I-Land, Episode 9: Underdogs

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(Written October 25, 2024)

Welcome back to the I-Land, where dreams, hope, sunlight, fresh air, and emotional stability all go to die.  We are down to eleven finalists.  Seven of them will make up the group Enhypen.  The remaining four will be sent home and given the chance to re-evaluate their life choices.  Let’s do this!

Our finalists return to the giant egg timer room after meeting Geonu outside to say goodbye.  Ta-Ki is still a numbed mess.  Daniel is still shaken after nearly getting eliminated.  Everyone does a big group hug and decides to do well on the next test for Geonu.

The announcer voice jump-scares them all as it congratulates them and unfurls the new banners with the current rankings.  The finalists put their nameplates on their chairs, and the Top 7 get their badges.  Then they’re told the second test will be revealed in twelve hours.  Good.  Please let these boys sleep.

Our Top 3-ranked finalists go to their swanky room and find something new.  It’s a sign on the wall saying that these three get to have a day of freedom.  All the finalists try to guess what it could be, like a movie or a day of video games.  You know, activities done indoors with no sunlight or fresh air.  One of them does suggest an amusement park, so maybe there’s hope for deprogramming after all. 

Night passes.  The next day, everyone gathers for breakfast and talks about how much they miss Geonu and wonder what he’s doing right now.  Guys, he didn’t die.  The show gave you those brand-new cell phones when you first got here.  Just text him.  

Never mind – there’s no time.  The twelve hours are up.  Our boys report to the giant egg timer to find out their next test.  In the big practice room, they’re surprised to find props – risers, curtain screens, and large tubes.  These props are for their Chemistry Test.  This is where the I-Landers and global fans will try to connect.  They will split into two groups and each learn a new song written for the show, “Flicker” and “Dive Into You.” 

The test begins in six days.  The top-ranked finalist, Heeseung, will be given priority to select his song and team members.

Heeseung chooses the song “Flicker.”  His teammates will be Sunghoon, Jake, Jungwon, and K.  Oooh, so close!  It was almost a team of all Enhypen members!

Jay is not happy about being overlooked by Heeseung.  He keeps getting underestimated on this show, and he’s desperate for a chance to get out of the rut of the Number 6 slot.  He tells us he feels betrayed, like Heeseung abandoned him.  In looking over my notes, I completely understand.  He’s spent this entire series trying so hard to shine.

Ta-Ki is also frustrated because Heeseung has taken all the top members. I checked, and yep, Heeseung has the 1-4 members and 7^th-ranked Jake.  That’s okay.  One thing I’ve learned from these shows is that the top-ranked finalists can get complacent and fall in the ranks.  It’s happened in every show I’ve recapped.

The two teams play Rock Paper Scissors to decide which team gets the big practice room.  Heeseung and Jay play for their respective teams, and of course, Heeseung wins.  Jay looks even more bummed, and I just want to remind him that there’s still a big practice room available at the Ground, right downstairs.  I miss that place already.

But Jay has a bit of a breakdown here, feeling the resentment and embarrassment of the past several weeks building up.  I know he’s a finalist and in the Top 7, but it’s hard to have a sense of perspective when you’ve been through it the way Jay has.  Maybe the natural light of the Ground’s practice room would help.  IT’S RIGHT DOWNSTAIRS.

Jay’s Dive Into You Team is fueled by being the underdogs and is determined to win this.  They run upstairs to another practice room.  I am so pulling for them.  Both Jay and Ta-Ki are on the same team, and these two really need a win.

Team Flicker gathers in the big practice room and goofs around with the props.  Meanwhile, Jay’s team is downbeat and gloomy.  But then Jay decides to change his attitude and tells his team not to be resentful.  “Let’s show them how good we are!” he says.  Go Seattle!

Jay’s not done.  “Let’s just take all from first to sixth place,” he says.  He’s dreaming big.  Daniel agrees, saying, “Let’s use this upset feeling to work hard.”

Jay steps up as the group’s leader, and they start deciding on parts.  It’s amazing to watch Jay at work here, galvanizing his team and putting each member in the right part.  This team is on fire.

Now we cut to Team Flicker.  Heeseung tells his team he knows exactly what parts everyone should do.  Right away, K speaks up.  “I think we should share which part we want to do,” he says.  K, I knew I could count on you to sabotage your own team. 

Most of Team Flicker thinks Heeseung should do Part 2, which is the part he wants anyway.  However, K also wants Part 2.  The whole vibe gets awkward.  To keep the peace, Heeseung agrees to take a different part.  The others ask him if he’s sure, and he insists.  “Yes, Part One is good.  I like it.”  The others don’t look convinced.  “Why, I’m really fine!”  Heeseung says.  Anyone who has used the word “fine” like that knows how he really feels. 

Heeseung tells us in a confessional that K has said hurtful things to him before, so he’s trying to avoid another conflict.  He’s a little intimidated by K.  I hope this is the test that results in K getting kicked to the curb.  

Heeseung now asks Sunghoon and Jake what parts they want.  Before either can answer, K says he thinks Sunghoon should take Part 5, and Jungwon should take Part 3.  It looks like he’s bullying his way into calling the shots.  Everyone quickly says it’s fine, even though it clearly isn’t.  The parts are now assigned, whether they like it or not.  K has hijacked the group.

Back to Jay’s team, and I think it’s the next day, because Ni-Ki enters the practice room and says the other team is sleeping in.  Jay’s team decides to take advantage of the additional rehearsal time.  Jay is working like a demon, planning out the choreo even during breaks.  He’s not the only one.  Team Flicker’s Jake, self-conscious about the fact that he ranks lower than his teammates, practices alone while the others sleep, determined to get his part right.

We get an interesting scene with Jay’s team.  The lyrics to “Dive Into You” are mostly in English, and Jay translates them for the other members.  When they get to the word “marvelous,” which they have trouble pronouncing, Sunoo asks if it’s a reference to Marvel movies.  They also learn the terms for a ship deck, ocean, and sky.  I’m always fascinated when K-pop artists learn English.  It makes my own native language sound new to me.

Back to the Flicker Team, which is finally rehearsing together.  Heeseung is trying to lead the team, but K keeps talking over him and taking over.  Heeseung wants to keep everyone in sync.  This is a standard, basic rule of  K-pop choreo.  But K thinks that doesn’t matter and that everyone can be different.  Now I’m starting to wonder if K really is trying to sabotage the team.  They’re also going by K’s memory of the choreo instead of watching the original moves on their tablets, so they’re getting some of the moves wrong.

At his team’s insistence, K finally does check the tablet and is not happy to see that he misremembered a key move.  Heeseung tries to be diplomatic and suggests they work on another part of the choreo.  But K is now sulking.  At 24 years old, he’s the oldest one on the show, but he’s behaving like a child.

Possibly trying to save face, K still insists they don’t have to be in perfect sync.  Again, this is breaking a fundamental rule of K-pop choreo.  During a break, Heeseung tells Jungwon and Sunghoon that he thinks this is a bad idea, but he doesn’t know how to talk to K about it.  Heeseung may be the team leader, but K is the oldest, so the others have to show respect.  Even if he isn’t showing any back.

I’ve never been so happy to cut to a midpoint evaluation.  Maybe one of the coaches can intervene.  Son Sung Deuk is here, and we can always count on him to be bluntly honest.

Both teams are here, and a fired-up Jay volunteers his team to go first.  please be good please be good please be good ….

They’re not just good.  They kick ass.  They are determined and fierce in their expressions, and they dance in perfect sync with furious energy. 

Son Sung Deuk is more reserved in his feedback.  He tells them they need more practice, but the song suits them well.  He asks about their process, and Jay explains how they divided up the parts, wanting to emphasize the talents of each member.  The coaches commend him.  I love this.  After being literally ignored in a previous midpoint check and struggling to be seen this entire series, Jay is finally able to shine.  

Son Sung Deuk does have constructive criticism for Team Dive Into You.  They need to dial it back a bit.  The energy is so aggressive, it’s a bit draining to watch.  I see his point, although the furious energy is what I really like about it.  The judges won’t know their motivation and will instead wonder why everyone is so angry.

Team Flicker’s turn.  Right off, Jake is out of sync with the others.  He’s also off the beat.  The coaches clock it right away.  I don’t like that Jake is getting the full brunt of the criticism, especially since he’s been working so hard, and there are deeper problems with this team that need to be addressed.

We cut to early morning the next day.  Everyone wakes up to find bags of gifts next to their beds.  They all get clothes – hoodies, jogging pants, golf shirts.  Was BTS here again?  No, it turns out the Top 3 finalists got these gifts for everyone else yesterday on their day of freedom, which I’d completely forgotten about.

We then get the survival reality show equivalent of a side quest as we follow Heeseung, Jungwon, and Sunghoon on their day of freedom.  They go to a pet café and play with dogs.  Then it’s off to a VR arcade and ice skating.  It looks exhausting.  If I had a day of freedom, I would just stay in bed all day and watch Netflix.  They end the day with clothes shopping for the other I-Landers.  It’s all very cute and fan service-y.  Now back to the real show.

The Flicker Team is practicing again, and K is being a jerk again.  When is someone going to call him out?  Then vocal trainer Kim Sung Eun arrives to hear them sing.  She’s famous for being the former vocal coach for three members of BTS before their debut, because everyone on this show has to be connected to Big Hit Entertainment in some way.

They run through the song, but Heeseung doesn’t know his part yet.  Kim Sung Eun wants to know why, and no one wants to tell her it’s because K’s been making everyone prioritize dance rehearsal over singing.  K finally speaks up and tells her he’s been setting the priorities.  She tells them they’re being irresponsible.  The scene cuts here.

Unable to sleep that night, Heeseung and Sungwon stay up late talking, trying to figure out what to do.  They don’t even feel like practicing anymore, and it’s three days until the test.

The next day, the Flicker Team gathers in the practice room, and Heeseung decides to take action.  He tells K, “Since you’re the oldest here, it’s hard to approach you sometimes.”  K says he doesn’t know what Heeseung is talking about, but he has to know.  He’s not dumb.

Jungwon steps in and says that K isn’t leaving enough room for everyone else to share their opinions.  He and Heeseung are being as tactful as possible, but suddenly K pulls his hood over his head and wipes away a tear.  He gets up and walks out.  The camera follows him into a lounge area, where he slumps onto a bench and cries.

I can’t believe I’m feeling bad for him right now.

After giving him a few minutes, the others join him in the lounge.  K apologizes and says he really likes them.  Now they’re all crying and I’m crying and can we please just get to a performance or something?

I want to skip the rest of this, but then Heeseung says something really sweet and compassionate.  He tells K, “We like you so much that we didn’t want to get into a fight, no matter the reason, or say anything bad to you.  I think that’s where we messed up.”

We fade out on this scene of reconciliation while I cry my way through half a box of Kleenex.  Now we’re back to the practice room, where Team Flicker is getting back to work.  We get a montage of both teams practicing while the days tick by.  Finally, thankfully, it’s D-Day.  Both teams are ready.  I’m ready.  Let’s friggin’ do this!

Back to the stage we go, with Namgoong Min on the big screen in his formal K-pop attire.  Our judges are Bang Si Hyuk, Doobu, Pdogg, and Son Sung Deuk.  Looks like Wonderkid won’t make it today.  What a shame.  We’re reminded that the global voters will determine the rankings this time and who has to go home. 

The Top 7 finalists are told to remove their badges and put them back in the glass cabinet before the test begins.  This time, the 11^th-ranked finalist will be cut.  No immunity.  The judges do have a bit of influence here:  After the test, when the global audience starts voting, the judges will pick the top I-Lander, and the votes he gets over the next 24 hours will count double.

First up is Team Flicker, which is Heeseung, K, Jake, Jungwon, and Sunghoon.  They look stylish in matching red suits.  Pdogg asks K directly if there were any conflicts within the group, and of course that’s not an innocent question, or he’d be asking team leader Heeseung.  K glosses over the question by saying he’s still learning as he goes.  Nicely deflected, K.  Now it’s showtime with Team Flicker and their backup dancers.  

It’s sultry, smooth, sexy, and flawlessly in sync.  And again, K kills it with the expressions.  Despite everything,  I find it hard to believe he’s going to be eliminated eventually.  The judges applaud.  They have nothing but praise, especially for Jake, who has improved a lot since the interim check.  This is going to be a tough team to beat.

Now Team Dive Into You takes the stage – Sunoo, Hanbin, Ni-Ki, Daniel, Ta-Ki, and Seattle Jay.  They’ve prepared individual greetings, and I love Jay’s:  “If you want, I’ll lighten the mood with my resentment, anger, and shame.  I’m the brand new leader, Jay!”  The judges love it.  Okay, I might have a bias in this group after all.

Showtime.

This is one of the raciest songs I’ve ever seen performed on these shows.  I’m pretty sure Hanbin and Jay are the only team members legally old enough to do what they’re singing about.  Daniel, the show maknae, is only fifteen, so I’m a bit uncomfortable watching him in this performance, along with Ta-Ki, and Ni-Ki, both sixteen. I feel like all three of them need an adult.

The judges give their feedback.  Bang Si Hyuk is kind overall, but he feels that Ta-Ki and Daniel didn’t do very well, which made the team feel unbalanced.  I can’t help thinking that part of the problem is that they were trying to perform a level of sexual prowess that I sincerely hope neither one has experienced yet.  Bang Si Hyuk is right – they didn’t quite fit with the others.  Ni-Ki, however, gets high praise.

Sunoo gets criticism for not being expressive enough, and the judges feel like Jay did a good job but didn’t really stand out.  I cringe when I hear that.  Jay’s been dealing with that very problem this entire series.  I have to wonder how this feedback from the judges will influence the voters.

Speaking of voters, the judges will now choose the finalist whose votes will count double over the next 24 hours. 

It’s Jake, our future Enhypen member who was struggling during rehearsals.  I’m legit happy for him.  The other finalists  hug and congratulate him.  Ever humble, he says he owes this to his Flicker teammates.

It’s now time for the global viewers to vote.  And with that, the episode comes to an end.

It wasn’t the big underdog triumph I wanted for Jay’s team, but still, our Seattle boy is hanging in there.  I think starting next episode, we need to start saying goodbye to our most underage finalists.  They need a few more years on them before they sing songs like this again.

See you then, and I’ll just keep the number of Korean child welfare services handy.

Episode 10:  Lots of Fans and Tears

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I-Land, Episode 8: Heartbreak

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(Written October 22, 2024)

Welcome back.  When we left off, Ta-Ki and his team were about to crash and burn because they got stuck with the wrong BTS song.  That is a sentence that makes perfect sense in the world of K-pop survival reality shows.

We start with a recap of the last episode, and here’s where we find out how all the teams are divided for the BTS Test.  Future Enhypen members are highlighted.

We have to wait to see the Fake Love Team perform.  We open on a sunny morning at the I-Land, where everyone is having breakfast. K is in a better mood.  Everyone agrees that the DNA Team is strong and has a good chance of winning.  So we then cut to the DNA Team in rehearsal, where they’re struggling with the usual stuff – voices cracking, trying to decide who gets the best dance parts, etc. This  may not be the team to beat after all.

The Fake Love Team is also rehearsing, but we saw this in the previous episode.  They’re worried because the vocal parts are quite high, and we already know what happens at their midpoint check.  It doesn’t help that Ta-Ki has never been a leader before and has no confidence.

A drawback of this episode is that it’s designed with the voting audience in mind.  They do a lot of flashbacks for each finalist so the voters can remember who they are, so we wind up spending a pretty big chunk of time not really doing anything.  Our trainees joke and goof off to show their playful sides and connect with the voters.

About eighteen minutes into the episode, we get some drama from K’s DNA Team.  Ni-Ki has thrown an ad-libbed move into the choreo because he saw V do it in the original BTS video.  K scolds him for not asking permission from the group first and demands to know if he thinks he’s a solo artist.  “You only think about yourself!” he snaps.

This seems like an overreaction, especially since Ni-Ki had a solid reason for throwing in that move.  Jay and Hanbin look uncomfortable.  Ni-Ki storms out of the practice room.  K calls him back for a private conversation in a dressing room with no cameras.  But they’re still wearing their mics.  K sounds like an angry dad, and Ni-Ki responds like a sullen teenage son.  This is really uncomfortable to listen to.

We now cut to the midpoint evaluation with all three teams gathered in the big practice room.  Son Sung Deuk asks how their rehearsals are going.  He tells them he choreographed all three of these songs for BTS, which I find really impressive because each one has a different style.  If he and BTS can adapt to these varied styles of dancing, then our finalists should also be able to do the same if they want to debut.

When the DNA Team performs for the midpoint check, we see that Ni-Ki isn’t doing V’s move anymore and is just sticking to the original choreo.  Overall, I think the performance looks good, but Son Sung Deuk has a different opinion. 

Next up is Ta-Ki’s Fake Love Team.  Like we saw last time, Ta-Ki is out of sync with the others, and there’s nothing smooth about his movements.  The choreo is supposed to dramatically flow, but when Ta-Ki does it, it’s all jerks and twists.  Plus, no one on the team can hit the high notes.  This is a disaster. 

The evaluation ends without us getting to see the I Need U Team perform.  Ta-Ki turns away and starts crying.  His team tries to console him.  I just want this show to cut him already and put him out of his misery.

We get some more audience voter fanservice as we cut to later that night, and the finalists share their experiences as trainees.  This goes on for several minutes that I fast-forward through, and finally, we cut to D-Day.  Let’s see the final performances!

The stage area lights up, and Namgoong Min appears on a screen in a snazzy white suite with purple shirt and tie.  Perfect formal K-pop attire.

Back in the giant egg timer room, the Top 7 are instructed to turn in their badges.  The rankings will very likely change after tonight.  The one with the lowest score will be eliminated.

The DNA Team is up first:  K, Ni-Ki, Jay, and Hanbin.  The judges comment that K and Ni-Ki are two of the best dancers in the group of finalists, and they are now on the same team.  The DNA Team walks through the gate to the stage, while the others remain with the giant egg timer to watch their performances on the screen.

But first, we get another flashback.  We need to learn if things were resolved between K and Ni-Ki.  The DNA Team is doing another midpoint rehearsal with Son Sung Deuk, and this time, Ni-Ki throws in the ad-libbed move.  After the run-through, our coach has Ni-Ki do his part alone, and he does the move again.  K is not happy, judging by his scowl.

To my surprise, Son Sung Deuk isn’t happy either.  He tells Ni-Ki to lose the move and asks the other team members if they knew he was doing that.  They all stammer, so Son Sung Deuk goes back to scolding Ni-Ki.  I wasn’t expecting this.  The tests are now about individuality instead of teamwork.  You’d think throwing in ad-libs to stand out would be encouraged, especially since this move comes from the original video.

Later that night, Ni-Ki again walks out of practice.  K calls him to come back, but when Ni-Ki does return, he just can’t seem to focus.  K stops the rehearsal and complains about how exhausting this has become.  He’s especially harsh with Ni-Ki, who leaves and heads to the bathroom, where he can cry away from the cameras.  When he doesn’t return, K goes looking for him.

Again, we only get the audio.  K sort of apologizes but follows it with, “I really hope you can change.”  I am so done with K at this point.  I know Ni-Ki is being petulant, but K is not handling it well and is just escalating the bad energy. 

Now we finally end the flashback.  Time for the performance.  It looks like each team gets backup dancers, which should give the choreo more energy.  K tells the judges he and Ni-Ki have talked things out.  Okay, I guess.  Let’s just start this thing.

I really hate to admit this, but K is amazing.  It’s hard to believe from watching this performance that he won’t make the final group.  He’s a visual stunner as well as an incredible dancer.  The whole group performs flawlessly, but K’s the one I can’t take my eyes off.  Dammit.

The judges praise their performance, and the DNA Team waits for their score.  Each individual can earn a score up to 100, so the team can get a score up to 400.

The DNA Team score is 287.  Woah.  Out of 400?  Really?  Now I’m really curious to see the individual scores.  But we’re not going to see them yet.  The DNA Team sits with the judges to watch the next two performances, and K puts his head down.  He knows his team is in trouble.

Next up is Team I Need U, consisting of Jungwon, Geonu, Jake, and Daniel.  We get a flashback of their rehearsal process.  Basically, the problem is that they’re having trouble conveying the sorrow of the song through their performance.  Will they resolve it by showtime?  Let’s find out.  

They definitely get the expressions down.  I’m not as into this song or the performance as I was with the DNA Team, but I’ve learned that I don’t always see these stages through the same eyes at the judges.  Honestly, I’d give this one a score of 287 and score the DNA Team higher.

Surprisingly, I got it right.  Bang Si Hyuk tells them this performance was way below his expectation.  He says that instead of conveying despair, the performance just felt scary to him.  I thought it was more “meh” than scary, but I’ll hold off on any more comments until I see the team score.

Geonu doesn’t seem at all surprised by this feedback.  He knows immediately that it was a bad performance.  The other finalists comment to each other that he looks physically ill.  He tells us in a voiceover that he missed several parts of the choreo.  I’m a little worried about him.  Let’s get this score posted so he can go sit down.

Team I Need U gets a score of 275.  I’m surprised it wasn’t lower, but the judges say Jungwon gave a great performance.  Team DNA is still in the lead for now.

Now it’s time for Team Fake Love, with Ta-Ki, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Heeseung.  After the disastrous rehearsals all week, this team is sweating bullets.  We get a flashback. Ta-Ki is still moving too fast, and I think I see the problem.

I pull up the BTS music video for comparison.  The original choreo flows like water.  Even in the quick moves, there’s nothing sharp or jerky about the movements.  They still flow.  But Ta-Ki has been doing locking movements ever since he started dancing.  He doesn’t know how to flow.  And the more frustrated he gets, the sharper and jerkier his movements are.  The quicksand has him and won’t let go.

After the painful-to-watch evaluation, Heeseung steps up to help Ta-Ki lead the team.  Ta-Ki actually starts to get the flow.  The performance stops being so jerky.  They’re even hitting the high notes when singing. 

My fingers and toes are all crossed for this performance.  

It flows.  It flows beautifully.  The judges praise the performance and single out Heeseung, saying that he really showed them how good he is.  Bang Si Hyuk says to him, “I feel proud of you.”  Heeseung has been a trainee with Big Hit for three years.  This has to be a triumph for him.  Wonderkid says he was so mesmerized by the performance, he forgot to take notes, but I’m pretty sure any shiny object would have had the same effect on him.

Sunghoon and Sunoo also receive high praise from Bang Si Hyuk.  But not poor Ta-Ki.  He’s told that his performances vary from very good to very bad, with no consistency.  Bang Si Hyuk tells him, “You can’t keep performing like this.  You must do better.  It was quite disappointing this time.”  Ta-Ki looks crushed.  This is so hard to watch.

Now for the team score.  Team DNA is in first place with 287 points, and Team I Need U has 275 points.  Team Fake Love gets … 306 points.  Their entire team, including Ta-Ki, is safe from elimination.

Now the judges have to decide on the finalist to eliminate.  With Ta-Ki safe, my guess is Geonu, who still looks like he needs ALL the Pepto-Bismol.  In preparation for the new rankings, the finalists are told to pack all their things and gather in the giant egg timer room.  (The announcer calls it the “lobby,” which is no fun.)

Once they’ve packed their things and left them in the “lobby,” the boys return to the stage for the new rankings.  We’re starting with the Fake Love Team, since they are safe from elimination.  The four of them step forward.

Sunoo’s score is 77, ranking at #5.  He’s dropped from the Top Spot and will need to leave the swanky bedroom with the massage chair, but he still gets to wear a Top 7 badge.

Sunghoon’s score is 79, ranking at #3.  He’s moved up one spot and gets the upgraded accommodations. 

Heeseung’s score is … wow … 93.  He ranks at #1 now, up two spots.  Unlike his predecessor Sunoo, Heeseung is humble, saying he won’t get complacent with this score and will continue to work hard.

Now for Ta-Ki, and I’m dreading this.  His score is 57.  Oof.  He’s dropped to 12^th place, but because he’s on the winning team, the 11^th-ranked finalist, whoever it is, will get eliminated in his place.  This has to be agonizing for Ta-Ki.  He looks miserable.  At this point, after the humiliation of the past week and the public scolding from the judges,      I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s wishing he could just be eliminated instead.  It’s hard to believe he goes on to do another survival reality show after this.

The Fake Love Team is dismissed to return to the I-Land.  At least Ta-Ki won’t have to stay and look the 11^th-ranked finalist in the eye.  As they go through the gate, Ta-Ki’s teammates hug him when he breaks down.  All he can say is that he feels terrible for the person who gets eliminated.  When they get back to the lobby, he can’t even look at the screen.  His heart and spirit are broken.

Back onstage, we’re now doing the rankings in order.

Jungwon ranks #2, with a score of 81.  He’s up five spots.

K ranks #4, with a score of 78.  He’s up one spot.  

Jay ranks #6, with a score of 74.  He stays at the same spot as before.  That’s a little frustrating, but at least he remains in the Top 7. 

Jake ranks #7, the last spot in the Top 7, with a score of 70.  He’s moved up one spot.  He’s overwhelmed and has to fight back tears before he can compose himself and return to the I-Land.  He clearly thought he was being eliminated today.

Ni-Ki ranks #8, with a score of 69.  He’s up one spot but still just out of reach of a Top 7 badge.

Hanbin ranks #9, with a score of 66.  Our former last-ranked finalist has jumped three spots.

Daniel and Geonu are the last two left.  One of them is being eliminated.  I really think it’s going to be Geonu, and judging by the way he still looks physically sick, he thinks the same.  Over at the I-Land, Ta-Ki isn’t looking much better.

The last survivor is Daniel.  He ranks #10 with a score of 64.  He’s dropped eight spots, but he’s still here. 

I was worried Geonu might collapse, but now that it’s over, he’s starting to look a little better.  No more uncertainty.  He can go home now and sleep for several days.  He’s calm and accepting about all this.  Ta-Ki, on the other hand, is not okay.  Daniel hugs Geonu, who tells him, “It’s okay.  Do your best.”

Of course, I did some research on Geonu, and this was not the end of the line for him in the K-pop industry.  He went on to do two more survival reality shows and eventually debuted in a group called Just B, which later teamed up with a group called ATBO to create a project group called The Crew One.

In a weird side note, another member of Just B was eliminated I-Land contestant Jimin, who changed his name to Siwoo.  In July 2024, Jimin/Siwoo was suspended from the group.  Why?  He was dating someone.  I couldn’t find any other details, even on Reddit.  And now I’m sad again.  That’s K-pop in a nutshell.  You look up an eliminated contestant, hoping for good news, and then you find the good news, only to get upset over something that happened to someone else.  Rabbit holes were made for K-pop Google searches.

Back to I-Land.  Geonu tells the sobbing Daniel, “You must debut,” before he officially leaves the show.  I didn’t really like Geonu back in Episode 1, but I respect him now and am glad things eventually sort of worked out for him. 

I am worried about Ta-Ki, though.  After this awful week, if I were him, I would purposely screw up the next test and get myself eliminated.  What time he has left on this show will be spent knowing that everyone knows he doesn’t deserve to be here.

This is where the episode ends, on a really down note.  I recommend Xanax for all viewers for the rest of these episodes, because the heartbreak has just begun.  Each test will bring another elimination.  See you next episode.

Episode 9:  Underdogs

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I-Land, Episode 7: Our First Houseguests

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(Written October 20, 2024)

Today, we get down to our final twelve and move them all to the I-Land.  I’m hoping the new I-Landers will still pop over to the Ground every now and then before they forget what trees look like.  Let’s do this.

It’s still D-Day, and we’ve moving to Part 2.  The global vote.  Ten people are going home today.  But first, we’re told that somebody has come to visit the I-Land.  After all the buildup, it had better be BTS.

Yes!  It’s BTS in the flesh!  It’s good to see them all together.  As I write this, most of them are doing their military service, and Yoongi (Suga) has been dealing with legal issues, bad publicity, and a fine of over $11,000 for driving an electric scooter while drunk.  It’s nice to rewind time and see them before all the bad stuff.  It’s also good to see them actually here on this set, walking through the gate, instead of just sending a video message.

They walk into the giant egg timer room, which they recognize right away because they’ve been watching the show.  The chairs are now numbered one through twelve according to rank.  No more name tags.  As Jin takes the Number One seat and the others tease him about it, the announcer voice booms out and welcomes them, making them almost jump right out of their skin.

Jin points to the giant egg timer and says, “Doesn’t that look like the egg of an alien?”  I’ve been saying this from the beginning – the whole place looks like an alien planet.  RM says the I-Land feels like a natural history museum.  These are not the descriptions you would expect of someone’s living quarters, so I feel vindicated.  I’d love to get their feedback on the Ground facility. 

J-hope is a big fan of the show, so he tells the others about the practice rooms and the banners overhead, but he draws a blank when he sees a glass cabinet with badges in them.  These are new.  They look like something the crew of the Starship Enterprise would wear.  There are seven of these badges.  Aha.  J-hope wonders if this means seven people will be debuting.  Yup. 

They have fun with the magnetic name plates.  Jimin and V do some choreo in the main practice room.  They remember practicing in a smaller room in their early days, and the mirrors would fog up, so they’d wipe them down with newspaper.

They check out the individual practice rooms, and we get a better view of the layout of this place.  They hang out in the lounge and then move upstairs to see the ginormous living room.  They see that the bedrooms are now numbered by rank, along with the chairs.  If I came home and found that Namjoon or J-hope had been lying on my bed, I’d frame the comforter and never wash it again. 

Soon, they find all the amenities awaiting the Top 3 ranked I-Landers in their shared bedroom, including a huge massage chair, snacks, and game machines.  The Top 3 also get a bathroom upgrade.  

As they move on through the I-Land, Jungkook tries to raid the pantry.  We learn that the twelve finalists still have 40 days to go in this facility.  We have six episodes left, including this one.  We’ve got a lot of ground to cover.

As they backtrack through the living room, the screen on the wall lights up to tell them the entrance ceremony for Part 2 is about to begin.  They all take a seat.  Namgoong Min appears on the screen.  He explains that going forward, this will be a competition of individuals.  They will be judged by top producers, including Doobu, Son Sung Deuk, Pdogg, and Wonderkid. The global viewers will decide who leaves.  And it will all be overseen by BTS Producer and our show’s fearless leader, Bang Si Hyuk.  

The producers aren’t in the control room anymore.  They’re at a judges’ table, like we’re used to seeing on these shows.  We now meet the six survivors we already know about.  They all get video introductions with background and interviews.  As they take the stage in front of the producers, their banners unfurl next to them. 

We have Sunghoon, Jungwon, Heeseung, Jay, Jake, and finally, K.  I just have to show Jay’s toddler picture below, because LOOK AT THAT CUTE FACE!  We also get to hear Jake speak English with an Aussie accent in his audition video.  I’m looking at five future members of Enhypen … and K.  They thank the producers and make their way through the gate back to the I-Land facility.  (Did BTS leave?)

Now the sixteen dropouts make their way to the stage to learn their fates.  We know two of the finalists will be Sunoo and Ni-Ki, and finally our seven bandmates will be living in the same facility.  As the dropouts stand before the producers, the six I-Lander finalists watch anxiously from their giant egg timer room.  Possibly with BTS upstairs in the living room.  Seriously, is anyone going to check to see if they’re still up there?

One by one, the dropouts are whittled down to six finalists.

Ni-Ki.  No surprise there, and not just because I know the winners.  Despite a morally shaky start, he has been a consistently strong performer and high score earner.  He’s earned the third highest number of votes, a little over two million, among all the dropout finalists.  He has definitely earned his spot. 

The announcer tells him to go through the gate to the I-Land.  So they’re sending them through one by one.  I feel like I’m watching a series finale.  I love his emotional arrival when he greets his future bandmates.  And K.

Daniel.  He’s won the second highest number of votes, 2.5 million.  Again, he’s earned high scores and given strong performances, plus he won most of the United States vote.  Because apparently Jay doesn’t exist.  Our show maknae bursts into tears and hugs the other dropouts before heading over to the I-Land.

Sunoo.  Our future Enhypen member is the top vote-getter with 2.6 million votes.  The viewers adore him.  Before this show, he’d only been training for ten months.  He’s been back and forth between the I-Land and the Ground so much this season, he probably never had a chance to unpack.  Now he gets to enjoy the I-Land facilities and bonding with his future bandmates before becoming a K-pop idol.

Okay.  Now it’s time to meet our remaining three survivors who still won’t make it to the final group.

Geonu.  He’s in fourth place with 1.9 million votes.  The I-Landers are so excited, they’re losing their minds.  They’ve been saying his name like a mantra all this time, hoping his name will be called.  He’s so stunned, he only blinks a couple of times in reaction, and his fellow dropouts have to shake him back to reality.  It’s not until he goes through the gate and is joyously greeted by the I-Landers that he finally breaks into a smile.

Ta-Ki.  He’s in fifth place with 1.7 million votes, and he’s got a new haircut that really doesn’t work on him.  He’s so stunned, he almost falls forward.  Again, the I-Landers are ecstatic.  K and Ni-Ki are especially happy.  Ta-Ki stammers out his gratitude to the viewers before walking through the gate and almost being smothered to death with hugs.

Only one spot left.  One more person will walk through the gate, and ten people are going home.  Of course, the show is going to do the cruel thing and call three semi-finalists forward and make them sweat it out for a while.  I’ll skip all that.  In sixth place, with a little over one million votes, is …

Hanbin.  Our 23 year-old Vietnamese trainee.  His nerves are so shattered at this point, he just starts crying. 

The twelve finalists come back out to hug their friends goodbye.  These finalists are going to have to go through this exhausting process one last time in just a few more episodes.  I tried looking up how many K-pop trainees get ulcers from the stress of survival reality shows, but Google was no help.  I also Googled, “Is BTS still in the living room at the I-Land?” and got the answer that all the BTS members live in South Korea.  Google thinks I’m an idiot.

As the ten eliminated trainees leave, the show tells us they will all walk a new path.  They see this another step along the way to their dreams.  Given my current view of the industry, I have very mixed feelings about this.

Namgoong Min now says he will reveal the final number of members who will debut.  In keeping with the spectacle of these shows, I expect a huge number to appear in lights over the finalists’ heads, but no.  He just casually tells us there will be seven people in the group.  We don’t even get to see the finalists’ reactions to this news.  Bang Si Hyuk will produce this final group.

Speaking of Bang Si Hyuk, will our finalists now get to meet BTS?  We’re halfway through the episode and have been building to this all series.  I would love if the finalists went upstairs and found the members of BTS sleeping in their beds.

We’re told that now the global audience will start voting for the final seven members.  Our finalists return to the   I-Land, and Hanbin is excited because he’s never been here before. 

The announcer welcomes them, and now it’s time for the rankings.  We know that the Top 3 will get the best sleeping and lounge areas, once they kick BTS out.

Suddenly, the giant egg timer lights up, and it would be so funny if a giant chicken hatched out of it right now.  The announcer tells us there will be four tests.  The first and third will be decided by the coaches/producers.  The second and fourth will be decided by the global viewers’ voting.  The I-Landers will no longer be casting any votes.  Their fates are in other people’s hands.

Only the seven who survive all four tests will be able to debut.  The announcer tells them that from now on, this is no longer a shared destiny.  It’s a competition of individuals.  The Top 7 in each test will get the special badges we saw earlier, and the ones wearing the badges, along with the Top 3 getting special accommodations, will be changed by the test results every time.

Now for the first rankings.  Let’s see who gets the badges and the swankiest accommodations.  Future Enhypen members are highlighted in yellow.

Fifth-ranked K is not happy as he watches the others in the Top 7 collect their badges.  He sits quietly seething as he stares at them.  He tells us in a confessional, “The way we think and the way the global viewers think is a bit different.” 

Wow.  That’s catty and rather unwise.  Some of the global viewers might think you’re insulting their judgement, K.  Maybe just be grateful to be in the Top 7 and wearing a badge, K.

I see another potential problem.  Sunoo is excited and smiling about his Number One spot.  Anyone familiar with these shows knows that’s not a good thing.  Common courtesy in Korea is to be humble.  Sunoo is Korean and knows this, and in his voiceover, he actually says, “I was really happy, but I tried to be tactful and not show it.”  We see him hiding his face and puffing out his cheeks to keep from smiling, but he’s not really successful.

This wouldn’t matter so much on an American show.  But we’ve seen how a segment of K-pop fans can turn on a dime, and if they decide Sunoo isn’t being humble enough, they can make him pay by voting for someone else.  If the show is giving Sunoo an evil edit, not only are they sabotaging his chances, but they’re damaging his reputation.  Part of me wonders if K is also getting an evil edit, but he’s not making any effort to hide his sour expression, and we watch him make the snarky comment about the voters in a confessional.  That’s a lot harder to explain away.

With that awkwardness still hanging in the air, the announcer shares the details of the first test.  Our finalists will perform in three units of four.  The unit with the highest total score will be safe from elimination.  If the lowest-ranking I-Lander is among the first place unit, the next lowest-ranking I-Lander will be eliminated.

Basically with this test, the coaches are looking for one person to eliminate.  I wonder if K is being set up as that person.

Now the song for the first test will be revealed.  It’s a BTS song.  Wait – is BTS gong to come downstairs now?  Not exactly.  The video screens show BTS in the upstairs living room.  But it’s not live.  BTS recorded this earlier, which probably means they’ve already left.  That’s a bummer.  I would have loved to see these finalists meet their idols.  But the finalists are beyond surprised and excited to see that BTS filmed something right upstairs in their living room, so I think they’re okay with this.  Seriously, I’m worried some of them might have a stroke.

BTS starts the video by greeting the finalists, who are too busy having collective coronaries to hear what they’re saying.  Honestly, I think even the BTS Army is starting to worry about them right now. 

In the video, V jokingly says he’s called dibs on the blue bed, and Sunoo immediately calls dibs on the same bed.  BTS says the outdoor patio also looked nice, but they couldn’t go out there because of the rain.  Now I know why they left early.  The bones were already going brittle from a lack of Vitamin D.

BTS tells the finalists that each of the three groups will be performing a different BTS song.  The first song is “I Need U.”  BTS stresses the importance of expressing the desperation of the song.  Jungkook sings a few lines to demonstrate, and we won’t need eliminations because some of our finalists are squeeing to death.  When J-hope demonstrates some of the choreo, we may need to call the Korean number for 911.

The second song is “DNA,” and now I’m the one squeeing because I love that song.  The choreo will be particularly challenging because of how frenzied it gets while still keeping all the dancers in perfect synch.  There’s also a part where the dancers cluster together, grab hands, and do a wave.

The third song is another favorite of mine, “Fake Love.”  (Fun fact:  Pdogg co-wrote and produced this song.)  This is a dark, angry song with ballet-inspired moves.  The whole song feels like a shriek of anguish, and the choreo also requires physical contact when the dancers intertwine their arms.  If I were the finalists, that’s the song I’d want to do.  It’s incredibly difficult and has high notes, so it’s a risk, but if you can successfully pull it off, you’ll impress the hell out of the judges and voters.

BTS now says there will be a mini-mission before the actual test.  The gate slowly opens.  The boys hold their breath, expecting BTS.  We’re all expecting BTS.  Is it BTS?  No.  It’s Son Sung Deuk, accompanied by a special guest, choreographer Bae Yoon Jung.  She has a loooong list of famous artists and survival reality shows she’s choreographed for. 

Bae Yoon Jung greets the boys cheerfully.  They nod dumbly in response.  She asks them some questions, and they all just stare.  She asks Son Sung Deuk if they’re always this quiet.  Oh, no.  You’d think I’d have remembered from Shining SOLO and literally all the other recaps I’ve done.  Male trainees are incapable of talking to women.  Wonho, where are you?

Our guest choreographer finally gives up and tells them what the BTS mini-mission is:  a freestyle dance battle between all the I-Landers.  This triggers even more stress in our trainees.  Some of them don’t know how to freestyle.  Ta-Ki, who has plenty of experience in freestyle, has never been in a dance battle.  Whose bright idea was this?

Everyone gathers to get this over with.  The Top 3 winners will get to choose their three teammates and which BTS song they want to perform for the test.  Bae Yoon Jung asks for the first two volunteers to battle, and everyone just stares at the floor.  I am so tired of this.  Finally, Jay steps forward.  This whole battle is just filler, so I’m going to fast-forward and find out who our winners are.

Third place is Jungwon, second is K, and first is Ta-Ki.  Everybody is shocked at Ta-Ki’s win, including Ta-Ki, but I’m not.  I may have been fast-forwarding, but I could see he was the best one.  His moves were insane.  I hope he picks the “DNA” song because it’s got that locking choreo that suits his style perfectly. 

All the I-Landers run upstairs, because I guess we’re going to pick the teams later, and they’re thrilled at what they find in the living room.  BTS has autographed an I-Land poster for them.  They’ve also left a huge pile of gifts.  As they look through the boxes, the screen lights up, and BTS appears again.

They have another gift for our I-Landers.  They’ve heard that our boys have had concerns and worries about being on this show, so they’re going to help.  Turns out that earlier, the I-Landers were told to write down questions they would like to ask BTS. 

We only get to see them respond to Hanbin’s question about losing his confidence.  BTS gives an encouraging pep talk about self-esteem, and that’s it.  Hanbin is happy, though, so I guess it’s worth it.

Now the I-Landers realize that the cushions where BTS were sitting smell like their colognes.  So now, I’m watching a group of young men smell the couch cushions.  How is this the gender that rules the world?

They open the presents, and I’ll admit that BTS was incredibly generous.  They get handwritten messages, high-end autographed sneakers, wake-up messages recorded on alarm clocks, modernized hanbok and other really nice clothes, cameras, body pillows, wooden bowls and utensils, and other autographed knickknacks.  Jay gets a huge blanket with V’s face on it.  He wraps it around his shoulders like a cape, and for the rest of the episode, whenever the I-Landers run around, I’m seeing V’s giant face bobbing along with them like a disembodied K-pop cartoon character.

Now our boys see how the room arrangements have changed, which the Top 3 getting brand new upgraded accommodations.  Here’s where we suddenly get another strange or weirdly edited reaction from first place-ranked Sunoo.  He’s excited about getting the best room and dances around, gloating about being Number One.  I know I’ve only seen a handful of these shows, but I’ve never seen a finalist act like this.

The trainees ranked four and below run to check out their rooms and are disappointed to find they’re the same as before.  Only Sunoo, Heeseung, and Daniel’s room got the upgrades.

Speaking of our Top 3, they are rejoicing in their room.  Sunoo won’t let Daniel or Heeseung use the massage chair because it’s assigned to the top-ranked I-Lander.  His bed is also bigger and adjustable using a remote control.  The other trainees come in and ask if they can use the massage chair sometimes, and Sunoo is too busy playing with the adjustable bed to respond.  I have to believe the show is editing this to make him look bad.

K, on the other hand, doesn’t need a bad edit.  He’s just being a jerk.  In a confessional, he says, “The first place went to someone who was at the Ground, and he got more votes than Heeseung.  That didn’t make sense to me.”  He has to know the voters are going to see the confessional footage.  Why is he doing this?

We skip ahead to nighttime.  K, who just won’t let it go, tells his roommates, “I don’t like the rankings.”  Heeseung, who is hanging out in his room, quickly changes the subject to the upcoming test and how nervous he is.  Now we get a flashback to the teams and songs being chosen, which makes it look like this show is also anxious to change the subject.

As the first place winner of the freestyle battle, Ta-Ki gets to choose first.  He chooses Heeseung, Sunghoon, and Sunoo.  He’s chosen all Top 7 teammates.  Smart move.  But because he chose his teammates first, Ta-Ki has to wait until it comes back around to his turn to choose the song.

K chooses next, and he picks the song “DNA.”  I’m disappointed because I really wanted to see Ta-Ki do that one. 

Jungwon is next, and he chooses the song, “I Need U.”  That leaves Ta-Ki and his team with “Fake Love.”  I know I said that would be the song to choose, but now I have misgivings.  The choreo to “Fake Love” is smooth, graceful, and dramatic.  Ta-Ki’s skills are hip-hop locking moves.  This is not a good match.  His team is also worried about the high notes in the song.

We don’t get to see which teammates K and Jungwon choose.  Instead, we cut to the next day.  Ta-Ki and his Fake Love Team are practicing with Son Sung Deuk.  They show him the choreo they’ve learned so far.  He stops them halfway through.  They’re going too fast.  They’re not on the beat.  It’s just like I feared.  They’re used to hip-hop style dancing, and this song demands something else entirely.

Son Sung Deuk scolds Ta-Ki for not being a better leader.  Later, when the group practices on their own and tries adding the vocals, they can’t.  The notes are too high. 

Three days later, we see their midpoint evaluation.  It’s still not good.  Son Sung Deuk tells them they don’t deserve the badges that three of them are wearing.  After he leaves, Ta-Ki breaks down in tears.  The pressure is getting to him.

Heeseung and Sunghoon are preparing for the worst.  Heeseung asks if Sunghoon can go back to figure skating if he’s eliminated, and Sunghoon doesn’t think so.  This whole team has a cloud of despair hanging over them.

Now we move ahead to D-Day.  They take the stage, and the episode ends.

I’m exhausted.  This has been the most eventful episode yet, and it looks like next week, Ta-Ki’s team will be honoring BTS by butchering one of their most famous songs.  At least that would take Sunoo down a peg or two, which should make K happy.

See you next episode.

Episode 8:  Heartbreak

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