Sunday, September 7, 2025

Double Date with ATEEZ, Episode 5: Wonderland


(Written September 7, 2025)


A true sign of how invested I am in this show is the fact that I really hope Jongho and Yeosang catch a fish today.  Yes, we’ll be going back to the amusement park and possibly learning more about San’s obsessive deal with Yeosang, but I’m looking forward to justice for these two.  They’ve lost a metric ton of bait.  I just know those fish are laughing at them.  And I’ve got a weird feeling that Jongho will turn out to be my bias in this group.  Welcome to Episode 5, ATINY!

We open with Seonghwa telling us ATEEZ has been on six world tours, which sounds insane.  They debuted barely six years ago.  I can’t imagine the physical toll that takes on them.  Seonghwa tells us, “This is my first time saying this.  I don’t have any religion, but I pray before going onstage.  I pray that nobody gets hurt that day, and that for those who came to the show, it wasn’t for nothing.”  He’s a little embarrassed admitting this, but as an agnostic, I find him relatable.

Back at the food court, he and San get another Hidden Ask question on their phones while munching on their churros.  (In the studio, Mingi says it would be more romantic if they ate one churro together, Lady and the Tramp-style.)  This question is one I was just thinking about while watching the clips of their concert footage:  “What was the hardest time for you, when you felt like collapsing?”

Both agree it’s when they’re on tour.  Each show runs about three hours.  I looked up the dates for their most recent tour and was glad to see there’s been a minimum of three days between each concert.  

In a confessional, San says they’ve done 44 shows on this most recent tour.  They perform every show like it’s their last, keeping in mind that for some audience members, it’s their first.  Keep eating those churros, boys.  You need the carbs.

They get another text.  I’m expecting another Hidden Ask, but no.  Something’s up.  One more ride has been added to their amusement park date, and it’s the haunted house.  Neither one is thrilled about this.  I’m not a fan of those either, but it should make for some great screenshots.  Come on, boys.  Put on your big boy boxers and let’s do this.

San is not going without a fight.  “I don’t want to!” he wails.  “Last time, I hit a staff member in the stomach and had to apologize!”  San has some serious arm muscles.  I hope that staffer didn’t wind up in the hospital.  Then we find out the staffer was actually one of the ghost actors.  Please tell me there’s footage of this somewhere.

San really doesn’t want to do this.  He’s actually pouting.  It’s so funny how this muscle-bound jimseung-dol is the cutest little thing right now.  

Another text notification.  No haunted house – the staff was just kidding.  I’m guessing they don’t want us to see San beat up another staff member.  Instead, it’s off to the Spanish Pirate Ship.  The boys are so relieved, they need to take a break for a few minutes to recover from the stress. 

I totally get it.  As a kid, my sister made me go on the haunted house ride at the Myrtle Beach Pavilion with her.  This is what the outside of that ride looked like:

I spent that entire ride with my eyes tightly shut.  My sister says I tried to punch her when the ride was over.  If that’s true, it served her right.

Just when we think we’re safe from any potential violence, San finds out that Mingi is the one who told the production crew to have him do the haunted house.  We cut to Mingi waiting to go paragliding, and he’s telling the crew, “San’s a real scaredy-cat.  He’d be acting all cute.”  Then both Mingi and Yunho do an impression of San’s cute act, and I’m dying because it is so spot-on.

Mingi isn’t done.  “Jongho has a lot of expectations,” he tells the staff, explaining that Jungho likes extreme things like haunted houses.  “Don’t make him do extreme stuff.  Just seated activities.”

We then cut to Jungho’s pottery date, and Mingi is so MEAN.

Jongho, seen here making a bat to clobber Mingi with

 
Moving on.  We join Hongjoong and Wooyoung on their shopping date for vintage clothes.  Wooyoung is clearly worn out after all the water sports, and on top of that, we learned in the last episode that he doesn’t like vintage clothes OR Hongjoong’s driving.  He then has a sneezing fit in the shop.  These two have gone from potential Best Date winners to possibly needing to call an ambulance.

Hongjoong, on the other hand, is having a great time finding clothes for Wooyoung, dressing him like a mannequin.  As soon as Wooyoung puts something on, Hongjoong has him take it off and try something else.  Clothes fly through the air.  Finally, they settle on outfits and take pictures for the other members to vote on.   

For me, it’s Hongjoong, hands-down.  He looks great in jackets.

It’s already dark out when they leave the shop.  Because of the earlier trying-on frenzy, Wooyoung isn’t even sure what he has in his shopping bag but is pretty sure he doesn’t like any of it.  “Whatever, just wear what I give you,” Hongjoong responds.  I like this bossy look on our captain.

They post the photos to the group chat for voting.  As they prepare to drive away, they get another text notification.  Their day isn’t over yet.  They’re getting a Hidden Date.  Off they go, following the map coordinates.  We’re only halfway through the series, so I was wondering how they were going to keep these dates going.

On the way, they get the Hidden Ask question about when they felt like they were going to collapse.  Right away, Wooyoung says, “Summer Sonic.”  This was a festival in Japan they played in 2024.  I looked it up, and what a wildly varying group of performers.  Along with ATEEZ, they had American rock band Hoobastank, Scottish indie pop group Belle and Sebastian, rapper Lil Yachty, and the heavenly, soulful vocalist Olivia Dean.  (Olivia Dean has a new album coming out later this month, and I’m desperately hoping the song “Keep On” is on it.  That song has been featured on some television show soundtracks but hasn’t been released as a single yet, and I love it so much.)

Sorry.  Got off track there.  The Summer Sonic festival was held in August, one of the hottest, muggiest months of the year in Japan.  Hongjoong says he actually fainted from the heat, and Wooyoung got hives.  Add that kind of stress to the physical demands they’re already making of their bodies when they tour, and I don’t know how they survive it.

ATEEZ at Summer Sonic

 
We now cut to our Twin Towers, Mingi and Yunho, fresh from their landing after paragliding.  They get a new Hidden Ask.  “Was there a time when you felt like you were connected with your bandmates, even if you didn’t say it?”

Yunho says this happens onstage all the time, and I believe it.  Six years of performing together through exhaustion and extreme weather and hives and fainting will create a strong bond.  It must be like a marriage forged in fire, with eight spouses.

They get another question about their best days.  Yonho is still on a high from the paragliding.  For Mingi, it was after the performance at Coachella, when they got to meet other famous artists, like Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift.  Being able to meet artists he’d looked up to for years was a surreal experience.  As he’s talking, I remember that KPOPPED is currently airing on Apple TV, and ATEEZ is meeting even more legendary artists.  I’ve always thought it would be cool to meet Kylie Minogue.  ATEEZ got to perform with her.

Their phones buzz again with notifications of their Hidden Date, and they hop back into their yellow Porsche.  Mingi’s driving this time.  We get a great shot of one of the camera drones floating in front of the car as they pull out of the parking space.

On the way, they get a Hidden Ask question about favorite memories.  Yunho talks about winning their first M Countdown award in 2019. Back in the studio, Wooyoung tells us that after that win, the CEO of KQ Entertainment had special trophies made and sent them to their parents.  Everything I learn about KQ makes me like them more.  Especially after I see the footage of the boys being presented with a cake after the win.  Cake is the best.  I love cake.  I wish I were eating it right now.

Sorry, where was I?  Right, this episode.  We cut to Jongho and Yeosang, fishing lines still in the water, where I assume the fish are lying at the bottom of the river in food comas and asking for to-go boxes.  They get notifications of their Hidden Date.  They pack up the rest of Yeosang’s chocolate birthday cake with strawberries (GOD I LOVE CAKE) and drive off in their Porsche. 

As they drive through the night, all the group members back in the studio talk about when they first debuted, their first performances, their first videos.  We learn that they shot their first videos on location in the Sahara Desert because KQ didn’t have the budget to use CGI instead.  It was actually cheaper to send them and the crew on a 30-hour journey to the desert.   They have come a long way in a short time.  Now they can probably afford to have the Sahara packed up and brought to them.

ATEEZ filming in the Sahara

 
Back to the amusement park and the pirate ship ride.  As great as it is to have the entire park to themselves, I think they’re missing out by going on this ride without other people.  Part of the thrill of rides like this is everyone screaming at once. It’s a shared adrenaline rush. 

Still, this should be fun.  Strap on those glowing armbands and let’s go!


I swear, they’re screaming in harmony.  And San can really hold a note.  As the ride slows down, they start dancing, and the other members in the studio scold them for spoiling some of the choreo for their single “Shaboom.”

Back to Hongjoong and Wooyoung as they arrive at the Hidden Date destination.  It’s the Grand Walkerhill Hotel in Seoul, a 5-star luxury resort.  Wow.  Princess Mingi’s gonna be so jealous.


They settle into the 16th floor lounge overlooking the city.  Watching the footage, Mingi says it’s the perfect spot for a marriage proposal.  For all his swagger, Mingi is going to be a very romantic husband someday.

Hongjoong points out the window to the Han River and says, “Just six hours ago, we were drowning over there.” 

The wait staff brings them platters of amazing-looking food, rivaling the menu from San and Seonghwa’s omakase date.  


It all looks so good.  Will they be getting cake afterward?  Cake would make it perfect.

They order two Old Fashioneds instead of cake, which I guess is almost as good.  They find out the lobster alone at this meal costs 400,000 won (about $288 USD).  Wow.  Thanks to ATEEZ’s success, KQ Entertainment has CGI money now.

Now back to Jongho and Yeosang en route to their Hidden Date.  Jongho says he really needs a drink.  Good thing, because they pull up at a playfully-decorated restaurant with a SERIOUS bar.  It’s called Yangpyeong old-style raw fish place, according to the translation.



I find it really funny that the show is sending them to a place where they can eat fish caught by people who actually succeeded in catching fish.  After several hours of fruitlessly baiting hooks, I don’t think I’d be in the mood for seafood.  And didn’t they just finish eating a ton of ramyeon and birthday cake?  Where are they putting it all?

The food does look amazing, though.  I’d make room.

The food looks so good, our boys in the studio are jumping out of their seats and yelling.  San demands to know where this restaurant is.  Please tell him before he punches someone.


Jongho does some Soju shots between bites of fish, and his bandmates in the studio are in jealous agony, demanding that he describe the taste of every bite.  They are writhing and moaning in their seats.  Is this what Koreans consider porn?

As they savor the food, Jongho and Yeosang talk about the last time they went out with Wooyoung and got plastered.  “That was a pork belly place?” Yeosang asks, trying to remember.

“You don’t remember?” Jongho asks incredulously. 

“I only remember the alcohol,” Yeosang admits.  Jongho says they drank 21-degree Soju that day.  I looked it up.  That kind of Soju is 21% alcohol by volume.  American beer has between four and eight percent.  

“You, me, and Wooyoung drank six bottles,” Jongho says.  “Wooyoung and I carried you out of there, laid you down in your hotel room, took off your clothes, covered you with a blanket, and left.” 

God bless KQ Entertainment for not muzzling their artists during interviews. 

Back to the amusement park, where San and Seonghwa are drunk on dopamine after the Pirate Ship ride.  Now they’re gearing up for the ultimate ride, the French Revolution, where they will put their heads in actual guillotines.  I think.  I have no idea what that ride is.

Turns out, it’s an indoor roller coaster that makes the Atlantis ride look like a snooze on the merry-go-round.



At first, I couldn’t tell if Seonghwa was screaming, but then all the neighborhood dogs started gathering around my window and howling.  That man has some serious pipes.

Of course, they get to ride a second time, and the episode ends here.  That was fun.  Next week, we’ll find out what our other two Hidden Dates are and hopefully hear more tales of drunken debauchery about our Pirate Kings.  And cake. Hopefully, we’ll get more cake.  See you then!


Episode 6:  Say My Name


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