Shining SOLO, Episode 7: We have our villains.

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(Written September 4, 2024)

We have a LOT to cover today, so let’s get started.  First of all, I am happy to report that Wonho officially completed his military service and immediately went on a livestream to greet his fans.  Welcome back, Wonho!  You have been missed.  Seriously.  Wait until you get a load of this show.

Okay.  On with Episode 7.  When we last left our boys, we had what passes for a love triangle in K-pop world, between bandmates Yoshi and Jung Hwan and dancer Ji Soo.  I predict the show will wisely drop this storyline before the fans revolt and Ji Soo has to quit dancing and enter witness protection. 

Dinner is over, night has fallen, and everyone is gathered in the living room.  Before we can hear their conversation, classical music fills the house.  Wait, another mission?  I was expecting the midnight clock chime for voting.

Nope, the Stairway Mailbox mission tells us it’s time for the “Secret Open Chat.”  We know the drill.  Everyone grabs a question from the box.  Jeong Woo has the first question:  “What is your charm and your biggest weakness when appealing to other people?”

Everyone goes silent.  Jeong Woo is pushed to answer first, but he doesn’t want to speak.  Why is everyone suddenly so awkward?  They were doing great at dinner.  Finally, Doyoung speaks up, saying he’s a good listener, but when he talks, he tends to overshare.

Jeong Woo tries again.  He says his charm is singing, which is kind of what I expected all the guys to lead with.  They should all just say, “I’m an idol,” to the first part of the question.  Jeong Woo says that downside is that he struggles to speak in front of women.  I do find that kind of self-awareness charming.

Out of curiosity, I went on YouTube to find videos of Jeong Woo singing solo.  I found a cover of a ballad he recorded about a year ago called “Weight in Gold.”  And wow.  He’s an incredible singer.  I expected a deeper voice, but instead, he has a heavenly tenor voice.  I see what the viewer comments are raving about.

Jung Hwan says he also struggles to speak, but he enjoys having meals with people.  Yoshi says his charm is his eyes, and while I don’t think this was the kind of charm the question was referring to, he really is stunning.  He also says his downside is shyness.  He adds something sad but understandable.  He says sometimes he gets misunderstood by people he meets for the first time.  I believe him. 

Ha Yul reads the next question.  I like this one better.  “If you could have a superpower when dating, what would you want it to be?”

Jung Hwan says he’d want to teleport and take his date on trips all over the world.  Okay, that’s cool.  But again, I think the question wanted something deeper.  Hyun Suk says, “Mine might be silly, but watching Spider-man, I became jealous about how they could watch the night view from the top of the tower.”  He wants the ability to fly so he can take his date to the top of the Empire State Building. 

While I like his answer, I wonder what the women would say.  We didn’t get an answer from them on the first question.  Ji Soo does speak up on this one.  She wants the ability to read minds.  She says it would help with “reading the other person’s feelings when they’re mad and making them feel better.”

Oh God.  She’d use that power to manage a man’s emotions for him.  She’d take responsibility for his anger.  Min Ji agrees, saying, “Knowing what they’re upset about and acting in a way to make them feel better.”

I didn’t expect this from such a fun-sounding question.  Their answers actually made me incredibly sad, and I had to take a couple of minutes to shake it off before moving on.  

I was honestly about to skip the rest of the “Secret Open Chat,” but then came the next question, “What give you butterflies,” and I want to cover this because it involves Yoshi, and it’s incredibly sweet.

One of the girls reads that question, and Yoshi perks up immediately.  Everyone looks at him expectantly, and he’s suddenly embarrassed and doesn’t want to say it.  The others encourage him, so he whispers it to Jeong Woo first.  Upon his bandmate’s insistence, Yoshi starts again and then says it might be weird.  Jeong Woo insists it isn’t.  What could it possibly be?

Yoshi finally says it.  He gets butterflies when a woman does that thing of sliding her hair back behind one ear.

Yoshi is a sweet, romantic soul, and he must be protected at all costs.

The women love his answer.  The online viewers love his answer.  His bandmates teasingly start tucking their hair behind their ears.  Ignore them, Yoshi.  There is an innocence to his answer that I was not expecting from a K-pop idol, and I actually got a bit misty-eyed.  Feminism may be dead, but romance is not.

The others give good answers too, like when someone cares for them in small ways, helps out without being asked, wants to make sure they’ve eaten.  I like these answers.  Seung Ji says she used to fall for rational types, but now she’s more drawn to “those with rich emotions.”  Kudos to the Viki translation team for that one.

Suddenly, it’s the moment I’ve been waiting for.  The clock chimes midnight.  Time for the first round of voting!  Once again, we have four jewels and four voice recorders.  The women do their thing and then disappear from the house.

Downstairs, the guys make Doyoung go first because they think he’ll win “Mr. Treasure” tonight.  “No, they usually go last,” says Doyoung.  “The last one is the main character.”  Wow.  They paid close attention to Part 1.  He finally agrees to go first.

Doyoung opens his locker.  He has a jewel.  The girl even left it on the stand so it photographs better.  He’s surprised and happy.  A producer asks who he thinks gave it to him, and he guesses Ji Soo.  We the viewers see that it was indeed Ji Soo, our ballad-loving dancer.  Interesting that she didn’t give it to Yoshi or Jung Hwan after the conflict the show tried to set up before, but I’m over it.

Ji Soo tells us she chose Doyoung because of the way he helped her in the kitchen without being asked.  They were also partners in a group game we didn’t get to see.

Doyoung goes back downstairs and tries to look sad, but his bandmates aren’t falling for it.  He won’t tell them what he got, so Jeong Woo addresses one of the cameras to ask.  He says, “Hey camera, did Doyoung get a jewel?”  The camera moves up and down to nod, which is pretty funny.

Next up, Yoshi.  If he doesn’t get a jewel, I’m setting something on fire.  He opens his locker and gets … one jewel!  Yes!  Our sweet anime vampire idol gets a jewel!  He’s so happy, he clutches it to his heart and sprawls out on the floor.

He whispers his thanks, and viewers find out Ha Yul gave it to him.  She was his partner on the grocery shopping trip, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if any of the other women had given it to him.  He’s the ultimate charming introvert.

It’s Jeong Woo’s turn.  He opens his locker to find … 

… three voice recorders.  Oof.  Poor guy.  Let’s assess the damage.

Recorder 1:  It’s Seung Ji.  “He seems introverted, so I guess the vibe wasn’t comfortable for him.”  (Again, “introvert” does NOT equal “shy,” but proceed.) “When we spoke, it was hard to continue the conversation.  I want to speak with him in a more comfortable environment.  

Recorder 2:  It’s Min Ji.  “Today, the least charming guy was Park Jeong Woo.  The reason for this is that this is a place to show charm, right?  But to do that, you have to talk about who you are.  He was a bit shy at first, so it was hard to know what kind of person he is.  So I initiated the conversation and approached him.  And then he started joking around and speaking to me first.  Seeing that, I figured he had a lot of charms within him, but he hasn’t shown it yet, and that was a bit disappointing.”

Well.  There’s a LOT to unpack here, thanks to the lack of time limit on these recorders.

Min Ji called him the least charming because she had to approach him, but once she did, (she says) he was talkative and funny, but (again, she says) she still didn’t learn anything about him.  What was he talking about all that time that revealed nothing about him?  Was he just reading aloud the ingredients on the jars of kimchi?  Min Ji is all over the map with this, and I’m pretty irritated with her.  Something tells me she’ll be the So Won of Part 2.  Steer clear of her, Jeong Woo.

Recorder 3:  This one is Ha Yul.  “I wish he made the initiative to help out in certain situations, like cooking, or just do things together as a group.  I feel like he wasn’t really proactive, and that was a bit disappointing.”

Okay, but … he DID help with cooking.  He was pretty much Min Ji’s sous chef.  In fact, he and Min Ji worked together to spice up the kimchi stew.  Did these girls get Jeong Woo confused with someone else?

We should have been warned by Ha Yul’s dark-themed sketches.  She’s really not nice.  And I don’t like Min Ji, either.  If I were Jeong Woo, I’d focus on trying to sweep Ji Soo off her feet.  Let Min Ji spice up her own damn kimchi stew.

Jeong Woo tells us he feels a bit regretful about not initiating conversations, and I hate this.  Being charming does not mean having to start every conversation.  And he probably can’t defend himself by saying he did help with the cooking, or he’ll come off looking like a whiny jerk.  I am side-eyeing the hell out of Ha Yul and Min Ji. 

Jeong Woo comes downstairs and tells his bandmates the news.  He’s laughing it off, and they’re also laughing, so hopefully this means they’re not taking it too seriously.  There are two jewels left, and Jeong Woo just doesn’t want to be the only one who doesn’t get one.  I think he won’t be.  I predict Hyun Suk gets two.

Jung Hwan’s turn.  He opens his locker to find … one jewel.  Poor Jeong Woo will be the only one who doesn’t get one. 

Jung Hwan guesses the jewel came from Seung Ji, and we learn he’s right.  She likes how helpful and cooperative he was today.

Now for the fake-out.  He also got a voice recorder.  It can only be from Ji Soo.  “Today, I felt Jung Hwan was a bit disappointing.  When it was just the two of us, I wish he had led the conversation.  I think the conversation would have lasted longer that way, but it ended up being short.  And a lot of times, his answers were quite vague.”

Tomorrow, I want the guys to do nothing but initiate conversations.  I want them to lie around in the living room and not help with anything but just yap away about anything that enters their minds.  See how charming the girls find them then.

Last up is Hyun Suk, and we already know what our fearless Leader has in his locker.  He gets a jewel.  We already know it’s from Min Ji, probably because of their hip hop connection.  She tells us, “He had the best first impression today.  Just that was charming enough for me.”

She leaves Jeong Woo a confusing ramble on how he’s a loser, but Hyun Suk gets a “charming enough” award.  I do not like this woman.

Now we cut to the next day.  The boys are leaving the house and getting onto a big red bus.  They were given mission envelopes the night before with an address to report to the next morning, and that’s where the bus was waiting.  This is a really nice bus.  BTW, I’m loving Hyun Suk’s jacket and pendant.

The boys count the seats and figure they’re going to meet at least one new girl today.  At least they all get to go out today instead of leaving three guys stuck at home.  Sure enough, a new mystery woman approaches the bus.  She gets on and takes a seat next to Yoshi.  I didn’t recognize Yoshi at first because he’s in full adorkable mode.

The new girl is Lee Min Ye.  She graduated from Seoul National University, where she majored in Chinese.  She’s currently on break from law school.

The bus departs, and we don’t know where it’s going.  The boys talk about where the other girls must be, which I’m sure makes Min Ye, who’s sitting right there, feel just great.  But then Yoshi starts a conversation with her by asking her if she has a favorite food.  Atta boy, Yoshi!  She likes simple foods, like egg dishes.  Yoshi is responsive and friendly, way more outgoing than yesterday.

The bus pulls up, and the other four girls are waiting on the sidewalk.  They hop on and greet the new girl.  Min Ji grabs the seat next to Hyun Suk.  I’m watching you, Min Ji.

The bus drives on, and the girls are talking nonstop while the guys try to get words in edgewise to prove how charming they are.

The initial conversational frenzy dies down.  Min Ji and Hyun Suk are talking, and right next to them, Jeong Woo and Ji Soo sit in awkward silence.

Finally, Jeong Woo speaks up and asks if she stays at her house while filming the show.  She says she lives nearby and then asks how yesterday went for them after the girls left.  We know he doesn’t want to tell her he got three voice recorders, so he just says he had trouble yesterday because everything was awkward, and he hates awkwardness.

The bus finally comes to a stop, and they arrive at a site for glamping.  This is camping with all the luxuries of home.  This, for example, is one of the tents:

Here, the group is going to do another Field Day.  I’m surprised we have the same number of boys and girls this time.  We need one more girl, or the Mr. Treasure vote could end in a 5-way tie.

Everyone changes into sweatpants and shirts, and Hyun Suk even manages to sparkle up athleticwear.  It may just be some jewelry and a scarf, but fashion-wise, he understands that it matters.  As they gather on the field, the classical music starts playing.  The Stairway Mailbox is here!  

Hyun Suk reads the mission.  He announces a TREASURE hunt.   Everyone must find the hidden treasure boxes scattered around the glampsite.  What they find will determine who gets paired up for a one-on-one lunch.  Finally!  One-on-one dates!  Part 2 feels like the showrunners are trying to fix things that didn’t go well in Part 1.

Ten boxes are hidden.  Five green ones for the women, five pink ones for the men.  The boxes contain keywords.  Those who pick matching keywords will have lunch dates together.

Once the boxes are found and couples are paired up, we have:

Jeong Woo and Seung Ji.  She’s the one who left him a voice recorder message saying she wanted a chance to speak with him in a more comfortable environment.  Here’s her chance.

Doyoung and Ha Yul.  These two don’t have much of a connection yet.  His jewel was from Ji Soo.  She gave her jewel to Yoshi and left Jeong Woo a recording saying he didn’t help with the cooking when he totally did.

Yoshi and Min Ji.  I’m glad this separates her from Hyun Suk for a while.       

Hyun Suk and Ji Soo.  She gave Doyoung a jewel.  She also gave Jung Hwan a voice recorder saying he wasn’t charming because he wasn’t the one to start conversations.  I hope Hyun Suk talks her ear off.

Jung Hwan and our new girl, Min Ye.  She seems nice so far.  Let’s see how this pans out.

We have our five lunch dates.  We start with Jung Hwan and Min Ye.  The lunches look really good.  I love sushi.  Min Ye wants to take a picture, but they’re not allowed to have their phones on the show.

Jung Hwan says there’s something he’s a bit upset about.  “Why do I only have two sandwiches?”  (She has three in her bowl.)  They start laughing.  She tells him she really likes TREASURE’s new song “B.O.M.B.”  Oh – was THAT why we had an episode with that name?  I check online, and yes, the cryptic episode titles are just names of TREASURE songs.  That’s confusing if you’re not already a fan, but proceed.

These two are cute together.  He tries to get her to sing.  She refuses, so he proposes a game of rock paper scissors so she has to sing if she loses.  Again, she refuses.  A hornet is buzzing nearby, and she says if he catches it with the chopsticks, she’ll sing.  He leaps out of his seat, off to do battle.  She has to convince him she’s kidding.

Moving on to Doyoung and Ha Yul.  Right away, we have some viewers who like their drink choice, Bundaberg Blood Orange Sparkling Fruit Drink.  I’m amazed the label isn’t blurred.

Doyoung admits to feeling a bit awkward on one-on-one dates.  At least he’s talking.  They talk about the treasure hunt and how Ha Yul switched boxes a couple of times.  She’s direct, asking him for his first impression of her.  She was the first woman to enter the house.  He says, “You came in with a bright smile, saying hello.  Your hair was wavy.  You looked very young.  You had that bright and positive vibe.”

Ha Yul tells us in a confessional she likes that he remembered details about her.  She found it touching, and okay, did Bundaberg pay for promotion, because they’re still not blurring the labels.  I’m not used to seeing unblurred product labels on a Korean show  It’s stressing me out, because I’m pretty sure someone is going to get sued.

Now he switches it up and asks for her first impression of him.  She said he was wearing glasses, which she’s kinda into.  Is this a regular turn-on for women in Korea?  It might explain why so many idols do photo shoots with glasses on.  She adds that he had a church boy vibe.  He is kind of wholesome-looking.

She adds, “When you were cooking, your clumsiness showed a lot.”  Okay, so she noticed he was helping with the cooking.  That’s interesting.  She says that rather than the intellectual image, she felt more comfortable with his clumsy side.  That’s sweet.  Ha Yul might be okay.  I’m still side-eyeing her, but she’s not the biggest problem among the women.

Now we go to Jeong Woo and Seung Ji in their very nice tent.  Like the others, they start off awkward and nervous, especially since they’re aware of the cameras and production crew staring at them.  Social interaction is hard enough without that kind of pressure.

She says that he reminds her of someone, another singer.  She can’t remember the name.  He laughs and says he’s been compared to an Onix.  I look it up.  If he’s talking about the Pokemon character, yeah, I kinda see it.

Our chiseled Onix Jeong Woo then asks Seung Ji about her vote yesterday.  He had to have recognized her voice on the recorder.  He asks her who got her jewel.  Are those questions even allowed?  I know they can ask about the recorders because their voices aren’t disguised, but I thought the guys weren’t supposed to know about the jewels until the final night.

Seung Ji hesitates, probably wondering if the production team is going to intervene.  She asks, “Is it okay to talk about that?”  The editing team on this show is doing a STELLAR job.

Feeling bold, Jeong Woo says, “Why not?”  He tells her that yesterday, he received “a” recorder.  She pretends (poorly) to be surprised, and he laughs and says, “You’re pretending like you don’t know.”  She keeps trying to pretend she doesn’t know, and I wish the women on this show would just stop it.  Don’t leave criticism if you’re not willing to say it to his face.

“How many recorders do you think I got?” asks Jeong Woo.  (A reminder to our studio audience:  the answer is three.) 

“None, I guess,” Seung Ji says.

“You know I got at least one!” he challenges her.  She digs her heels in and still pretends not to know, and the gaslighting is actually working.  “Really?  Am I wrong?” he asks.

He tells her he got three voice recorders, and she is not going to win any reality survival show challenges for face acting.  I am so done with this.

Finally, she does cop to it.  She says she gave the recorder to him because out of the five, she wanted to give it to the one she wanted to talk more with.  Interesting save.  Let’s see how it works.

It does seem to work.  He’s flattered.  I bang my forehead on my desk a few times, and then we move on.

Time to check in on Yoshi and the loquacious Min Ji.  Yoshi starts the conversation.  He says, “Initially, I thought you were the coolest at first sight.  You seemed easygoing.”  

She’s pleased.  If I roll my eyes any harder, I’ll be looking at my brain.

She asks him what his Korean name is.  He’s a bit shy to say but eventually opens up.  His family name is Kim, from the Gyeongju Kim family, followed by “Bang” from the word for “escape,” and “Jeon” from the word “electric.”  So his Korean name is Kim Bang Jeon.  I’m missing a lot because it’s a cultural thing, but I appreciate the Viki translators for trying.

Min Ji says the name is cute and asks if she can call him Bang Jeon from now on.  Yoshi is reluctant, because “Bang Jeon” literally means “losing power.”  Before we can see how this gets resolved, the show realizes it’s running out of time and cuts to Hyun Suk and Ji Soo.

I’m not surprised that this date is going fine.  Hyun Suk has no trouble keeping a conversation going.  They talk about their families and how they both get along with their siblings.  If I were Hyun Suk’s sister, I’d also make sure to get along well with him so I could borrow his clothes.

He asks her about dancing.  She says something interesting.  She’s been doing Korean dance her whole life, and because she’s been walking this path for so long, she’s afraid to try something new.  At first, I think she means she’s afraid to try a different style of dance, but then she says, “So, if it’s not dance, I’m like, what should I do?”

Hyun Suk says he considers her a Master, which is a kind thing to say, and she changes the subject to his singing.  But I want to hear more from her about her fear of taking a new path.  Unfortunately, this is where the episode ends. 

Questions for discussion:

1. Did you assume there was a time limit on those voice recorders?  There should be, right?
   
   
2. Should the guys have attorneys to defend them against some of the accusations they’re getting on these recorders? 
   
   
3. Hey, wait.  Isn’t the new girl in law school?  (checking notes)  Yes, yes she is.  How can we get her to help with this?

Your answers are due next episode.  Class dismissed.

Episode 8:  Everything is terrible.

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No Mercy: Episode 10: Confetti at a Funeral

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(Written on March 28, 2024)

Settle in, class, because we have a LOT to cover today.  It’s the final mission and the reveal of Monsta X.  We’ll find out what happened to those who were cut from the show. We will also learn how this show revealed way more about the Korean psyche than I had expected.  (I had expected none.)  It’s been a lot, so let’s just dive right in.

We kick off with a highlight reel.  The original twelve.  The K-pop Thunderdome.  The sailor hats.  The cranky expert guy (remember him?), the abs, the rotating number badges, the confessionals, the slingshot move, the shopping districts, the amusement park, the barbecue, the timelines from hell.  I can’t believe I’ve covered all this in a two-week period.  Seriously, I just looked at the calendar, and I wrote the Episode One recap two weeks ago.  I was so young and well-rested then.

So now we’ve arrived at the CJ E&M Center.  The show has built a whole new stage for the finale. 

 

This place is HUGE.  Exactly how big is this television station?  Never mind – that’s not important.  Do you realize what this MEANS?  (tingling with excitement)  It means I get to come up with a new venue name!  Let’s see … the stage is massive, with tall LED panels reaching to the ceiling and glowing steps leading from a higher stage in the back to the main stage up front.  This is wild.  This is exciting.  It’s big enough for chariot races. This is … THE K-POP HIPPODROME.

Oh come on, that’s a great name.  I originally was going to name it the K-pop Big Top, so consider yourselves lucky. 

Back to the show.  Our boys, dressed in black and white outfits, are waiting backstage to perform for the crowd they can hear screaming and cheering.  There are 600 people in the audience this time.  We see them lined up around the block with their banners and lightsticks and signs and cute animal masks.  We watch them file into the Hippodrome and surround the stage.  A lot of their signs glow in the dark, which is really cool. 

 

When everyone is in, the lights go down to start the show.  Are we really moving forward with this?  No flashbacks?  Dare I hope?  YES!  The LED screens light up to introduce our trainees like they are already major K-pop stars.  We are watching a live concert about to begin.  This is over the top, and I love it.  Stage fireworks shoot up into the air.  No Mercy did not skimp on the stage production.

The LED doors open, and our nine trainees stand like rock stars before their adoring fans.  I know it’s the end of the line for #GUN and Seokwon, but at least they get to be a part of this amazing performance and see how much the fans love them.

Hyolyn is back at the judges’ table, as well as Mad Clown, a guy I’m actually going to miss.  What a weird dude.  We get some information flashed on the screen, saying that these finalists have survived three months of missions.  Three months of living crammed together in that dorm, rehearsing at the North Pole, doing confessional interviews, being told by their own mentors that they’re terrible and deserve to be eliminated … (sniff)  good times.

K.will welcomes the crowd.  We learn that the winners will be chosen by 50% audience votes and 50% judges’ votes.  And, of course, because No Mercy loves faking us out, we are doing a flashback after all.  I will not miss the raging alcoholics at No Mercy who created this show’s timeline.  I hope they all find recovery. 

Our trainees are at a photo shoot for 1st Look Magazine with their celebrity mentors.  This magazine features famous celebrities and models, so they’re very excited to be included.  They look amazing, as always.  We then move to the North Pole for final mission rehearsals.  Junggigo meets them there.  He tells them that in order to find the seven who will form our final band, the mssion will be a 3:3:3 unit battle.  And the teams are:

We start with Unit 3.  At first, I’m a little concerned that Hyungwon’s low, mellow, smooth vocals wouldn’t hold up against the combined force of Jooheon and I.M’s rapping, but it sounds like they’re trading lines.  I can’t wait to see the final performance. 

We see our team backstage at the Hippodrome.  I.M says, “I wish people would see me as No Mercy’s I.M instead of the guy who came in midway through.”  I.M, soon they will be seeing you as the savage maknae of Monsta X.

Time for the performance.  They are doing Yella Diamond’s “Interstellar.”  We start in pitch darkness with a single flashing light in the middle of the stage.  A slow, sexy beat brings Jooheon to the stage as the LED walls show a universe exploding around him.  The beat picks up, he starts to rap, and we are off and running.

Hwungwon joins him and trades lines – a smooth vocal and then a rap line, and back and forth.  I love it.  Then the LED doors slide open, Jooheon yells out I.M’s name, and here he comes, rapping, “No mercy, OK I have no mercy.”  Chills.  Total chills.

The crowd is swept up in this. Hyungwon comes back and holds his own against the power rap duo.  He’s the smooth, soulful center that the rappers swirl around, physically and vocally.  He looks more confident than I’ve ever seen him on this show.  The song is a total groove, and it’s over far too soon.

The judges, who are giving their critiques in front of the audience, agree with me about Hyungwon’s confidence, and I love seeing him get singled out for praise.  They loved the whole performance.  This and the prison break are my two favorite performances from this series. 

Now for Unit 1:  Kihyun, Wonho, and Seokwon.  They’ve chosen the song “Hug Me,” by Crush.  We see them rehearsing with the female dancers.  (These dancers were also with Unit 3, but they mostly marched around in space uniforms with blank expressions, like the models in Robert Palmer’s “Addicted to Love” video, so I didn’t mention them.  They really weren’t necessary.) 

Wonho is in full flirt mode with the dancers.  Kihyun and Seokwon are blushing and stammering, which is kind of weird for K-pop idols.  Later, when they are in a confessional together, Wonho says the theme will be “sexy.”  Seokwon agrees and then blushes again.  Wonho demands to know how Seokwon is going to pull off “sexy” if he keeps blushing like that.  “I mean, I’m BORN sexy,” Wonho says.  “I’m NATURALLY sexy, so I don’t know how to ACT sexy.” 

Wonho, as someone writing from the future, I am happy to report that you have not changed.  I’m hoping you never will.

We go back to the Hippodrome, and our boys are dressed in all black.  Wonho stands up, and his jeans are so tight, I don’t know how he was able to sit in the first place.  They hit the stage, and we’re swept up in a steamy R&B grind.  Kihyun and Seokwon seem to have found their swagger, and of course, Wonho is in his element.  The girls in the audience are swooning.

The dancers are way better utilized in this performance.  In Unit 3’s performance, they felt more in the way.

There’s an interlude where the guys dance in a maze of green lasers, and it’s electrifying.  I really hope this is an age 20+ show.  This is the sexiest I’ve seen Wonho all season, and he doesn’t show his abs once.  

When it ends, the girls in the first few rows may need medical attention.  Mad Clown is the first judge to weigh in, and he has nothing but praise.  Now I may need medical attention.  He says he “had a lot of fun” watching the performance, and then he smiles.  Mad Clown, you are a deeply bizarre man.  I do hope our paths cross again in my recaps.

Okay, now for Unit 2:  Minhyuk, Shownu, and #GUN.  We flash back to rehearsals.  I will not miss the North Pole.  When No Mercy packs up and leaves this place, it needs to be torn down and replaced with a tanning salon.  Anyway, Unit 2 renames themselves Age Flip as the result of a rock/paper/scissors game, the stakes of which I do not understand, and I’m pretty sure if the translator writing the subtitles tried explaining it, my screen would just be a wall of text.

The song they have chosen is “So Good” by Jay Park.  I like the song, but it’s obvious why #GUN is going to be eliminated.  The poor guy just isn’t a dancer.  He needs to debut as a solo rap artist.

We get to the stage.  This is the most elaborate set design yet – a city street with a marquee and street lights.  They have male dancers this time.  This is a bright, happy pop song.  This puts me in such a good mood.  They throw roses out to the audience, and I’m surprised none of these girls have been carried out on stretchers yet. 

The performance is not as high-energy as the first two.  The song choice may be partially to blame since it’s not very challenging.  It just feels a little off.  Even watching backstage, Jooheon comments, “Shownu tried to be a lot brighter than he is.”

The feedback from the judges is the same.  Honestly, if I were watching No Mercy when it first aired back in 2015, my predictions for the eliminated trainees would be #GUN and Shownu.  Thankfully, the judges see the potential in Shownu better than I would have.

Hyolyn says that #GUN should have worn a suit like the other two.  The writing is clearly on the wall for #GUN.  I respect him for trying the boy band thing, but he’s more of a hardcore rapper.

It looks like we are going to get one more performance from the entire group of trainees. We flash back to the North Pole, where Shownu, Jooheon, and Wonho are  watching music videos for inspiration.  One of the videos is EXO’s “Overdose,” which is one of my favorite songs and videos from that group.  EXO is also one of the first groups that got me into K-pop, so this is a nice bit of nostalgia. 

Back to the Hippodrome. K.will announces the final group performance.  The song is “No Exit” by Rhymer.  The stage lighting is stunning.  The dancing is stunning.  This looks and sounds like an honest-to-God Monsta X song.  The pyrotechnics kick the energy up even higher.

It’s a brilliant final performance, ending with a real bang.  I can feel their exhilaration and exhaustion as they take their final bows.  Rhymer, one of the judges, praises their performance and says, “If you get eliminated, come to Brand New.”  Wow.  That’s his own label.   

We all know what’s next.  Time for the voting.  The members line up onstage and say their final words of thanks.    I really think Hyungwon believes he won’t be in the final group.  There’s a quiet resignation about him.  I’m getting that vibe from Minhyuk as well.

They go backstage and wait while the audience and judges vote.  Each ballot has all nine trainees’ faces, and voters mark the seven they want to be in the group.  The production team interviews some of the women in the voting audience (I hardly see any men).  They offer words of support and encouragement to their favorites.  Finally one girl just shrieks, “Goooooo!”  Yes, sister!  I’ve felt that way all season.  Let’s do this already.

I’m guessing the judges heard this woman from all the way in the balcony, because they decide it time to form the band.  The trainees return to the stage.

Now, here’s where the vibe drastically changes.  The audience is not there when the judges announce the winners.  The room is silent except for the tense music No Mercy plays over the proceedings.  I was expecting the audience to be there to cheer the winners.  Without them, this whole thing feels different.  Yes, seven trainees are finally about to debut and have their dreams realized.  But two of them are about to be devastated in a way that only K-pop trainees can understand, and the silence of the room is really underscoring that.

In American shows, contestants audition, and if they get picked and don’t win at the end, they may be upset, but it was a fun ride for however long the show lasted.  On Korean shows like No Mercy, these are trainees who have been in the system for years.  This is a chance they’ve sacrified their youth to finally get access to, and if they don’t make it, they have to question whether it’s worth putting themselves back into the system again.  This is a way of life that doesn’t really happen in American show business. 

As an American, I could spend my entire life trying to make it into show business in Los Angeles or New York, but I would decide my own schedule.  I would have a personal life while deciding what auditions to go on, which part-time job to take to keep me financially afloat, and when to take days off so I don’t burn out.  That is not the life of a K-pop trainee.  If you make it into the trainee system of an entertainment company in Korea, they own you.  They own your time, your energy, how many hours you sleep, and whether or not you get one or two precious days off a year.  Many trainees have their cell phones taken away.  I can’t think of any system in the United States that does that, or even if it would be legal for them to do that.  As with many other things I’ve seen on this show, there would be lawsuits.

So when the winners on No Mercy are chosen, it’s not a huge spectacle.  When a winner’s name is announced in this finale, the winner does not cheer and dance, because it means that the other trainees just watched another spot get taken away, and the winning trainee is VERY aware of that.  This may be an extreme way of describing it, but to me, it looks like survivor’s guilt is mixed with the shock of realizing they’ve won.  And to help preserve whatever dignity they can for these trainees, the show takes the audience out of the room.

I wanted to write all this to explain where my head was at while watching the winners get announced.  So now that I’ve turned this into a total bummer, let’s see one of the best K-pop groups in music history come together!  Yay?

K.will gets ready to announce the final winners.  Each one will walk down the steps and stand on a lighted platform.  The announcements begin:

Number One:  Jooheon.  Boy, did he keep that promise to guard his Number One spot.  All the way to the end.  He bows, thanks the judges, and makes his way down to the first platform.

Number Two:  Shownu.  He looks stunned.  No more standing back to watch others debut and walk away, surrounded by fans.  It’s finally his turn.  Not only is he about to debut, he’s going to be a dad to six crazy kids.

Number Three:  Kihyun.  Makes sense that the mom would be next.  He is overcome with relief.

Number Four:  Hyungwon.  I really wanted to see his reaction.  Those beautiful eyes widen in shock. 

Number Five:  Wonho.  And now I’m about to cry.  All I can think about is his mom.  He’s fighting back tears.  And it’s at this point that #GUN knows.  I can see it in his face. 

Number Six:  I.M.  When his name is first called, we don’t get a close-up shot of his face because he’s got his hood pulled up, and besides, his reaction is in the way he staggers backward a step.  He seems dizzy.  He collects himself and takes his place on the platform, keeping his head down. 

Number Seven:  Minhyuk.  He’s frozen in shock.  Seokwon has to nudge him to get him to move.

Seokwon and #GUN are devastated.  Just a few feet in front of them, all the spaces are taken.  They both thank the judges for the opportunity and leave the stage.  

We are left with seven shell-shocked trainees, and I’m realizing that they are still not a band.  They will need to bond and become a family.  Right now, they’re a mess.  Kihyun struggles to speak and then just bends over in tears. Jooheon, who has been looking back hopefully at #GUN after each name is called, turns his back to the camera as he cries over his friend not being chosen.  I.M keeps his hoodie on and his head down.  Even the judges look drained.  This is the most traumatized winners circle I’ve ever seen.

K.will tells our band that there’s a lot of work ahead of them.  The debut may be guaranteed, but not the success.  The judges congratulate them, and now silver confetti rains down from the ceiling.  It’s a bit jarring, like a celebration at the scene of an accident.  Our idols-to-be shake off the survivor’s guilt and transition into people who realize they get to call their parents with the good news.

We do get to end on an upbeat note, one that brings a smile to my face.  Offscreen, the group has been told the name of their band.  They gather in front of the camera to introduce themselves with their band name.  They are clumsy, all bowing at different times, completely out of sync.  They laugh, and Jooheon says, “We’re a mess!”  But they pull it together, and we get this great shot:

And boy, did the fans ever support Monsta X.

Okay, so let’s find out what happened to the trainees who got eliminated along the way, according to what I can find on the web.

Kwangji and Yoosu
After being eliminated in Episode 5, both Kwangji and Yoosu completed their military service.  Both have been mostly quiet since then.  According to posts on his Instagram account, Kwangji seems to be building a small home studio. 

Minkyun (Mosquito)
Minkyun was eliminated in Episode 7, but he’s doing fine.  He moved from Starship to WM Entertainment, took the stage name MK, and debuted with a group called ONF (pronounced “on and off”).  He’s a lead vocalist and sub rapper with the group, and according to Wikipedia, he eventually dropped the stage name and went back to using his real name, Minkyun.  He did have to put his career on hold to complete his military service.  He was discharged in June 2023, and ONF made a comeback in October 2023.  As I type this, ONF will be releasing their eighth EP Beautiful Shadow in just a few weeks.

Yoonho (the fossil)
Yoonho was eliminated in Episode 9, after being the first one to show kindness to I.M and surviving that weird prank his bandmates played on him.  He also left Starship and joined A Team Entertainment, and after so many years as a trainee, he joined a group called VAV (Very Awesome Voice) in 2017.  The band had already debuted, and he took the stage name Ayno.  He had a big role as the group’s main rapper, dancer, vocalist, and visual.  They had some moderate success and won a couple of awards in 2018 and 2019.  However, just last month, A Team Entertainment announced that they were terminating the group’s contract.  No word on what Yoonho will be doing next, but I’m rooting for him.

#GUN
Good news here.  #GUN stayed at Starship, and happily, he debuted in 2016 as a solo rapper.  He has released several singles, his first one (“Crazy Guy”) making it to number five on the South Korean music charts.  He also did two collaborations with Mad Clown (that really surprised me) and others in 2016, with one song going to number twelve and the other to number six.  As far as I can tell, he’s still making music, and I hope his mother and grandmother are happy and well. 

Seokwon
Things initially went well for Seokwon.  After No Mercy, he got his military service out of the way, and then he moved from Starship to RAIN Company.  He finally debuted in March 2021 with a group called Ciipher. He was the group’s lead vocalist under the stage name Tan.  Ciipher had a couple of their songs hit the top ten on the South Korean charts.  They also won a Korea Culture Entertainment Award in 2021.  However, in August 2023, he and several other members left the group.  I can’t find what he’s doing now, but thanks to the overabundance of information about K-pop celebrities available online, I can tell you that his blood type is B.  Tragically, his Myers-Briggs Personality Type is not available. 

Next up, I will be recapping Wild Idol, the show with real outdoor survival challenges that brought us the group TAN.  I will be taking a break first to go outside and touch some grass.  I’ll be back in early April.  

Whew.

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