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(Written October 2, 2024)
Hello, Enhypen fans! Before we start, let’s get something out of the way. Yes, The I-Land is also the name of a wonderfully bad show on Netflix. It comes up every time I try to Google information about the K-pop reality show. The Netflix show was clearly trying to be the next LOST and failed on a bewildering level. Check it out if you like so-bad-it’s-good shows. Alex Pettyfer from Magic Mike is in it.
Moving on. I mentioned that the name of the YouTube channel bringing us this show is “Enhypen © Engene.” Engene is Enhypen’s fandom name. There’s more than one overly detailed explanation of the meaning, so common to K-pop, that I won’t get into right now. Also, a quick apology for the quality of the screen shots we’ll be getting. I’ll try to find screen grabs elsewhere if I can, but we’re working with a YouTube upload here. I’ll do my best to clean them up.
Our host’s name is Namgoong Min. I looked him up – he has an impressive resume. He’s a South Korean actor, director, and screenwriter. He’s been on a long list of shows, won an equally long list of awards for acting and directing, and even hosted SNL Korea in 2016. The K-pop group TVXQ sang at his wedding.
Mr. Namgoong tells us those
on the I-Land who dream of being an idol can grow on their own and break out of
their eggs. “It’s a perfectly evolved
space for survival competition that has been designed for a long time,” he
says. We get a screen full of camera
views of this place, and wow. I see a
gym, a fully-stocked kitchen, lounges, sleeping rooms, and practice rooms. The décor is a bit too cold and sci-fi,
though. Maybe install some bright carpet
here and there, or put up an accent wall.
Our host tells us there are only two rules in I-Land. Limited time, and one’s own choices. Their own choices will determine their fate. I’m pretty sure that’s true for all humans, but go on. He then says it’s time to meet our coaches. Yes! Let’s see who’s on the celebrity team whipping these trainees into shape.
I’ve mentioned Rain before in these recaps. He’s a huge deal. He’s one of the biggest artists in South Korea and has legendary status, kind of like how Prince was and still is to Americans. He’s a singer, songwriter, dancer, actor, and producer who has sold millions of albums, won lots of awards, and was named one of Time’s 100 most influential people in the world in both 2006 and 2011. This show is going hardcore with its celebrity coaches.
Our final coach is Zico, a big name in Korean hip-hop. He debuted as part of the K-pop group Block B, whose songs we’ve seen covered on other survival shows I’ve recapped. He runs his own label, KOZ Entertainment. It looks like this is the last show he filmed before starting his military service.
This is a really impressive trio of coaches, which will probably be intimidating for the 23 trainees we’re about to meet. We get a screen in front of a huge stone egg showing their pictures unfurling on banners. The whole thing looks like something out of The Hunger Games.
With the introductions and
setup over, our show officially begins. The
coaches gather in a dark control room with its cold, angular décor. They greet each other and talk excitedly
about the days ahead. Their conversation
is then interrupted as 37 monitors flicker to life in front of them, showing
all the rooms in the I-Land. Our
trainees will be monitored from this control room. This is really kind of creepy, but then
again, trainees are filmed 24/7 on all the other shows as well. We’ve just never seen those control rooms.
It does gets a little uncomfortable
when Bang Si Hyuk says the trainees don’t know about the control room. Given Korea’s laws about filming people, the
trainees must have had to sign a mountain of release forms. He tells Rain and Zico that while they’re
watching these guys eat, sleep, do laundry, and exercise, they should focus on
the guys not as they are now, but on their potential.
The main screen in the center shows them the beautiful pathways outside that cut through the woods, and I just want to flee this room and go out there. Our first unit of trainees are approaching the I-Land. They are very nervous. We get onscreen cards showing their names, but they aren’t translated. The coaches identify one of them as Jake, and we know he is one of the eventual members of Enhypen.
Bang Si Hyuk says he found this Korean-Australian trainee in a worldwide audition. I Googled Jake. He was born in South Korea, but his family moved to Australia when he was nine. He’s only been a trainee for nine months.
Jake and the other two are
overwhelmed by the I-Land when they see it, but it looks computer-generated to
me. I went to Reddit and found that this
building does physically exist. One user
found it on Google Earth. It was NOT
built for the show, despite what the coaches are telling us. It’s part of CJENM Contents World, part of a
huge theme park that was still under construction when this aired. A fan in Korea posted pictures of himself on
Instagram standing next to the huge structure.
So it’s real, even if it looks fake on the show. In fact, since the Google Earth image shows
that the surrounding area was also under construction, it could be the trees
that are computer-generated.
Our three trainees enter through the huge rotating door and walk down a hallway that looks like it’s made of steel and mirrors. The coaches watch them approach on the monitors and tell us that all three of them have had the shortest amount of training time. Zico chimes in that early in the training process is when the trainees are the most passionate and less jaded. The unintended implication is, “Just wait ‘til we’re done with them!”
Jake and his teammates reach
the end of the hallway and see a huge strange room in front of them. This doesn’t look like a reality show. It looks like they’re about to have their
organs harvested. I’m sorry, but I do
not like this building. It feels like a
prison.
The glowing floor panels move around in front of them and assemble into a path. The boys make their way across the room, repeating “daebek” (awesome) over and over. They get to the end and sit in the middle of one of the long benches. Large digital counters on the wall click up to three.
Back outside, which feels like a huge breath of fresh air every time we cut to it, we see three more trainees approaching. The coaches watching them on the monitors tell us this is the multicultural unit. Enhypen has a Japanese member, so I wonder if Ni-Ki is part of this unit.
We see Nicholas from Taiwan, Hanbin from Vietnam, and yes, there’s Ni-Ki from Japan. We learn that Ni-Ki has been dancing since he was a child. He’s sixteen years old on this show. He will go on to be the maknae of Enhypen, as well as the main dancer.
This second unit makes its way to the huge room, where
the first unit has to squint to see them when they enter. This place is a cavern. The first unit is a bit nervous because they
don’t know what honorifics to use.
They’re anxiously discussing if they should sit or stand or bow. Jake asks, “Should we shake hands with
them?” His teammate Youngbin says, “No,
that’s too much.” The social rules in
Korea sound like a LOT.
Now we learn that the third member of Jake’s unit is Sunoo, and he’s also in Enhypen! Okay, so we have eyes on Jake, Sunoo, and Ni-Ki so far. The digital counter on the wall jumps to six.
Jake, who’s been raised in Australia, is making every effort to reach out to the second unit. They say hello to each other several times but don’t really know how to get past that, so they start laughing. For all of Korea’s social rules, I don’t think there’s any specific procedure for “K-pop trainees meeting on a survival reality show.” By now, there really should be.
We hear another unit
approaching in the hallway. We meet
Jaebeom, a songwriter who’s been training for six months. Next is Jimin, who’s been training for eleven
months and is currently in a band.
Finally, we have 18 year-old Sungchul, a soccer player who’s been
training for eight months. It’s tough to
realize that they’re all so young and about to experience the heartbreak of
being eliminated, since none of them are in Enhypen. They take their seats, and the digital
counter goes up to nine.
We’re picking up the pace. The fourth unit approaches. There are just two this time. One is Daniel, the youngest trainee on this show, at age fifteen. He’s been training for a year. He’s Korean American and absolutely adorable when he compares this setup to the Avengers. His sweet nature reminds me of Takuto from Boys Planet.
With him is 19 year-old trainee EJ, who’s been training for eighteen months and was a competitive fencer in middle school. Neither of these boys is in Enhypen, although the show is putting a lot of focus on Daniel. They sit with the others, and the counter goes up to eleven.
The floor starts moving
again. Instead of just forming a path,
it’s now turning into gliding platforms to carry the new arrivals over to the
other side of the room. Our fifth unit
has arrived. First up is 17 year-old
Jungwon, the future Leader of Enhypen.
He’s been training for sixteen months and competed in taekwondo for four
years. He has a great smile. Back in the control room, Bang Si Hyuk tells
Rain and Zico to pay close attention when Jungwon sings later on because he has
an amazing voice.
Next is Taeyong, who is seventeen years old and was a child actor for eight years. Finally, we have Yoonwan, age sixteen, who’s been a street performer for two years. They take their seats, and everyone waits for the digital number to go up to fourteen. But it doesn’t. It only goes up to twelve and then stops. The trainees are puzzled. The coaches pretend to be puzzled. (Bang Si Hyuk is the executive producer of this show.) The trainees guess that twelve must be the number of idols that will be in the final group, and given how large some K-pop groups are, that’s a fair assumption.
The sixth unit arrives. We’ve met four future members of Enhypen so far, and I’m eager to meet Heesung, Jay, and Sunghoon. But we’re not meeting them just yet. This group consists of Geonu, Kyungmin, and Jaeho. Jaeho is the first one we’re told has experience in a survival show. Geonu dropped out of high school for his dream but got his GED.
Now we have the 7th
unit, consisting of just one person.
He’s Japanese, 24 years old, and a marathon athlete who’s been a trainee
for two years and eight months. He goes
simply by the initial K. When he
arrives, the other trainees exclaim at how handsome he is. He has an innocence about him and still looks
like a teenager.
Our 8th unit comes in, consisting of two trainees. They were both with Big Hit Entertainment for two years, which is BTS’ label. Here is where we meet future Enhypen members Sunghoon and Jay.
Sunghoon is 19 years old and a 2-year trainee who was a figure skater for eleven years. We see clips of him skating, and he’s graceful and athletic. I can’t wait to see him in the dance competitions.
Jay was born in Seattle and moved to Korea at age nine. (His future bandmate Jake moved from Korea to Australia at the same age. Those two will have a lot to talk about.) Jay is also 19 years old and has been training for almost three years. Now the only future bandmate we have left to meet is main vocalist and center Heeseung.
Sunghoon and Jay sit with the
others, and right away we learn that Jay is a nervous talker. “We may not look like it, but we’re very
trustworthy people. You’ll see,” he says
as soon as his butt hits the bench. While
the others are processing that, he looks around and says, “It feels like I’ve
eaten a hundred sweet potatoes and then drank a glass of soda.”
Unfortunately, with so many trainees currently seated, there’s not a lot of room to move away from him on the bench. “You talk well,” Jaebeom finally manages in response. Koreans are nothing if not polite.
At least Jay’s gotten the conversation going. They start introducing themselves, and we learn that Youngbin’s been playing basketball for his school team since fourth grade. In the control room, Bang Si Hyuk notices that each unit has an athlete in it. He was the recruitor for this show and didn’t realize it until now.
Unit 9 is just one guy, and
now we finally meet Heeseung. He’s 20
years old, also a former Big Hit trainee, and he’s been a trainee for three
years and one month. That’s a long
time. I’m so glad he makes it into the
final group.
We get a confessional with Heeseung, who tells us when he joined Big Hit, the very successful group TXT was just about to debut. He actually trained with them for a while, so it wasn’t easy for him to see them go on to debut without him. It’s a story we’ve been hearing from so many trainees on every single one of these shows, from Shownu on No Mercy to Hyunyeop on Wild Idol and many others after them. I can’t imagine the crushing blow of training with a group and watching them go on to worldwide success without you.
Heeseung tells us his goal here is to debut, and he’ll put his everything into it. We have the advantage of knowing he’ll finally succeed this time. Most trainees say the same thing, and it still doesn’t work out for them.
When Heeseung arrives, his former Big Hit labelmates (and future bandmates) Jay and Sunghoon are excited to see him. The others are in awe because apparently he’s made a name for himself among the trainees. He’s been one of them long enough to have earned a reputation. They are excited to see him in person.
Back in the control room, Bang Si Hyuk tells Rain and Zico that Heeseung can do it all. In K-pop, that’s called an All-Rounder Idol – one who can sing, dance, and rap.
I’ve lost count of how many trainees have arrived, but we have at least one more. Our tenth unit is one person. His name is Seon. He’s 22 and has been training the longest out of all the trainees on this show, at four years and ten months. Oof. My stomach hurts knowing he’s not going to make it this time either. Seon tells us that out of all the participants, he’s probably the most desperate one. I can only imagine. As he joins the other trainees, he tells us, “Until we debut, I see them as my competitors.”
We have another single arrival, and everyone is cooing over how adorable he is. Meet 16 year-old Japanese trainee Ta-Ki, who’s been training for ten months. The translation says he’s been doing “locking dancing” for three years. I think it means popping and locking, a style of breakdancing. When the camera zooms in on him, all I can think is, “He’s just a baby.”
In a confessional, we learn
that his idol is Suga from BTS. He shows
us a picture of him meeting Suga, and I hope he gets to meet him again on this
show. Back in the gathering area, the
other trainees laugh that he looks like he’s going on a field trip. I really, REALLY hope Ta-Ki gets to prove
himself to them before being eliminated.
As the floor moves Ta-Ki closer to the rest of the group, he’s relieved to see fellow Japanese teenage trainee Ni-Ki. They’ve practiced together often and are good friends. OH GREAT. On top of not getting chosen for Enhypen, Ta-Ki will watch his friend to on to debut successfully without him. I need all the Pepto-Bismol.
Finally, all 23 trainees are present and accounted for. The room suddenly glows red, and an alarm sounds. Even the outside of the building lights up. Lasers form a design on the wall of an egg in a cube. They’re just going to hammer this metaphor into the ground, aren’t they?
An authoritative male voice booms over the PA system. “Dear twenty-three applicants,” it says. “Welcome. This is the stage of I-Land, and this will be the place for you to prove your ability. After the gate opens, you will see the unknown place called I-Land that only existed in our imaginations.”
A wall panel slides open, but
we can’t really see anything beyond it. Which
is just as well, as the PA voice tells them that all 23 of them can’t go in
there. The I-Land only holds twelve
people, and who those twelve people are is up to them. The Entry Test is about to begin with the
performances these trainees have prepared.
They will assess each other’s performances and vote to decide who gets to stay here in the I-Land. This isn’t an elimination. The other eleven trainees will just have to stay somewhere else, presumably less nice. Honestly, I’d ask to see the other place first. This place creeps me out. I’d happily stay in a tent in the woods instead. We’re already getting a glimpse into where Enhypen’s dark, goth vibe comes from.
The announcer orders the first participant to report to the stage. For all the creepiness of the building, I’m excited to see these performances. It’s up to the group to decide who goes first. After some discussion, a few of them start to stand up, but someone beats them to it, striding confidently to the stage. It’s Seon, the self-described most desperate trainee. He steps onto the moving platform that rises, lifting him above the others.
When the stage is in place, he introduces himself, saying his strengths are Chinese, English, and songwriting. The room goes dark. A spotlight shines on him. The announcer says in English, “Stand by.”
Seon is performing “Lullaby”
by GOT7. I will always remember GOT7 as
Shownu’s friends from No Mercy who went on to debut without him. They’ve remained friends with him and the
rest of Monsta X ever since, even performing together occasionally.
We FINALLY see some happy colors in this place when the stage lights up in beams of blue and purple. Seon is clearly nervous, and I wish he hadn’t gone first. His dance moves are a bit stiff. Nothing flows. I do like his singing, but the dancing is just off.
The other trainees look uncomfortable. No one wants to start the Entry Test by downvoting the guy brave enough to go first. They applaud for him, and then the announcer tells them it’s time to vote. Jimin mutters, “What should we do?” Youngbin agrees, “This is very hard.” Usually there are celebrity judges to do this. Most of these guys have just met, and now they have to deal the blow.
The announcer tells them there’s just one standard for voting. “If Choi Seon deserves to go into the I-Land, then raise your hands.”
This is agonizing. He’s going to see who votes for him and who doesn’t. No one wants to embarrass Seon with no votes. So Geonu raises his hand first, and a few others follow. I didn’t think everyone would vote for him, but that’s what happens. He gets 22 votes because no one wants to embarrass him. He’s voted into the I-Land, even though his performance wasn’t good enough and it takes a spot away from the rest of them.
In the control room, the coaches are caught off guard. They shouldn’t be. Most of these trainees are young and idealistic enough that they don’t want to shoot each other down.
The trainees are aware of the problem. Sungchul says to his teammates, “I think the voting got influenced by each other. It shouldn’t be like this.” Youngbin agrees, saying “Everyone is looking around and raising their hands.” They’re learning a tough lesson. They’re not here to be nice or go with the crowd. They have to vote honestly, no matter what anyone else says.
We’re down to eleven spots left in the I-Land. The impact of that taken spot is really hitting the trainees. Not only is that spot gone, it’s taken by someone who shouldn’t have it. I started off thinking that having the trainees vote was a bad idea. I’ve changed my mind. This is on them. They have to take accountability.
The announcer tells the next performer to approach, and now there’s a mad rush for the stage. Everyone wants to be next before all the spots are gone. They play Rock Paper Scissors for it, and Sunghoon and Jay win. This is the unit of two future Enhypen members, so this should be good.
In the control room, Bang Si Hyuk is also looking forward to this performance. He knows these two and Heeseung well, since they all trained with his label. He affectionately calls Jay opinionated and says his stubbornness can come out on stage sometimes. I wonder how much of that can be chalked up to the American in Jay.
The English words come over the PA: “Stand by.”
The song is “The 7th
Sense” by NCT U. And in the split second
before they begin, I remember that these votes are for each individual. In units with more than one person, not all
of them may get voted in.
Sunghoon and Jay give an incredible performance. It’s passionate and dramatic. I don’t think they’re doing the vocals, but the focus is on the dance. It’s modern dance set to a dark rap song, and they move separately but like two parts of one being. It’s stunning.
The applause this time is way more enthusiastic. In the control room, Rain says, “I can understand why you said Jay is stubborn. Because of his stubbornness, he can have that body line and feel when he dances.” I’m not sure “stubborn” is the correct translation for what he’s trying to say, but I still feel like I get it.
Now it’s time for the trainees to vote, and they have an even bigger problem than before. Youngbin says, “They are better than me. How can I vote?” His fellow trainees know the pain. If they vote honestly, they have to give away two more spots in the I-Land.
The first vote is for Sunghoon. He gets all 21 votes. Now for Jay. Seon doesn’t vote for Jay, which is interesting. Jay still gets enough votes to get in. We’re down to nine spots left.
I’m wondering why the voting isn’t anonymous. It’s clear that several hands are going up after the first two or three hands go up. If the voting had been anonymous, it might have kept Seon from getting in.
Up next, it’s Nicholas from
Taiwan, Hanbin from Vietnam, and future Enhypen member Ni-Ki from Japan. They speak to each other in English and to
the rest of the trainees in Korean. They
will perform “Jopping” by SuperM.
I really wish I could get good screenshots, but the footage starts blurry and just gets worse in action scenes. I can tell you they’re electrifying. They do all of the song – rap, dance, and vocals. I have to wonder how Seon feels watching this. He has to know his performance didn’t measure up to this.
They get enthusiastic applause. Jay and Sunghoon put their heads together and agree that Ni-Ki is the one who stood out. The coaches agree he was the best in the group. When the voting starts, Ni-Ki is the first one up, and the ones who raise their hands do so without hesitation. “Everyone has the same eyes,” says Bang Si Hyuk in the control room, and I know exactly what he means. Ni-Ki makes it into the I-Land by a landslide. Eight spots left.
Now Nicholas is up for the vote. Heeseung raises his hand. For several long, painful seconds, he’s the only one. Trainees start exchanging looks as time is running out. Peer pressure is at work again. Just before time runs out, several other hands go up. Nicholas gets in by only twelve votes. Several trainees do not look happy. We’re down to seven spots.
Now for Hanbin. I have a bad feeling about this. Seven hands go up, but it’s not enough. He’s the first one not to get in and the only one on his team to get this rejection. My heart breaks for him. He looks crushed. And it gets worse. After the performers go back to their seats, white lights go up under the seats of the ones who get voted in. Hanbin’s seat gets lit up in red. Those lights stay on for the rest of the Entry Test. The trainees don’t know the rules yet and think this means he’s being eliminated.
Time for the next performer, and it’s 24 year-old Japanese trainee K. He’s the oldest one on the show, even though he’s only been training half as long as Seon, who’s been training the longest.
Then something weird happens. We don’t get to see K’s performance just yet. We jump ahead to future Enhypen member Heeseung taking the stage, and this performance is really being built up. The coaches start the chatter, saying he’s the one they’re expecting a lot from, especially since he was a Big Hit trainee. In the stage area, Jay and Sunghoon are talking him up to the other trainees. They want him to join them in the I-Land. Other trainees describe him as “legendary,” and Kyungmin says, “He’s definitely going to win the I-Land.”
Heeseung is performing “BOSS” by NCT U. He already looks like a star. He’s mesmerizing. At one point, he jumps high, lands, and does a turn so quickly I almost miss it. Human beings shouldn’t be able to move that fast. And he’s singing a demanding vocal part, keeping his voice strong and steady the whole time.
The vote is immediate and
nearly unanimous. Even though it costs
the rest of them another spot, most of them vote him in. Geonu is one of the holdouts. He says he expected better. I suspect he’s just trying desperately to
save as many spots as possible. When
Heeseung happily goes back to his seat, Geonu looks away. I think there’s going to be some tension
between these two.
We’re down to six spots. Now, suddenly, we’re back to K’s performance. I have no idea why it was edited this way. He’s performing “Danger” by Taemin. I can tell he’s a talented dancer, but I think he’s suffering from the same nerves as Seon. He’s moving so fast, he’s off the beat in places. In the control room, Bang Si Hyuk says, “He’s nervous. He’s actually a much better dancer.”
The stage area is silent when K finishes. I think he knows he messed up. Still, hands slowly go up, one by one, and he gets in with sixteen votes.
Five spots left. Good thing this isn’t an elimination ceremony, or I’d be fuming. K is very aware this wasn’t a deserved outcome. He takes his seat and hangs his head.
This is really intense. We have fifteen trainees left fighting for five spots. There may be blood on that stage by the end of this episode.
The next performances are Daniel and EJ. They are going to do a song by Zico. I don’t know if they know he’s one of the coaches. Also, the translators don’t put quotes around the song titles, so instead of being told we’re going to hear “Any Song” by Zico, we’re told they’re doing any song by Zico, which I found surprisingly disrespectful until they were halfway through and I figured it out.
I love this song. It’s a playful dancehall hip hop song, and Daniel and EJ capture its vibe perfectly. As much as I love these two, I don’t want them to get in because we’re still waiting on performances by three future members of Enhypen. I know those three are going to win anyway, but that’s the weird thing about watching these shows even when I know the outcome. They’re still stressful. My neighbors are still side-eyeing me after that whole Wild Idol Stolen Points Screaming Incident.
Daniel and EJ get well-deserved applause. In the control room, Rain isn’t so impressed, saying their performance wasn’t as strong as the others, but he sees potential in EJ. Zico agrees.
The trainees vote. Daniel is up first. He gets voted in, which surprises the coaches. I think the trainees are still feeling badly about not voting Hanbin in, so they’re going to keep voting for people until all the spots are taken.
Now for EJ. He also gets voted in. This is getting nuts. Everyone is being way too nice. We’re down to three spots left, and twelve
more performers to go. Are they just
going to stop the performances when all the spots are taken? The twelve who haven’t performed yet are
looking very stressed.
We have three performers up next. Sungchul, Jaebeom, and Jimin. None of whom are in Enhypen. But they could still take those three remaining spots, especially since they’re performing a great song – “Shoot Out” by Monsta X.
They start with one of them high-jumping over the other two. Great visual. But I have particularly high standards when it comes to Monsta X songs. These trainees’ vocals are too weak for this song. They also don’t bring the energy to the choreography. The original dance moves are aggressive, with arm movements like punching the air. The “walker walker walker” movements look threatening when Monsta X does them, like zombies are actually coming at you. These trainees can’t do any of this. They’re just going through the motions.
The performance ends on a limp note, and I’m disheartened by the applause, because it sounds like they’re going to take the last three spots.
The voting begins.
Hands start going up. But not
enough for Jaebeom and Jimin. Neither
one of them gets in. When it comes to
Sungchul, the votes are more hesitant, with hands going up and down. But he gets enough votes. We’re down to two spots. At least one future member of Enhypen is not
getting in. Everyone is looking anxious,
but they keep giving away slots to not-great performances. They only have themselves to blame. All survival reality shows are brutal, but wow.
Our next three are Geonu, Kyungmin, and Jaeho. None are in Enhypen, but I’m ready to see Geonu put his money where his mouth is. He didn’t vote for Heeseung’s amazing performance because he said his standards were higher. Okay, Geonu. Let’s see you meet your own standards. This group is performing “Chained Up” by VIXX.
I’ll give them this – they are really good. The singing is a little weak, but the rapping and dancing are both strong. All three trainees deserve to be voted in, but there are only two spots left, so things are about to get interesting.
Jaeho goes up for the vote first, and his own teammate Geonu raises his hand right there onstage. I will not criticize Geonu anymore. He has my respect. But it’s not enough to get Jaeho into the I-Land. In the end, Kyungmin doesn’t get in either. Only Geonu gets in. And he feels badly about it. He was willing to sacrifice his spot by voting for his own teammates, and in the end, he was the only one who got in. He’s clearly upset, especially since he still thinks this is an elimination ceremony.
One spot left. Our sixteen year-old Japanese trainee Ta-Ki
steps up. He’s the one who’s besties
with future Enhypen member Ni-Ki. We get
a confessional in which he tells us he wanted to be a K-pop star instead of
J-pop after seeing a Monsta X video. He
wants to debut with Ni-Ki.
The song he’s about to perform is one of my absolute favorites – “Monster” by EXO. Already I’m worried. This is a full-on beast idol song, and Ta-Ki is so young and has a sweet, boyish face. It’s not a good sign that when our coaches find out what song he’ll be doing, they burst out laughing. “He’s so cute!” Bang Si Hyuk howls. This is going to be painful.
It’s so cringe. This is a sexually aggressive song with lyrics like “I’ll give you a hidden thrill” and “I’ll flip you over, break you down, and swallow you up.” And it’s being sung by a baby-faced teenager.
The other trainees look uncomfortable. Heeseung tells us, “He’s cute and charming, but in terms of his performance, I think he must improve more.” That’s a very diplomatic way to put it.
Let me put it another
way. Baekhyun, the lead vocalist of EXO,
changed his appearance drastically in the official music video to match the
tone of the song. Baekhyun is in his thirties
but looks half his age and has a boyish appearance, so the costume and makeup
teams had to transform him so he could credibly sing lyrics like “I’m gonna
mess you up.”
I’m bracing myself for this vote. For some reason, he’s being given a chance to state his case first. They play another song called “Funkastic James” by Common Ground, and he demonstrates his locking moves. This is MUCH better and what he should have done in the first place. He’s truly in his element here. The other trainees are dancing along in their seats.
It’s time for the vote, and I can hardly bear to look. The other trainees look anguished. One of them mutters, “I want to raise my hand, but I can’t.”
Then Ni-Ki raises his hand for his friend. I know it’s a bad decision in terms of strategy, but that is a true friend right there. Once his hand goes up, others start raising their hands as well. And then all hands go up. He gets 22 votes. That second chance saved him. I actually get misty-eyed when I see him bow in gratitude and relief.
All the spots are now taken, but the performances go on. Next, we have a team of three: future Enhypen Leader Jungwon and his teammates, Yoonwan and Taeyong. They’re performing “All I Wanna Do” by Jay Park. It’s a smooth-flowing R&B jam, and they dance in perfect synch. They’re confident and energetic. It’s a great performance.
They deserve to go to the I-Land, but all the spots are gone. Again, for some reason, they get to state their case before the voting starts. Yoonwan sings solo song, “Don’t Know You,” by Heize. And he’s completely off key. He’s clearly overcome by nerves. He stops mid-song to clear his throat, but that doesn’t get him back on track. He’s only sixteen. This poor kid. Back in the control room, Rain says Yoonwan chose the wrong song and can’t get the pitch right.
When the song mercifully ends, he gets applause, but he knows. When the voting starts his two teammates raise their hands. A few other hands go up, but he only gets nine votes. He doesn’t make it in. Neither does Taeyong.
Now Jungwon is up for the
vote. He makes it in with 21 votes, but
all the spots are gone, so I don’t know how this is going to work. The digital counter on the wall shows negative
one. Is someone else going to get kicked
out?
We don’t get an answer right now. It’s time for our last three performers. We have future Enhypen members Jake and Sunoo and their teammate Youngbin. They’re performing “Crown” by TXT.
They’re clearly having fun up there, more than any of the performers so far. I guess they figure this early in their trainee careers, and with all the spots already gone, they’ve got nothing to lose. They radiate happiness through the screen. I’m smiling just watching them. The coaches are smiling too.
Time for the vote. They don’t get to appeal, but they don’t need to. It was a performance they can be proud of. But hands aren’t going up at first. Now that we are at negative one slots, trainees who got in are afraid of being eliminated. The ones who got in despite performing poorly are especially nervous.
Heeseung is the first to raise his hand. He may risk losing his spot in the I-Land, but he has to give credit where it’s due. Now I know why one of the comments under this video says, “When Heeseung arrives, bro came to get his members.”
In the end, all three get voted in. Jake gets 13 votes, Sunoo gets 20, and Youngbin 12. We are now down to negative four slots.
The announcer says the Entry
Test is over. Those who have the votes
may enter through the gate and proceed to the I-Land. A huge panel opens behind them. Are they going to let all sixteen in?
The qualified ones are hesitant to move, not wanting to leave their friends behind. But those friends encourage them to go and hug them goodbye. They still think they’re being eliminated. This looks like the end of most elimination ceremonies we see on these shows.
Geonu, the only one on his team to get voted in, is in tears. Jaeho and Kyungmin practically shove him towards the gate, wishing him luck.
As all sixteen trainees move to the other side of the gate, text on the screen asks, “What will happen to the extra four?” We cut to the coaches, who seem as mystified as we are. (Again, Bang Si Hyuk, executive producer.) Survival reality shows are NEVER this nice. There’s ALWAYS a catch.
Back in the main stage area, the seven who didn’t make it wait to be sent home. There’s a quiet resignation about them.
We go back to our sixteen
I-Landers, who are getting their first glimpse of their new living
quarters. Banners unfurl with trainee
silhouettes on them. I count only
twelve. I have a bad feeling about
this. The trainees step into the main
room and notice that there are only twelve chairs. Still, they are excited. They must be in denial. They clearly haven’t seen as many of these
shows as I have.
LED screens surround them with special effects, outer space imagery, and lots of rocks. I would be volunteering to leave at this point. If the bedrooms keep to this theme, the mattresses are made of granite, the whole place is freezing cold, and you’re constantly jolted awake by aliens trying to probe you.
The announcer voice tells
them the I-Land will provide everything they need. Group and personal practice rooms, a
recording studio, a fitness center, a huge kitchen, and bedrooms. All decorated with the warmth and charm of an
automobile showroom. Seriously. I hate this place.
Now we get to the ominous part. The announcer tells them the facility is customized only for twelve people, which is the capacity of I-Land. This could not be more clear. The place only holds twelve people. There are sixteen of them. We. Have. A. Problem. The realization is slowly starting to dawn on their faces. Then the announcer says, “Starting now, in order to match the capacity of I-Land, we will execute the next stage.”
The voice tells them if they are sent out of here, they will be “released to the Ground, the space of dropouts.” The trainees don’t like the sound of this, but I have questions. Does the Ground facility have more color? Some plants? Windows? Natural sunlight? Can I go look at it before we execute the next stage?
It looks like we’re about to get answers as we cut to the seven dropouts who are going to the Ground. Right away, they arrive at a place with blue walls, which is already an improvement. They walk down a hallway, telling us they’re sad to be going home. A gate opens at the end of the hallway. My heart leaps to see grass and trees.
They enter another
facility. It’s dark but it has windows,
greenery, and natural light. The boys
tell us it looks like a prison, and from the outside at night it kind of does,
but I have to wonder what they’d think if they saw the I-Land.
A screen on the wall lights up, and they see instructions in several languages, clearly meant to set a tone of impending doom. “Dear I-Land dropouts, this is the Ground. Ground is the place where dropouts from I-Land gather, and there is no opportunity to debut while you are in here.”
Right away, even after realizing they haven’t been eliminated after all, these seven are ungrateful little twerps. “This isn’t much better than going home,” says Jimin. Really, Jimin? Seriously? Do you get to remain on this show at your home? Jesus.
He’s not the only one. In voiceovers and confessionals, the others
bitch and moan, literally minutes after finding out they get to stay on the
show and still maybe have a shot at debuting.
I mean, we know they actually DON’T have a shot since none of them are
in Enhypen, but STILL.
We cut back to the cold, sterile I-Land. The voice tells them they will have to vote to kick four trainees out and send them to the Ground. They will have two hours to talk among themselves before voting for “dropouts.” They keep using that word like it’s a bad thing. The countdown clock begins.
Now we return to our host, Mr. Namgoong. He tells us that all decisions on this show will be decided by trainee vote. He says that this is a privilege that will help them vote for their own future teammates. We’ll have to wait until next time to find out who gets to stay in the same desolate space that looks like it was decorated by the same team that did the judges’ room on Boys Planet, and who gets to breathe fresh air.
We get one last scene on the
I-Land with besties Ni-Ki and Ta-Ki, grabbing drinks in the laboratory
masquerading as a kitchen. They practice
some dance moves and encourage each other to keep their spirits up, but Ni-Ki
tells us he’s worried that Ta-Ki will be voted out.
We also get to see one of the bedrooms in better detail, and this one doesn’t look so bad. It’s got some purple accent pieces.
But then we suddenly cut to two hours later, in the decision room. The trainees actually get to vote individually and privately instead of in front of everyone else.
And we get a truly surprising
moment. Ni-Ki votes to remove his friend
Ta-Ki from the I-Land.
I truly did not see that coming. I knew Ta-Ki wouldn’t make it to Enhypen with Ni-Ki, but I didn’t anticipate this betrayal. Especially when there were other candidates who could be voted out with a clean conscience.
Will Ta-Ki find out about this? I mean, before the show airs? Will he forgive Ni-Ki when he sees the Ground facility offers sunlight-provided Vitamin D and an increased will to live?
We’ll find out next
time. See you then!
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