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(Written May 16, 2025)
Finale time! Our Stray Kids are nine again, and they’re about to face the fans in a live broadcast to determine their fate. The fact that we already know their fate doesn’t matter. I’m still excited. Let’s go!
We’re onstage at the CJ E&M Ilsan Studio in Seoul, the same stage we saw in the later episodes of No Mercy. We have a very intense-looking host, staring down the camera like he’s challenging us to a fight. This is famous Korean broadcaster Kim Il Joong. And he is PUMPED.
He introduces JYP, who is
seated at his own desk behind the crowd.
Are cans of Sugar-Free Coke strategically placed on his desk? You bet your YaYaYas they are! There’s enough caffeine on his desk to keep
our announcer bellowing at us for the next 90 minutes. LET’S DO THIS.
Only seven members are being introduced right now. Felix and Lee Know will have to wait. The seven walk onto the stage, and the cheers and screams are deafening. This is a huge audience.
The boys introduce themselves, and our host asks the usual questions – how do they feel, are they excited, etc. I will hand it to Kim Il Joong. He’s a confident host. In almost every finale recap I’ve done, the hosts are rattled to be doing a live show. They give us long, awkward pauses and nervous ad-libs. But Kim Il Joong owns this stage.
It also helps that this
finale is only 90 minutes long and not the four-hour slog we’ve been getting
from survival shows lately. We also
won’t be getting long, drawn-out reveals of the winners, since we already know
who our group is. We just need to know
if we’re getting seven or nine members.
This is a huge relief. My last
finale recap was Debut’s Plan, and my legs kept falling asleep.
Bang Chan chats with the host, and I can’t imagine what’s going through his mind right now. When it’s I.N’s turn to speak, the audience screams get loud again. Our maknae remains a fan favorite to this day.
After the group does their
individual introductions, JYP takes the mic.
I can’t really focus on what he’s saying, because all I can think about
is that the Cola-Cola people are geniuses.
The entire set is black and everyone is wearing black, so those bright
red Coke cans really stand out. Well
played, Coke. You got Mnet to
color-coordinate their entire set with your product.
Back to our host. He asks the crowd, “Do you want seven members?” I fully expect the room to go silent. But no. The crowd cheers. Then he asks if they want nine members. The crowd cheers. This is just like the concert mission. He could ask them if they want to debut a ham and swiss on rye, and they’d cheer. I feel like I’m watching an episode of Black Mirror. Voting is now open, so the fans can text either “7” or “9” to Mnet.
While the fans decide, we watch a montage of all the top moments from the show. The showcase against 2TEAM. The Hellevator music video. The battle with YG. I’ve really enjoyed this series. It’s been fast-paced and well edited. I wish survival reality shows were still like this.
The seven group members get
into formation on the stage to perform “YAYAYA.” They’ve been struggling to put this choreo
together after Felix was eliminated.
Let’s see how it turns out.
With the dark stage and strobe lighting, it’s really hard to get clear screenshots. Interestingly, I don’t see them attempt the dance move that made Felix almost fall. JYP doesn’t address it. He doesn’t seem blown away by the performance, but he tells them they did well. I have a hunch he’s already decided he wants the nine-member group and is saving his enthusiasm for that performance.
We get a flashback to the
writing and recording of “Young Wings,” and now, our still-seven group will
perform it onstage.
I like this song a lot. It’s a break from the dark edginess of their usual songs and gives us something that soars. I look forward to hearing the version that includes our two missing group members.
Kim Il Joong is still killing it as the host, by the way. He has great chemistry with the audience and is only occasionally glancing at his notecards. I’ve seen finale hosts on other shows with their eyes glued to the notecards like they’re reading ransom demands.
JYP is more enthusiastic about this performance and singles out Seungmin for praise. He also tells Hyunjin that his rapping has greatly improved. Hyunjin has finally overcome his enunciation problem.
Finally, our host mentions
Felix and Lee Know. We get a flashback
of their eliminations, because reliving past trauma is always fun. Now it’s time to find out what they’ve been
up to since they were eliminated.
We start with Lee Know, who’s
been reporting to the practice rooms every day and working hard. He hasn’t taken a single day off since he was
cut from the group. He’s been working
with a vocal coach, focusing mostly on singing, wanting to show improvement to
JYP.
Now for Felix. He’s been studying Korean nonstop and drinking Coke with the label facing camera. He hasn’t been gone from the group that long, so I don’t know how much better he could get, but he’s been studying with teachers and practicing on his own. When he’s asked in a confessional if he’s improved, he admits he’s still lacking. I studied Spanish for several years and still struggle with it. I can’t imagine the pressure he’s under.
We now return to the live broadcast. Felix and Lee Know join the rest of the group, and the crowd goes wild. They’re pretty much always going wild, so I don’t know if it’s because of our returning bandmates or if they just got a text saying Lotte World Mall is having a sale, but whatever makes them happy is fine with me.
Our host talks with our new
arrivals and tells us that Felix’s pronunciation is more clear. Now it’s time for our full team of nine to
perform “Hellevator.”
This performance has much better energy with all nine of them, and the stage doesn’t feel as empty. As I predicted, JYP is more enthusiastic with his feedback.
Now our host tells us we’re going to see how the voting is going so far. It’s 96% in favor of the 9-member group. Our Stray Kids look happy, but all I can think is that four percent actually voted to kick Felix and Lee Know back to the curb. I need to speak to those people. I demand to know their reasons. I’m not joking. I know this show aired several years ago. Those people still owe me an explanation.
Mnet could pretty much end the show right now. But ever the buzzkill, JYP takes the mic and says there are pros and cons to a nine-member group, and the final decision is still his. He has to be just creating drama. If he decides to go against the 96 percent, he’s going to find the JYP building burned to the ground.
Next up, a montage of behind-the-scenes clips of the show. It’s a lot of fun, goofy stuff, but I’m ready to get to the end of this and see the announcement of the final group.
Another performance. This is “School Life.”
The choreo has gotten wilder since we last saw it. It’s fun, and the crowd loves it, but I’m glad the performances are over. No, wait. We now see video footage showing that the boys have written yet another song to perform at this finale. Okay, Mnet definitely could have cut a good half hour off this episode.
The song is about anger. It’s called “Law of Total Grrr.” They perform it, it’s great. It sounds like metal-inspired hip-hop. Felix raps in his deep voice. The dancing is wildly aggressive. When they finish, they are gasping for breath and drenched in sweat.
JYP really likes the song and compliments them on their writing and production. He does tell Lee Know and Felix that they aren’t performing up to their full potential, but I still think he’s trying to create suspense about his final decision.
The performances should be done. Now Kim Il Joong has a surprise for us. It’s a special guest. It’s Jun K from 2pm. Okay, I like 2pm, but what is he doing here?
Turns out he’s here to
perform a song for us. Right. But why?
He sings his song and leaves. I sit blinking at the screen. Back in the Wild Idol finale, Kim Jong Wan from the group Nell performed, but he was one of the coaches and judges and had written a song specifically for the finalists. I know Jun K was one of the mystery listeners at the busking mission, but that doesn’t explain … you know what? Never mind. We’re almost at the end.
The audience members are
waving little banners with their favorite Stray Kid on them, and I have to
wonder if Felix had any say on this one.
Seriously, was this the best picture they could find of him?
Oh wait, Jun K’s still here. He greets the audience. Our host tells him that because he was a mystery listener, he must feel like he has a special relationship with Stray Kids. I actually snorted with laugher. It was Jun K’s feedback after that concert that led to Felix being eliminated. That is one hell of a special relationship. Is Jun K the one who picked out that picture of Felix for the banner, too?
Now Jun K leaves to go backstab some other group, and our host announces the end of voting. We are about to hear the final results. But of course, we have to drag this out. The group members express their thanks to JYP and ask him to please vote for nine members. JYP’s expression is unreadable.
While we’re waiting for the
voting results, I want to give a huge shout-out to Kim Il Joong for being the
best finale host ever. He should be
required by law to host all K-pop survival show finales. The Boys Planet finale would have been
over in half the time. This man runs a
tight ship.
Seriously. This
guy RULES.
Okay, now for the final voting results. It remains 96% to 4% in favor of the full nine. That four percent should have been given a comments section to explain themselves.
Now it’s time for JYP to
announce his decision. But first, we
have to make Lee Know and Felix stand on their own platform in the middle of
the stage like they’re on trial for witchcraft.
I can’t believe they have to
stand there after everything they’ve already been through on this show. I’m a little worried about Lee Know. He looks like he might pass out.
JYP starts off by making it sound like he’s decided on seven. He says he understands the voters’ point of view, implying that he’s not going to go along with them. His voice even sounds regretful. He then starts telling us about his pet dogs. Settle in folks. This may take a while.
He says that no matter how
well he trains his dogs, they still sometimes poop in the house. Great.
We’re at a glamorous K-pop finale, and now everyone is picturing dog
poop. JYP must be fun at dinner parties.
He finally says, “Congratulations. Stray Kids will be nine members.”
I can’t get screenshots of
the group’s immediate reactions because the strobe lights are going
insane. But everyone is hugging and
crying, and the audience is losing its mind.
Our group members stammer out
words of thanks to everyone. We get a
touching moment when Bang Chan thanks the other members for coming along with
him on this project. They really did
take a leap of faith.
JYP gives another long
explanation about why he made his decision, but I think we’re done here.
This finale aired almost eight years ago. Over these past eight years, Stray Kids have sold over 31 million albums and endorsed everything from clothing to cosmetics to electronics to Minute Maid drinks. (Coca-Cola owns Minute Maid.) Tommy Hilfiger dressed them for the Met Gala in 2024. They are known as the Donation Idol Group for their charitable causes. They’ve toured the world four times.
And Bang Chan dropped Felix’s
egg. That’s still my favorite of their
YouTube clips.
Until the next recap project,
cheerio, mates!
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