.  However, K also wants Part 2.  The whole vibe gets awkward.  To keep the peace, Heeseung agrees to take a different part.  The others ask him if he’s sure, and he insists.  “Yes, Part One is good.  I like it.”  The others don’t look convinced.  “Why, I’m really fine!”  Heeseung says.  Anyone who has used the word “fine” like that knows how he really feels. 

Heeseung tells us in a confessional that K has said hurtful things to him before, so he’s trying to avoid another conflict.  He’s a little intimidated by K.  I hope this is the test that results in K getting kicked to the curb.  

Heeseung now asks Sunghoon and Jake what parts they want.  Before either can answer, K says he thinks Sunghoon should take Part 5, and Jungwon should take Part 3.  It looks like he’s bullying his way into calling the shots.  Everyone quickly says it’s fine, even though it clearly isn’t.  The parts are now assigned, whether they like it or not.  K has hijacked the group.

Back to Jay’s team, and I think it’s the next day, because Ni-Ki enters the practice room and says the other team is sleeping in.  Jay’s team decides to take advantage of the additional rehearsal time.  Jay is working like a demon, planning out the choreo even during breaks.  He’s not the only one.  Team Flicker’s Jake, self-conscious about the fact that he ranks lower than his teammates, practices alone while the others sleep, determined to get his part right.

We get an interesting scene with Jay’s team.  The lyrics to “Dive Into You” are mostly in English, and Jay translates them for the other members.  When they get to the word “marvelous,” which they have trouble pronouncing, Sunoo asks if it’s a reference to Marvel movies.  They also learn the terms for a ship deck, ocean, and sky.  I’m always fascinated when K-pop artists learn English.  It makes my own native language sound new to me.

Back to the Flicker Team, which is finally rehearsing together.  Heeseung is trying to lead the team, but K keeps talking over him and taking over.  Heeseung wants to keep everyone in sync.  This is a standard, basic rule of  K-pop choreo.  But K thinks that doesn’t matter and that everyone can be different.  Now I’m starting to wonder if K really is trying to sabotage the team.  They’re also going by K’s memory of the choreo instead of watching the original moves on their tablets, so they’re getting some of the moves wrong.

At his team’s insistence, K finally does check the tablet and is not happy to see that he misremembered a key move.  Heeseung tries to be diplomatic and suggests they work on another part of the choreo.  But K is now sulking.  At 24 years old, he’s the oldest one on the show, but he’s behaving like a child.

Possibly trying to save face, K still insists they don’t have to be in perfect sync.  Again, this is breaking a fundamental rule of K-pop choreo.  During a break, Heeseung tells Jungwon and Sunghoon that he thinks this is a bad idea, but he doesn’t know how to talk to K about it.  Heeseung may be the team leader, but K is the oldest, so the others have to show respect.  Even if he isn’t showing any back.

I’ve never been so happy to cut to a midpoint evaluation.  Maybe one of the coaches can intervene.  Son Sung Deuk is here, and we can always count on him to be bluntly honest.

Both teams are here, and a fired-up Jay volunteers his team to go first.  please be good please be good please be good ….

They’re not just good.  They kick ass.  They are determined and fierce in their expressions, and they dance in perfect sync with furious energy. 

Son Sung Deuk is more reserved in his feedback.  He tells them they need more practice, but the song suits them well.  He asks about their process, and Jay explains how they divided up the parts, wanting to emphasize the talents of each member.  The coaches commend him.  I love this.  After being literally ignored in a previous midpoint check and struggling to be seen this entire series, Jay is finally able to shine.  

Son Sung Deuk does have constructive criticism for Team Dive Into You.  They need to dial it back a bit.  The energy is so aggressive, it’s a bit draining to watch.  I see his point, although the furious energy is what I really like about it.  The judges won’t know their motivation and will instead wonder why everyone is so angry.

Team Flicker’s turn.  Right off, Jake is out of sync with the others.  He’s also off the beat.  The coaches clock it right away.  I don’t like that Jake is getting the full brunt of the criticism, especially since he’s been working so hard, and there are deeper problems with this team that need to be addressed.

We cut to early morning the next day.  Everyone wakes up to find bags of gifts next to their beds.  They all get clothes – hoodies, jogging pants, golf shirts.  Was BTS here again?  No, it turns out the Top 3 finalists got these gifts for everyone else yesterday on their day of freedom, which I’d completely forgotten about.

We then get the survival reality show equivalent of a side quest as we follow Heeseung, Jungwon, and Sunghoon on their day of freedom.  They go to a pet café and play with dogs.  Then it’s off to a VR arcade and ice skating.  It looks exhausting.  If I had a day of freedom, I would just stay in bed all day and watch Netflix.  They end the day with clothes shopping for the other I-Landers.  It’s all very cute and fan service-y.  Now back to the real show.

The Flicker Team is practicing again, and K is being a jerk again.  When is someone going to call him out?  Then vocal trainer Kim Sung Eun arrives to hear them sing.  She’s famous for being the former vocal coach for three members of BTS before their debut, because everyone on this show has to be connected to Big Hit Entertainment in some way.

They run through the song, but Heeseung doesn’t know his part yet.  Kim Sung Eun wants to know why, and no one wants to tell her it’s because K’s been making everyone prioritize dance rehearsal over singing.  K finally speaks up and tells her he’s been setting the priorities.  She tells them they’re being irresponsible.  The scene cuts here.

Unable to sleep that night, Heeseung and Sungwon stay up late talking, trying to figure out what to do.  They don’t even feel like practicing anymore, and it’s three days until the test.

The next day, the Flicker Team gathers in the practice room, and Heeseung decides to take action.  He tells K, “Since you’re the oldest here, it’s hard to approach you sometimes.”  K says he doesn’t know what Heeseung is talking about, but he has to know.  He’s not dumb.

Jungwon steps in and says that K isn’t leaving enough room for everyone else to share their opinions.  He and Heeseung are being as tactful as possible, but suddenly K pulls his hood over his head and wipes away a tear.  He gets up and walks out.  The camera follows him into a lounge area, where he slumps onto a bench and cries.

I can’t believe I’m feeling bad for him right now.

After giving him a few minutes, the others join him in the lounge.  K apologizes and says he really likes them.  Now they’re all crying and I’m crying and can we please just get to a performance or something?

I want to skip the rest of this, but then Heeseung says something really sweet and compassionate.  He tells K, “We like you so much that we didn’t want to get into a fight, no matter the reason, or say anything bad to you.  I think that’s where we messed up.”

We fade out on this scene of reconciliation while I cry my way through half a box of Kleenex.  Now we’re back to the practice room, where Team Flicker is getting back to work.  We get a montage of both teams practicing while the days tick by.  Finally, thankfully, it’s D-Day.  Both teams are ready.  I’m ready.  Let’s friggin’ do this!

Back to the stage we go, with Namgoong Min on the big screen in his formal K-pop attire.  Our judges are Bang Si Hyuk, Doobu, Pdogg, and Son Sung Deuk.  Looks like Wonderkid won’t make it today.  What a shame.  We’re reminded that the global voters will determine the rankings this time and who has to go home. 

The Top 7 finalists are told to remove their badges and put them back in the glass cabinet before the test begins.  This time, the 11^th-ranked finalist will be cut.  No immunity.  The judges do have a bit of influence here:  After the test, when the global audience starts voting, the judges will pick the top I-Lander, and the votes he gets over the next 24 hours will count double.

First up is Team Flicker, which is Heeseung, K, Jake, Jungwon, and Sunghoon.  They look stylish in matching red suits.  Pdogg asks K directly if there were any conflicts within the group, and of course that’s not an innocent question, or he’d be asking team leader Heeseung.  K glosses over the question by saying he’s still learning as he goes.  Nicely deflected, K.  Now it’s showtime with Team Flicker and their backup dancers.  

It’s sultry, smooth, sexy, and flawlessly in sync.  And again, K kills it with the expressions.  Despite everything,  I find it hard to believe he’s going to be eliminated eventually.  The judges applaud.  They have nothing but praise, especially for Jake, who has improved a lot since the interim check.  This is going to be a tough team to beat.

Now Team Dive Into You takes the stage – Sunoo, Hanbin, Ni-Ki, Daniel, Ta-Ki, and Seattle Jay.  They’ve prepared individual greetings, and I love Jay’s:  “If you want, I’ll lighten the mood with my resentment, anger, and shame.  I’m the brand new leader, Jay!”  The judges love it.  Okay, I might have a bias in this group after all.

Showtime.

This is one of the raciest songs I’ve ever seen performed on these shows.  I’m pretty sure Hanbin and Jay are the only team members legally old enough to do what they’re singing about.  Daniel, the show maknae, is only fifteen, so I’m a bit uncomfortable watching him in this performance, along with Ta-Ki, and Ni-Ki, both sixteen. I feel like all three of them need an adult.

The judges give their feedback.  Bang Si Hyuk is kind overall, but he feels that Ta-Ki and Daniel didn’t do very well, which made the team feel unbalanced.  I can’t help thinking that part of the problem is that they were trying to perform a level of sexual prowess that I sincerely hope neither one has experienced yet.  Bang Si Hyuk is right – they didn’t quite fit with the others.  Ni-Ki, however, gets high praise.

Sunoo gets criticism for not being expressive enough, and the judges feel like Jay did a good job but didn’t really stand out.  I cringe when I hear that.  Jay’s been dealing with that very problem this entire series.  I have to wonder how this feedback from the judges will influence the voters.

Speaking of voters, the judges will now choose the finalist whose votes will count double over the next 24 hours. 

It’s Jake, our future Enhypen member who was struggling during rehearsals.  I’m legit happy for him.  The other finalists  hug and congratulate him.  Ever humble, he says he owes this to his Flicker teammates.

It’s now time for the global viewers to vote.  And with that, the episode comes to an end.

It wasn’t the big underdog triumph I wanted for Jay’s team, but still, our Seattle boy is hanging in there.  I think starting next episode, we need to start saying goodbye to our most underage finalists.  They need a few more years on them before they sing songs like this again.

See you then, and I’ll just keep the number of Korean child welfare services handy.

Episode 10:  Lots of Fans and Tears

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I-Land, Episode 8: Heartbreak

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(Written October 22, 2024)

Welcome back.  When we left off, Ta-Ki and his team were about to crash and burn because they got stuck with the wrong BTS song.  That is a sentence that makes perfect sense in the world of K-pop survival reality shows.

We start with a recap of the last episode, and here’s where we find out how all the teams are divided for the BTS Test.  Future Enhypen members are highlighted.

We have to wait to see the Fake Love Team perform.  We open on a sunny morning at the I-Land, where everyone is having breakfast. K is in a better mood.  Everyone agrees that the DNA Team is strong and has a good chance of winning.  So we then cut to the DNA Team in rehearsal, where they’re struggling with the usual stuff – voices cracking, trying to decide who gets the best dance parts, etc. This  may not be the team to beat after all.

The Fake Love Team is also rehearsing, but we saw this in the previous episode.  They’re worried because the vocal parts are quite high, and we already know what happens at their midpoint check.  It doesn’t help that Ta-Ki has never been a leader before and has no confidence.

A drawback of this episode is that it’s designed with the voting audience in mind.  They do a lot of flashbacks for each finalist so the voters can remember who they are, so we wind up spending a pretty big chunk of time not really doing anything.  Our trainees joke and goof off to show their playful sides and connect with the voters.

About eighteen minutes into the episode, we get some drama from K’s DNA Team.  Ni-Ki has thrown an ad-libbed move into the choreo because he saw V do it in the original BTS video.  K scolds him for not asking permission from the group first and demands to know if he thinks he’s a solo artist.  “You only think about yourself!” he snaps.

This seems like an overreaction, especially since Ni-Ki had a solid reason for throwing in that move.  Jay and Hanbin look uncomfortable.  Ni-Ki storms out of the practice room.  K calls him back for a private conversation in a dressing room with no cameras.  But they’re still wearing their mics.  K sounds like an angry dad, and Ni-Ki responds like a sullen teenage son.  This is really uncomfortable to listen to.

We now cut to the midpoint evaluation with all three teams gathered in the big practice room.  Son Sung Deuk asks how their rehearsals are going.  He tells them he choreographed all three of these songs for BTS, which I find really impressive because each one has a different style.  If he and BTS can adapt to these varied styles of dancing, then our finalists should also be able to do the same if they want to debut.

When the DNA Team performs for the midpoint check, we see that Ni-Ki isn’t doing V’s move anymore and is just sticking to the original choreo.  Overall, I think the performance looks good, but Son Sung Deuk has a different opinion. 

Next up is Ta-Ki’s Fake Love Team.  Like we saw last time, Ta-Ki is out of sync with the others, and there’s nothing smooth about his movements.  The choreo is supposed to dramatically flow, but when Ta-Ki does it, it’s all jerks and twists.  Plus, no one on the team can hit the high notes.  This is a disaster. 

The evaluation ends without us getting to see the I Need U Team perform.  Ta-Ki turns away and starts crying.  His team tries to console him.  I just want this show to cut him already and put him out of his misery.

We get some more audience voter fanservice as we cut to later that night, and the finalists share their experiences as trainees.  This goes on for several minutes that I fast-forward through, and finally, we cut to D-Day.  Let’s see the final performances!

The stage area lights up, and Namgoong Min appears on a screen in a snazzy white suite with purple shirt and tie.  Perfect formal K-pop attire.

Back in the giant egg timer room, the Top 7 are instructed to turn in their badges.  The rankings will very likely change after tonight.  The one with the lowest score will be eliminated.

The DNA Team is up first:  K, Ni-Ki, Jay, and Hanbin.  The judges comment that K and Ni-Ki are two of the best dancers in the group of finalists, and they are now on the same team.  The DNA Team walks through the gate to the stage, while the others remain with the giant egg timer to watch their performances on the screen.

But first, we get another flashback.  We need to learn if things were resolved between K and Ni-Ki.  The DNA Team is doing another midpoint rehearsal with Son Sung Deuk, and this time, Ni-Ki throws in the ad-libbed move.  After the run-through, our coach has Ni-Ki do his part alone, and he does the move again.  K is not happy, judging by his scowl.

To my surprise, Son Sung Deuk isn’t happy either.  He tells Ni-Ki to lose the move and asks the other team members if they knew he was doing that.  They all stammer, so Son Sung Deuk goes back to scolding Ni-Ki.  I wasn’t expecting this.  The tests are now about individuality instead of teamwork.  You’d think throwing in ad-libs to stand out would be encouraged, especially since this move comes from the original video.

Later that night, Ni-Ki again walks out of practice.  K calls him to come back, but when Ni-Ki does return, he just can’t seem to focus.  K stops the rehearsal and complains about how exhausting this has become.  He’s especially harsh with Ni-Ki, who leaves and heads to the bathroom, where he can cry away from the cameras.  When he doesn’t return, K goes looking for him.

Again, we only get the audio.  K sort of apologizes but follows it with, “I really hope you can change.”  I am so done with K at this point.  I know Ni-Ki is being petulant, but K is not handling it well and is just escalating the bad energy. 

Now we finally end the flashback.  Time for the performance.  It looks like each team gets backup dancers, which should give the choreo more energy.  K tells the judges he and Ni-Ki have talked things out.  Okay, I guess.  Let’s just start this thing.

I really hate to admit this, but K is amazing.  It’s hard to believe from watching this performance that he won’t make the final group.  He’s a visual stunner as well as an incredible dancer.  The whole group performs flawlessly, but K’s the one I can’t take my eyes off.  Dammit.

The judges praise their performance, and the DNA Team waits for their score.  Each individual can earn a score up to 100, so the team can get a score up to 400.

The DNA Team score is 287.  Woah.  Out of 400?  Really?  Now I’m really curious to see the individual scores.  But we’re not going to see them yet.  The DNA Team sits with the judges to watch the next two performances, and K puts his head down.  He knows his team is in trouble.

Next up is Team I Need U, consisting of Jungwon, Geonu, Jake, and Daniel.  We get a flashback of their rehearsal process.  Basically, the problem is that they’re having trouble conveying the sorrow of the song through their performance.  Will they resolve it by showtime?  Let’s find out.  

They definitely get the expressions down.  I’m not as into this song or the performance as I was with the DNA Team, but I’ve learned that I don’t always see these stages through the same eyes at the judges.  Honestly, I’d give this one a score of 287 and score the DNA Team higher.

Surprisingly, I got it right.  Bang Si Hyuk tells them this performance was way below his expectation.  He says that instead of conveying despair, the performance just felt scary to him.  I thought it was more “meh” than scary, but I’ll hold off on any more comments until I see the team score.

Geonu doesn’t seem at all surprised by this feedback.  He knows immediately that it was a bad performance.  The other finalists comment to each other that he looks physically ill.  He tells us in a voiceover that he missed several parts of the choreo.  I’m a little worried about him.  Let’s get this score posted so he can go sit down.

Team I Need U gets a score of 275.  I’m surprised it wasn’t lower, but the judges say Jungwon gave a great performance.  Team DNA is still in the lead for now.

Now it’s time for Team Fake Love, with Ta-Ki, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Heeseung.  After the disastrous rehearsals all week, this team is sweating bullets.  We get a flashback. Ta-Ki is still moving too fast, and I think I see the problem.

I pull up the BTS music video for comparison.  The original choreo flows like water.  Even in the quick moves, there’s nothing sharp or jerky about the movements.  They still flow.  But Ta-Ki has been doing locking movements ever since he started dancing.  He doesn’t know how to flow.  And the more frustrated he gets, the sharper and jerkier his movements are.  The quicksand has him and won’t let go.

After the painful-to-watch evaluation, Heeseung steps up to help Ta-Ki lead the team.  Ta-Ki actually starts to get the flow.  The performance stops being so jerky.  They’re even hitting the high notes when singing. 

My fingers and toes are all crossed for this performance.  

It flows.  It flows beautifully.  The judges praise the performance and single out Heeseung, saying that he really showed them how good he is.  Bang Si Hyuk says to him, “I feel proud of you.”  Heeseung has been a trainee with Big Hit for three years.  This has to be a triumph for him.  Wonderkid says he was so mesmerized by the performance, he forgot to take notes, but I’m pretty sure any shiny object would have had the same effect on him.

Sunghoon and Sunoo also receive high praise from Bang Si Hyuk.  But not poor Ta-Ki.  He’s told that his performances vary from very good to very bad, with no consistency.  Bang Si Hyuk tells him, “You can’t keep performing like this.  You must do better.  It was quite disappointing this time.”  Ta-Ki looks crushed.  This is so hard to watch.

Now for the team score.  Team DNA is in first place with 287 points, and Team I Need U has 275 points.  Team Fake Love gets … 306 points.  Their entire team, including Ta-Ki, is safe from elimination.

Now the judges have to decide on the finalist to eliminate.  With Ta-Ki safe, my guess is Geonu, who still looks like he needs ALL the Pepto-Bismol.  In preparation for the new rankings, the finalists are told to pack all their things and gather in the giant egg timer room.  (The announcer calls it the “lobby,” which is no fun.)

Once they’ve packed their things and left them in the “lobby,” the boys return to the stage for the new rankings.  We’re starting with the Fake Love Team, since they are safe from elimination.  The four of them step forward.

Sunoo’s score is 77, ranking at #5.  He’s dropped from the Top Spot and will need to leave the swanky bedroom with the massage chair, but he still gets to wear a Top 7 badge.

Sunghoon’s score is 79, ranking at #3.  He’s moved up one spot and gets the upgraded accommodations. 

Heeseung’s score is … wow … 93.  He ranks at #1 now, up two spots.  Unlike his predecessor Sunoo, Heeseung is humble, saying he won’t get complacent with this score and will continue to work hard.

Now for Ta-Ki, and I’m dreading this.  His score is 57.  Oof.  He’s dropped to 12^th place, but because he’s on the winning team, the 11^th-ranked finalist, whoever it is, will get eliminated in his place.  This has to be agonizing for Ta-Ki.  He looks miserable.  At this point, after the humiliation of the past week and the public scolding from the judges,      I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s wishing he could just be eliminated instead.  It’s hard to believe he goes on to do another survival reality show after this.

The Fake Love Team is dismissed to return to the I-Land.  At least Ta-Ki won’t have to stay and look the 11^th-ranked finalist in the eye.  As they go through the gate, Ta-Ki’s teammates hug him when he breaks down.  All he can say is that he feels terrible for the person who gets eliminated.  When they get back to the lobby, he can’t even look at the screen.  His heart and spirit are broken.

Back onstage, we’re now doing the rankings in order.

Jungwon ranks #2, with a score of 81.  He’s up five spots.

K ranks #4, with a score of 78.  He’s up one spot.  

Jay ranks #6, with a score of 74.  He stays at the same spot as before.  That’s a little frustrating, but at least he remains in the Top 7. 

Jake ranks #7, the last spot in the Top 7, with a score of 70.  He’s moved up one spot.  He’s overwhelmed and has to fight back tears before he can compose himself and return to the I-Land.  He clearly thought he was being eliminated today.

Ni-Ki ranks #8, with a score of 69.  He’s up one spot but still just out of reach of a Top 7 badge.

Hanbin ranks #9, with a score of 66.  Our former last-ranked finalist has jumped three spots.

Daniel and Geonu are the last two left.  One of them is being eliminated.  I really think it’s going to be Geonu, and judging by the way he still looks physically sick, he thinks the same.  Over at the I-Land, Ta-Ki isn’t looking much better.

The last survivor is Daniel.  He ranks #10 with a score of 64.  He’s dropped eight spots, but he’s still here. 

I was worried Geonu might collapse, but now that it’s over, he’s starting to look a little better.  No more uncertainty.  He can go home now and sleep for several days.  He’s calm and accepting about all this.  Ta-Ki, on the other hand, is not okay.  Daniel hugs Geonu, who tells him, “It’s okay.  Do your best.”

Of course, I did some research on Geonu, and this was not the end of the line for him in the K-pop industry.  He went on to do two more survival reality shows and eventually debuted in a group called Just B, which later teamed up with a group called ATBO to create a project group called The Crew One.

In a weird side note, another member of Just B was eliminated I-Land contestant Jimin, who changed his name to Siwoo.  In July 2024, Jimin/Siwoo was suspended from the group.  Why?  He was dating someone.  I couldn’t find any other details, even on Reddit.  And now I’m sad again.  That’s K-pop in a nutshell.  You look up an eliminated contestant, hoping for good news, and then you find the good news, only to get upset over something that happened to someone else.  Rabbit holes were made for K-pop Google searches.

Back to I-Land.  Geonu tells the sobbing Daniel, “You must debut,” before he officially leaves the show.  I didn’t really like Geonu back in Episode 1, but I respect him now and am glad things eventually sort of worked out for him. 

I am worried about Ta-Ki, though.  After this awful week, if I were him, I would purposely screw up the next test and get myself eliminated.  What time he has left on this show will be spent knowing that everyone knows he doesn’t deserve to be here.

This is where the episode ends, on a really down note.  I recommend Xanax for all viewers for the rest of these episodes, because the heartbreak has just begun.  Each test will bring another elimination.  See you next episode.

Episode 9:  Underdogs

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