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(Written on March 26, 2024)
Let’s get right to it.
No Mercy is back to its timeline shenanigans again. We open this episode a few minutes before K.will tells the group the big news. They have some housekeeping to do first. He is going to announce the new rankings, right there in the restaurant.
K.will takes out
the numbered badges. I’ve reached the
point where the rankings aren’t even important to me anymore. The last rankings were done in Episode Three,
and then everyone got new numbers after the first cuts, and that was never
explained. Plus, no one, not even the
judges, are calling them by their numbers anymore. But sure, fine. Let’s do this.
Jooheon is still at Number One. Still guarding that number, just like he promised.
Wonho is Number Two. Wow, that’s quite a leap in the rankings. Or maybe it’s not. I have no idea what his rank was after the first round of cuts. So … congratulations?
I like seeing four Monsta X members clustered at the top, but these rankings officially mean nothing because Minhyuk is at the very bottom. He was on the winning team in the dance mission. He was on the team that took the video project seriously. His hair has remained fabulous, even after hours of dance practice in that igloo of a building while dressed for snowboarding. I officially reject any more of these rankings as Monsta X canon.
The trainees don’t seem to care either, as they go back to eating that incredible-looking dinner. According to my DoorDash app, I can have Seoul Garden delivered in thirty minutes. If this scene goes on for much longer, I’m hitting send.
As the boys are finishing their food, and the empty bowls are piling up, K.will brings us to where we ended the last episode. The news is that the show is bringing in a new trainee. Another rapper.
The resentment at that table can probably be felt all the way to the shopping districts. Jooheon in particular feels threatened. He tells us in a confessional, “What? Have I not met his expectations? I don’t know, I think this is beyond being merciless.”
K.will tells them
to consider this another mission. The
trainees stare sullenly at the table and barely nod, like teenagers who have
just been grounded. K.will gets up and
leaves to bring in the new trainee.
We get a confessional of the new guy with his face blurred out. He says, “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and there’s no reason for me not to take the chance. So I decided to join the show.”
The trainees are grumbling, wondering what the point of eliminating Minkyun was if they were just going to bring in someone else. The sadness of losing Minkyun is now turning into bitterness. No Mercy may as well slather the new guy in barbeque sauce and throw him into a tiger pit.
“It won’t be fun if I get eliminated as soon as I join,” says Blurryface in the confessional. I don’t think that should be his biggest worry. There are probably knives on that restaurant table and nine angry trainees with access to them.
Back at the restaurant, everyone turns to see the new guy enter. We get one last confessional, where he says, “I’m sorry, but I want to debut as well.”
We finally see
his face as he enters and bows to everyone at the table. He gets halfhearted bows from some of them in
reply. Others, including his own future
bandmates, don’t even get up from their chairs.
One of them is Minhyuk, who tells us, “This isn’t his spot, so what’s he
doing here?”
The new trainee
introduces himself. He’s twenty-year-old
I.M (no period after the M). He looks
very nervous, especially in the face of open hostility. Still, he remains polite. “I’m a rapper, nice to meet you,” he says and
bows again.
K.will has him
join the others at the table. Yoonho
won’t even look at him. Yoonho is about
to embark on his seventh year as a trainee, so he must really resent this new
guy. Nobody at the table will speak, but
we’re getting an earful in the confessionals.
Yoonho: “I
wanted to tell him to piss off, get out of my face.”
Kihyun: “To be
honest, I didn’t like him. I felt like
he was freeloading on what we’ve set up so far.”
Minhyuk: “I
couldn’t look at him in the face, I was too upset. I was in a terrible mood. I lost my appetite.”
#GUN: “I
imagined destroying everything in sight.
Throwing the table over, hitting him over the head with a spoon.”
Me, in America: “Oh my God, SERIOUSLY? Grow up, you petulant little boys! If you’re going to be mad at anybody, be mad at the show! You would have said yes to this opportunity just like he did! He would have been an idiot to say no!”
No Mercy: “What the hell – how did you get into the
confessionals?”
Me, in America: “I’m the writer! I can be wherever I want!”
No Mercy: “No you can’t! This is OUR show! We’re cutting off your internet access.”
Me, in America: “DON’T
YOU DARE – “
Okay, after several hours on the phone with Spectrum Cable, we are back.
So we’re sitting at a table with a nervous new trainee and a bunch of entitled crybabies. K.will now gets up and announces that he’s leaving. He tells them to get ready for the next mission before he heads out the door.
The room is silent. The restaurant is silent. I’m pretty sure the wait staff are hiding in
the bathrooms. Finally, Wonho speaks up,
telling I.M that he came in at the worst possible time. Kihyun says they really can’t welcome him
right now because they lost Minkyun yesterday, and it looks like I.M is
replacing him.
Now that they are at least communicating, I.M relaxes a little. He still looks like he’d rather be anywhere else, but he’s not hunched over anymore with his head down.
Still, there are walls up. Jooheon tells us, “What else can we do but hate right now? Just hating and hating.”
This goes on for a while, but you get the gist. I don’t want to write hateful words anymore. Let’s move on.
The trainees get back to the dorm and realize that Minkyun has already packed his stuff and cleaned the living room on his way out. He’s gone. Now they’re even more upset that they didn’t get to say goodbye to him, and I.M is still standing there awkwardly.
I can’t be mad at the show. No Mercy has already established itself as cold-hearted. We are at Episode Eight, and these trainees still haven’t figured out what show they’re on. They really suck at this. And maybe if they hadn’t spent so much time in the restaurant being total dicks to I.M, they would have gotten back in time to say goodbye to Minkyun. WHY AM I SO MAD RIGHT NOW, THIS SHOW AIRED NINE YEARS AGO.
Hyungwon speaks up and says the one halfway sensible thing so far this entire episode. “We are such idiots. We were so happy eating BBQ. We should have known. Why else would K.will buy us dinner!” Okay, so he’s starting to get the hang of this show. Now please invite I.M into the room, because all of you are huddled together, and he’s standing out in the hallway by himself, and I hate this.
Shownu tells Seokwon to go talk to the new guy, saying, “He’s your age. Tell him where his bed is and stuff.” Shownu, you’re one of the leaders. Do your damn job.
Finally, someone says, “I’m sure the new guy didn’t want this to happen either.” Seokwon responds, “Well, I’m not mad at him or anything. I’m just frustrated.”
The group agrees that I.M didn’t do anything wrong. Okay, great. Then someone go talk to him already.
Kihyun makes the first move. He invites I.M to sit in the living room with everyone, which would be a promising start, except that when I.M goes in and sits, the other trainees get up, one by one, and leave the room. Except for Yoonho. He stays.
We cut to one of the bedrooms, where the group has gathered around Minkyun’s empty bunk like they just came back from his funeral. #GUN winds up pep-talking the others, telling them how hard this must be for I.M. (They still call him “the new guy.”)
Back in the living room, Yoonho asks I.M if he’s watched the previous episodes. I.M says yes. They have an open and honest conversation. Yoonho, one of the youngest, uses the maturity and insight he has gained as a fossil to get through his resentment and welcome I.M, saying it will be nice to have another person his age on the show.
The other trainees still aren’t completely sold, as they keep bitching and moaning in the confessionals, which I am now fast-forwarding through. Sorry, but we’re almost fifteen minutes into this episode, and I’m getting a little tired of hearing these survival reality show contestants complain that they are on a survival reality show.
I.M sits alone, looking very uncomfortable. As someone whose family also moved around a bit when I was a kid, I know that kind of isolation. I.M’s situation is worse though, because I was dealing with other kids, and I.M is dealing with GROWN MEN WHO AGREED TO BE ON A SURVIVAL REALITY SHOW. Okay, I’ll stop. I promise I’ll stop. But jeez.
Thankfully, we leave this pity party and follow our trainees back to the North Pole, which is what I’m now calling the buildings where they rehearse. They are greeted by several famous K-pop artists, many of whom we already know as judges, including our good buddy Mad Clown. He is smiling again. How come every time he smiles, I worry that a heist is going down somewhere? The other artists are Giriboy, Jooyoung, Vasco, Junggigo, and Genius Nochang.
We learn that for the 4th
mission, there will be 300 people in the audience, and their votes will
determine the winning team. Our trainees
are split into two teams, and each one will have three of the professional
artists working with them. The winning
team will be able to release the song they perform. The losing team will have one person
eliminated while the rest of the trainees sob uncontrollably at the idea that
someone could get eliminated on a survival reality show OKAY I PROMISE I’LL
STOP THIS TIME.
On Giriboy’s team (the red team): Wonho, I.M, Kihyun, Jooheon, and Seokwon.
On Genius Nochang’s team (the white team): Hyungwon, #GUN, Shownu, Minhyuk, and Yoonho.
They split into their teams and meet in separate rooms. Giriboy’s team is relaxed and trash-talking the other team. Genius Nochang, on the other hand, is not happy that the lowest-ranked members are on his team. Someone please tell him the rankings are irrelevant at this point. Genius Nochang also says he can’t remember any of Yoonho’s raps. Okay, I’m done ragging on Mad Clown. Genius Nochang makes him look like a Disney prince.
Over on Giriboy’s team, they are discussing the song. Mad Clown says he has heard I.M’s rapping and asks if he can beat Jooheon. Come on dude, really? Jooheon is standing right there, and I.M is facing enough resentment as it is. However, I’m surprised and impressed when I.M says yes. He clearly has not been cowed by this group.
Mad Clown asks to hear him rap. I.M rises to the challenge and performs in front of a room full of trainees who still don’t like him. His talent is obvious. He earns their begrudging respect. The trainees clap, and Mad Clown says his rapping is more stable than #GUN’s. The mood in the room seems to have become warmer toward the new guy.
Back to GN’s team, and everyone in that room still looks miserable. Someone should send I.M in there to rap. But GN tells them to cheer up, they can do this. The mood lightens when they hear the song they will be doing. Then #GUN says he wants to diss Mad Clown in the song because of how he said he wasn’t a good rapper. NOW we’re cooking! They start planning other parts of the song, and it looks like Yoonho is going to get a chance to shine.
Now we get a really weird scene. I think the producers of the show realize that this episode has been mostly a bummer up to this point, so they decide to throw in what they consider fun. Try to follow me here.
GN’s team is working on their song. #GUN is disappointed that he only gets four verses, and then suddenly he doesn’t like the entire song, and then he’s insulting Yoonho, and the others have to rein him in. Then #GUN is nervous that what he just said is going to be aired on the show, and yeah, there’s a camera right there in the room. The argument escalates, and Hyungwon stands up and drags #GUN outside. Yoonho, the youngest one in the room, is bewildered and asks the camera crew to stop filming. Of course, they refuse.
We follow the fight through the hallways of the North Pole, and finally they return to the rehearsal room. The argument isn’t over. #GUN stands up and throws his hat at Yoonho. Minhyuk swats #GUN with a rolled-up paper, and suddenly they are all laughing. Turns out this was a prank on Yoonho. He takes it well, but I hope he finds success as a solo artist and never has to deal with this group again.
Once they settle down from whatever that was, they decide that since I.M is Yoonho’s new rival, they really need to diss him during their performance and try to get him eliminated. They wanted to get Yoonho’s mind off the stress of the performance by playing a prank on him that would stress him out even more. (checking notes) Wait, that can’t be right.
Thankfully, we go back to Giriboy’s team. I.M and Jooheon go into a separate room to work on their part, and here’s what I really want to see. In Monsta X, these two are like brothers, and they often trade bars in their songs, which is really exciting to watch. (The rap bridge of “Alligator” is a great example.)
Jooheon learns that I.M has been a trainee for two years. He tells I.M that he has calmed down and wants to work with him. Rather than start writing immediately, he wants to talk so they can get to know each other better.
As they talk, Jooheon brings up a point I hadn’t even considered. He suspects I.M was promised that he would debut if he joined the show. Considering the circumstances, it actually makes sense that I.M must have been offered one hell of an incentive to come onto the show this late in the game, knowing the rest of the trainees would not be happy about it. This possibility makes Jooheon’s earlier vitriol a bit more understandable.
I.M assures him no one promised him anything. He is taking the same chance as the rest of them. He’s also grateful that Jooheon is talking honestly with him. He knows how hard it is for the other trainees to open up to him, and here’s where his voice suddenly catches, and now he’s fighting back tears. It’s been almost 24 hours since he joined (if I have the timeline correct), and the stress is taking its toll. It’s a very moving scene.
I.M tells us in a
confessional that it’s been hard and lonely for him, but he feels hopeful
now. He wants to reach out to the other
trainees and see if they will eventually warm up to him.
We move on to the recording sessions. For some of these trainees, it’s their first time in a recording studio, and they’re struggling to adjust. The professionals are getting frustrated and making them record their parts over and over again. Mad Clown suggests that the recording sessions should be part of the mission, and they should just cut the trainees who aren’t doing well.
Just from my experience working on the air at a radio station many years ago, recording in a sound booth is not easy. It’s hard to get used to hearing yourself through the headphones. It took a lot of practice until I was able to read a news report with confidence instead of sounding like a hostage being forced to read the news at gunpoint.
Hwongwon and Wonho, who sound absolutely amazing when they sing on Monsta X songs, sound hesitant and feeble here, singing in a recording booth for the first time. They need confidence, and they’re not going to get it when their mentors are getting exasperated and talking about cutting them before they even get to the final performance. This entire episode is pissing me off. Can we go back to the shopping district footage? That was fun.
Things are looking up in the
next scene, when it is D-Day 4, and we are back at the CJ E&M Center. I think it’s a different stage, but I’m still
going to call it the K-pop Coliseum. The
live audience is lined up to come in, and they are super excited and waving
lightsticks.
Our boys get an upgraded dressing room and are getting their hair and makeup done. My God, Hwungwon looks stunning. There will be many interviews and column inches devoted specifically to how impossibly good looking Monsta X’s Hwungwon is, and this is why.
I.M, who has made a lot of progress connecting with the other trainees during the recording process, also looks amazing. And nervous. He has to prove himself tonight more than any of the others. The other trainees have been onstage together and established a chemistry. He also doesn’t know if the show’s audience resents him as much as the other trainees initially did. If I were him, I’d be swallowing Xanax by the handful.
The lights go down in the Coliseum, and a huge wave of female screams rises up through the darkness. These girls have been watching the show and are excitedly pointing out their favorites as the spotlights reveal both teams. Jooheon is surprised to see his name on some of the fans’ signs. I.M tries to smile, but he’s too nervous.
I’m glad we’re stopping here,
because we need a break. We’re not ready
to start the onstage battle after watching I.M do battle all week on his
own. See you next episode.
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