No Mercy: Episode 9: Hot and Cold Rematch in the Coliseum

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(Written on March 27, 2024)

I am so psyched for this.  We have both teams onstage in the K-pop Coliseum, in front of 300 screaming, adoring fans, ready to do battle.  We are just two episodes away from seeing Monsta X emerge victorious.  Let’s gooooo!

But first, let’s come to a screeching halt and do a flashback, because no one hates forward momentum more than No Mercy.  We’re back in the waiting area right before the mission begins.  The red team is getting ready, and Kihyun takes out a small tin and says, “It’s time to bust out the magic powder.”  They all swallow some, and I.M almost chokes on it.  I’ve spent several minutes Googling and can’t figure out what this stuff is.  I found powders on Amazon that vocalists use, but you’re supposed to mix them with water.  We’re less than two minutes into this episode, and I’m already down an internet rabbit hole, and the red team has almost killed I.M.

We then flash back even further, because why the hell not, it’s not like we have an exciting music battle to get to.  We’re back to the week before, when everyone is working on their songs, and Jooheon and I.M are bonding.  Jooheon is now like a mentor, pep-talking I.M and giving high-fives.  My monbebe heart is happy. 

We then cut to Wonho working out.  He tells us he wants to work out because he’s thinking about taking his shirt off onstage.  Okay, it’s just … maybe work on your singing instead?  Last week, Mad Clown said your singing sucked and threatened to eliminate you before the show.  How do you say “priorities” in Korean?

Wait, now he’s saying Mad Clown is the one who suggested he take his shirt off and throw it to the audience.  Mad Clown said that?  Was he maybe being sarcastic?  We are now less than five minutes into this episode, and I’m thinking Mad Clown is trying to sabotage the mission.

We watch more footage of Wonho doing sit-ups and lifting weights because this is WAY more exciting than watching a music battle.  

Now we’re at final rehearsals.  I.M looks completely at ease and part of the team now.  Both teams look and sound great.  Can we see them on stage now please?

FINALLY we are back in the Coliseum.  K.will introduces Giriboy’s team, the red team, whatever you want to call them LET’S JUST GET THIS THING STARTED ALREADY.

As the red team gets ready, we hear for the very first time I.M saying, “I am what I am,” and now my little monbebe heart just explodes.  I am so happy.  The team has a real band behind them, so this is going to kick ass.  (Just a heads-up:  While the famous K-pop celebrity mentors are a part of this, I’ll just be focusing on our trainees.)

I.M opens with the line, “I fell out of nowhere,” which is a good way of describing how he first appeared on this show, and then we’re off and running.

I wish I knew enough about music to describe why I love this performance so much.  I love the back and forth between the smooth vocals and the punching-the-air raps.  I love how they move out into the audience, bringing the energy with them.  It’s so exciting to watch.  They have really jelled as a group.  I wish I had been in the audience for this.  The crowd is having so much fun.  We also hear Kihyun layer that gorgeous voice over the rapping chorus, something that will be his trademark in Monsta X.

Oh, and Wonho whips off his shirt at the end and throws it to a deliriously happy fan.  Yay.  The red team then introduces themselves to the adoring crowd, and when they get to I.M, he gets an especially loud cheer from them (and from Jooheon, who cheers with them). 

Speaking of Jooheon, he gives his first show of aegyo (cute baby behavior).  He will become so well known for this in Monsta X, he will eventually decide, wisely, to retire it.

Time for the white team!  But first OH COME ON, SERIOUSLY we’re doing another flashback to rehearsals.  I want to kick this show in the nuts. 

All right, let’s speed through this.  Our trainees watch music videos by Junggigo and Vasco to pick up dance moves and tell us in confessionals how much they look up to those guys and then they rehearse their performance and the mentors don’t like it and tell us they suck and then they practice more and they’re still not 100% confident there we’re caught up now back to the show.

The white team is getting ready backstage.  Minhyuk’s hair is at DEFCON Fabulous.  Hyungwon still looks stunning.  They’re ready to go.

They take the stage while the red team moves up to the balcony to watch.  A group of fans gather on the floor under the balcony to scream and wave.  Jooheon says he’s never had fans do this and never even thought he’d have fans.  Oh, sweetie.

So the white team is onstage with a weird set design of mannequins, boxes, and appliances, all painted white.  They put on white masks.  They have a deejay instead of a band. 

Hyungwon sings first, and he looks like a god.  His voice is smooth and seductive.  Any jitters he showed during rehearsals and in the recording booth are long gone.  Minhyuk picks up the next verse, but he’s a bit hard to hear over the siren noises and other sounds the deejay is making.

The dancing is okay.  The sound is a bit annoying.  Just about a minute in, I realize I’m having the same problem with this that I had with the Mission Three dance competition.  The prison break was red and hot and high energy.  The science fiction was cold and low energy.  That’s exactly what’s happening here.  White has the potential to be white hot, but they’re using cold, sterile props and a deejay instead of a band.  

Halfway through the performance, they take white baseball bats and take halfhearted swings at the mannequins, knocking some of them over.  Their performance picks up a bit more energy after that, and the crowd does seem to like it.  When it ends, the crowd is still enthusiastic, and the red team is impressed enough to look nervous.  But I was right about the dance competition, and I think I’m right about this one too.  Even without Wonho’s abs, the red team has the white team beat.

The audience casts their votes by putting their wristbands in either a white or red box.  The teams wait in the dressing room, looking like they’re awaiting the results of a biopsy.  These poor guys.  And one of them will be eliminated tonight. 

K.will takes the stage and asks both teams to join him.  There’s some good-natured trash talking between between the teams through gritted teeth because they are ANXIOUS AS HELL, and then it’s time to announce the winner.  And, wow.  The vote was close.  The winner, by only eleven votes, is the red team.  Wonho, I.M, Kihyun, Jooheon, and Seokwon.  I was right about the winning team but wrong about it being a landslide decision. 

So on the white team, either #GUN or Yoonho will be cut.  I know we will have to lose both in the end, but Yoonho was the first one to show kindness to I.M when he arrived, so I don’t want him to go just yet.

K.will announces the one who will be eliminated is … a fakeout.  He takes a long pause, then says that the eliminated trainee will be announced when the show airs.  The audience laughs at how they fell for it.  If that had been an American audience, they would have rushed the stage and beaten him senseless with their light sticks.

The audience then leaves.  The mentor artists are the judges, sitting up in the balcony and deliberating while the trainees sweat it out onstage.  Finally, K.will announces the eliminated trainee will be … Yoonho.

Okay, this one stings.  This is his seventh year of training, and he’s shot down again.  I knew he would have to go eventually, but it’s still hard to watch. 

Yoonho handles it so well.  He’s probably had so many disappointments over the past few years, he’s used to it.  No tears.  Just gratitude for the opportunity to work with such great people.  He’s the only one on the stage not crying.

In a confessional, he’s asked if he will continue to train.  He says, “Of course, how could I not?  I devoted my teen years to training.  How would I quit now?” 

The remaining trainees need a break after that.  We cut to a day or two later, at an amusement park.  It’s good to see them having fun like big kids, eating junk food, dancing, and enjoying a parade.  They go on a scary-looking ride that looks like a tilt-a-whirl on a roller coaster track, which means they probably should have filled up on funnel cakes and ice cream AFTER the rides. 

They also ride the bumper cars, and all I can think is that I desperately wish the Pavillion in Myrtle Beach hadn’t been torn down.  It’s a childhood memory thing.  I’ll be okay.  I’ll just live vicariously through this footage for a while.

They also get recognized as No Mercy contestants and take many selfies with fans.  Everything looks fun and sunny and fine, which means the Jaws theme should be playing right about now.  Seokwon says it first:  “I know No Mercy doesn’t just let us have fun.”  I agree.  The other shoe must be about to drop.  The trainees are dangerously close to feeling contented and at peace with the world.

The other trainees are getting paranoid as well.  I have the biggest laugh of the entire series when two park employees in mascot costumes approach to get pictures with them, and our boys accuse the mascots of being K.will and Hyolyn in disguise.  We know neither one is Ga In, because Jooheon isn’t getting dragged away into a Foto Fun booth.

But something is up.  Just before they take the picture, the mascots hold up a banner behind them that says FINAL MISSION in big red letters.  The instructions on the banner are as follows:

1.       Leave your number tags behind.  (See, I told you no one cared.)

2.       Get ready for the final mission.

3.       Seven trainees will be able to debut.

4.       That means (and it slowly dawns on the trainees) that two more will be cut.

 

Back to the confessionals.  Everyone is anxious again.  An interviewer asks Shownu why it’s so important that he debut now.  He says, “This is going to sound sad, but I’m pretty old.  If I get eliminated, I don’t have any more chances.”  He’s 22 or 23 by now, and after everything he’s been through, he probably feels way older than he actually is.  I’m guessing the issue of military service is also a factor.  When you know that you are going to be sacrificing eighteen months of your life and won’t be able to spend that time chasing your dream, time really is breathing down your neck.

Jooheon is asked the same question, and he fights back tears when he says he’s doing this for his mom.  He wants to take care of her.

Now for Wonho.  Same question.  Right away, I’m thinking of all kinds of snarky answers, like he wants to be rich and famous so that his abs can have their own seat on the private jet.  But the real answer punches me right in the gut.  His mom spent too much money on him while he was in the trainee system, and he wants nothing more than to pay her back.  His mom had called him several times, crying, telling him not to come home, but of course he did, and he found that their furniture was being repossessed because his family had gone bankrupt.  

Wonho begins to cry and says, “I feel so frustrated and upset that I can’t debut any faster.  I realized my mom keeps sitting in front of the fridge because the house is so small, she has nowhere else to sit.  That’s where she sits all day, in front of the fridge.  I don’t know, I just have to debut.”

Thank Christ he’s going to make it to the end.  I want nothing more in the world than to get this recap written and watch the final episode so I can see him make it to the end.

Episode 10:  Confetti at a Funeral

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