Wild Idol, Episode 12: no time for a title LET’S START THE SHOW.

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(Written on April 21, 2024)

The show clearly knows we’re chomping at the bit, so we’re getting right to the Stage Battle.  Let’s do this!

Our idols line up on the stage, all looking fabulous.  They are about to meet the judges.  They are:

Giriboy.  The rapper from our No Mercy recaps!  Welcome back, my guy!  He’s the only newcomer to this show on the judging panel.  The rest are familiar faces, such as:

Lil Boi.  One of our rapping coaches.

Sung Kyu.  Hoo boy.  You may remember him as one of the vocal coaches, but he’s also one of the panelists who never knows when to stop talking, even when it involves breaking a show rule and telling everyone the age of one of the contestants.  You know, the rule set in the beginning so the trainees would all start on a level playing field and not have to be intimidated by Korean social norms about showing deference to people older than you?  Yeah, that guy.  You have no IDEA how long I can hold a grudge.

Kim Jong Wan.  Another vocal coach who is usually paired with Sung Kyu.  All this time, I’ve been focused on the trainees and just assumed Jong Wan was a pop artist, but I just looked him up, and he’s in an alternative rock band called Nell.  He’s the lead vocalist, keyboardist, and guitarist.  According to Wikipedia, they’re known for their gloomy and psychedelic sound.  I watched a couple of their YouTube videos, and they’re really good.  I did not know that the soft-spoken, bespectacled vocal coach was actually kind of a badass.

Rounding out the judges’ table is our pink-haired dance battle coach Hyoyeon, and finally, choreographer Choi Yung Jun, who choreographed Team Answer’s song.  

The judges are excited.  I’m excited.  Let’s go!

The rap team is going first.  They are Jiseong, Gun Wook, Surfer Dude, and Aquaman.  They will do one song with individual performances and then come together as a group for the next song.  They will be rapping about numbers as a throwback to when they started this show and had only number badges instead of names.  They’re ready to get started. 

Unfortunately, they can’t get started.  One of the judges, and of course it’s Sung Kyu, wants to chat first.  He asks them why they chose to rap in this competition.  Because swing dance wasn’t an option, numbnuts.  LET’S START THE SHOW ALREADY.

Sung Kyu wants to keep talking.  He asks which of the idols standing before him are rivals, who they think will win the best rapper points in this performance, and I really wish Korean culture weren’t so polite so our trainees could tell him to put a sock in it and let them get started.

The judges then talk to each other about what it’s been like coaching these rappers, how much they’ve improved, and why an American redhead from the future has just burst into the studio with a loaded gun and demanded that they get this show on the road already.

We then flash back to a few days ago, when the coaches were checking up on our rappers, and I’m just going to lean on the skip button for the entire six and a half minutes of this.  We are now thirteen minutes into this episode and haven’t seen a single performance. 

FINALLY we are back to the Purple Rain Stage.  Time for the rap battle to begin!  Right after Sung Kyu asks the rap coaches what they will be looking for in this performance.  Personally, my criteria would require the performance to ACTUALLY BEGIN AT SOME POINT.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Another minute later, almost fifteen minutes into this episode, we’re ready to begin.  Gun Wook starts us off with confidence and a bit of swagger.  The lyrics don’t get translated, but it doesn’t matter.  He goes rapid-fire on us without missing a syllable, and I love it.

Jiseong is next with aggressive, in-your-face rapping.  He struts across the stage, which is now showing a graffiti’d alleyway.  Love it.  Defiant.  Determined to break the rules.  Telling authority where to stuff it.

Change of vibe.  Surfer Dude appears in a jacket and fedora.  He tosses the hat offstage and gazes directly into the camera.  His voice is low and seductive, and his first words are in English.   “I can’t love you cuz I’m a workaholic.”  The words trigger every “I can fix him” impulse in womenkind.  Then the beat picks up, and he switches to Korean, but I still understand.  He’s the un-gettable guy, and all women want is to get him.

Last up is Aquaman.  Police sirens wail from the soundtrack as he runs onto the stage like he’s fleeing a crime scene.  This is gangsta rap, and the dangerous growl in his voice backs him up.  He stares into the camera, daring you to come at him.

The other rappers join him, and it’s time for the group performance.  They move like a street gang.  Their choreo is so high energy.  A choreographed fight breaks out between Surfer Dude and Jiseong at one point, never losing the flow.  It’s like they’re preparing for battle with another crew but will still turn on each other in a second if provoked.  Honestly, I’d debut these four rappers together as a group and be done with it.

The judges love it.  They’ve seen a huge improvement since these idols started the show.  And now they have to choose a winner from this group and award 100 points.  Even I can do the math on this.  Jiseong is the only TAN member in this group, and his ranking is currently outside the top seven.  He really needs to get these points. 

And yes, Jiseong takes it.  He looks so relieved.  The judges talk about how great his performance was and how they liked the changes he’d made over the past week and I don’t care, let’s get to the next show.  The judges continue analyzing the performance for a few more minutes, and the whole episode is going to be like this, isn’t it?

Next up, the dance team!  We have Changsun, Taehoon, The Brat, Sunghyuk, and Jaejun.  I’m looking at the rankings again.  The only non-TAN guy in the top seven is Baby H, and Jiseong may just have gotten enough points to kick him out and make the top seven all TAN guys.  The Brat is in 12^th place.  He’s the only one who could win this without knocking any TAN guys out of the top seven.  

More chatter among the judges.  Another flashback to the previous week of practice.  I skip through it.  Now we can start.  They are dancing to “Fools” by Troye Sivan and “Believer” by Imagine Dragons.  This team isn’t only performing the choreography, they wrote it themselves.

The first song is a slow, yearning ballad.  The choreo involves reaching out and pulling inward.  The dancers do a lift during a verse about swimming.  Every graceful move reflects want and need.  They end this part by gathering in a circle and dropping their white scarves.  It feels like an act of surrender.

Then we move to “Believer.”  They put on black jackets, and the tempo picks up.  This is now a confident, sexy vibe.  It’s tribal.  Backstage, the other idols are mesmerized.

Yeah, there’s no way The Brat is going to win this.  Jaejun and Taehoon own this performance.  They’re going to jostle each other in the top seven.

The judges give their feedback.  Some of them single out Jaejun for praise, finding his stage presence cool and confident.  The others compliment Changsun, saying they liked his laid-back style.  They all get praise, but it looks like it’s going to be between Jaejun and and Changsun, not Taehoon.  That’s a surprise.

The judges debate and choose Changsun.  I did not see that coming.  I’m happy for him.  He just wasn’t the one who had my attention.  Jaejun is clearly disappointed.      I get it.  I don’t understand that vote, either.

Another few minutes of jabber as the judges talk about Changsun’s stage presence and dance technique and please let’s just move on to the vocalists.  I want to hear their arrangement of that SHINee song. 

Our vocalists take the stage.  They are Baby H, Jooan, Hyunyeop, the Cadet, and Ki Joong.  Out of all three groups, they have the best costumes.  I love the combination of leather, chains, and plaid fabric.  Very British.  Shout out to the wardrobe department.  

The judges tell them their song choice is a difficult one.  The idols are unfazed.  They say they wanted to try something different.  More jabber from the judges, more time wasted in a flashback, skip skip skip.  On with the show!

We begin with a soulful piano intro.  The opening lines are sung in stunningly beautiful harmony.  Then they trade lines, including Hyunyeop in his gorgeous falsetto.  Then they kick it into the dance pop tempo.  I love this arrangement so much.  I love the British landmarks on the LED screens behind them.  I love the boundless energy of the performance.  They move like rock stars and are caught up in the joy of singing this amazing song.  

Of all the stage performances I’ve seen on No Mercy and Wild Idol combined, this is my absolute favorite.  By a mile.  The judges are bopping in their seats.  When the song ends on a triumphant high note, the judges clap and cheer.  I rewind and watch it a couple more times.  It’s even got a gospel vibe behind it, which is what’s getting me so emotional each time I watch it.  I now have both the original version and this one on my K-pop playlist. 

The judges have a tough job ahead of them.  While all the trainees get praise, it comes down to Jooan and The Cadet.  I’m just blissfully happy and don’t care who they choose, because TAN will come out TAN, and I will be watching this performance on YouTube repeatedly for the rest of my life.

The judges deliberate, and it takes them a really long time.  They are clearly struggling to choose between Jooan and The Cadet, and suddenly, is it weird that now I want The Cadet to win this?  Jooan will be part of TAN in the end.  I want The Cadet to get this win before being eliminated.  

The judges announce the winner, and it’s … THE CADET!  I am so happy.  I thought it would be Jooan, and I know he’s disappointed now, but he’s going to be fine.  If The Cadet is going to wind up leaving the industry, I want him to remember this performance and this win for the rest of his life.  I love seeing him smile in the confessional.  He absolutely deserves this. 

To his enormous credit, Jooan says in his confessional that this performance of “Sherlock” would not have been possible without The Cadet.  

Now all the idols gather onstage in front of the judges, who congratulate them on their hard work.  Then they gather in front of the Tower.  The Last Chance mission has come to an end.  

The Tower shows them the current rankings and then factors in the new winners.  Jiseong moves from Number Eight to Number Four.  The Cadet, previously Number Eleven, moves to Number Eight.  So close.  Changsun, previously Number Seven, moves to Number Two.  Taehoon has managed to hold on to the Number One spot, although now by only thirty points.

Now we look to the last episode.  The Tower tells them that the final seven will be decided by 70% accumulated mission scores and 30% viewer voting results.  The results will be announced during the final live performance.  So this show is going to leave seven contestants behind in the final show.

We cut to a few days later, when the idols visit the studio again.  We find out that they have been filming this show for five months.  Now, each one will sit in front of the others, one at a time, and talk about their experiences while getting roasted by the others.  Basically, this show is running down the clock again.

We get some basic stuff.  Everyone trash talks Taehoon, the one in first place.  We learn that Changsun has always been seen as the leader for all the idols since day one.  They call Sunghyuk a fossil.  (He was 22 when this was filmed.)

They tease Jooan for being short.  I looked it up – he’s 5’8”.  The average height for men in South Korea is 5’9”.  So, um … burn, I guess? 

But then someone brings up Jooan’s time on Team A, and now I’m ready to fight.  They mock his gesture of ripping off his name tag when he left his own team, and now I will absolutely cut a bitch.  And I’m bringing John Wick with me. 

In other news, The Cadet has dyed his hair red now.  Everyone jokes about the day he had to beg on his knees to be let out of Team A.  Yeah, that was a barrel of laughs, all right.  Especially for Hyung Seok, who has probably already blocked all three of his former teammates on social media.

More flashbacks.  I think we’re done here.  I’m going to watch the “Sherlock” performance several hundred more times.  See you next time for the final episode, when we see TAN emerge and see their reaction to their band name.  I’m so curious, yeah.

Episode 13 (finale):  This could have been an email.

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Wild Idol, Episode 11: Baby, I’m a Star.

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(Written on April 20, 2024)

No animal stories today.  We go right to the Tower and D-Day for the Stage Battle.  I’m very excited to see our idols on the big outdoor stages and very curious about how they’re getting an audience to see them.

We see the Tower stages.  The “Answer” one is blue and sleek, with huge LED panels and a clear, reflective floor.  The “No Thanks” stage is red and looks like an auto repair shop exploded. 

Our idols hit the stages to get a feel for them, and the weather is still really bad.  The high winds are even shaking the cameras a little.  Team No Thanks gets some rehearsal time while the winds whip at their hair and clothes.  It’s a bad sign that Team Answer is watching them rehearse and looking worried.  Sunghyuk’s dramatics over being pushed to this team are way more understandable now.

After the rehearsal, I’m pretty sure I hear thunder, and it’s definitely raining again.  The stage floors are wet.  Was South Korea having a nonstop monsoon?  I looked up the weather in the Sobaek Mountain Range for early 2021, when filming would have been done.  Those mountains got twelve inches of rain in mid-April.  They really should have filmed this in someone’s backyard. 

Now Team Answer rehearses, and it looks like all those hours of rehearsal paid off.  They’re actually good.  This is going to be a real competition.  Now it’s the No Thanks Team’s turn to look concerned. 

We’re two hours before the online broadcast, and I just now remember that COVID was still happening while this was being filmed, so that’s why they keep doing live broadcasts instead of having live audiences.  COVID seems like a bad dream now, and if it weren’t for the masks I still keep and the toilet paper I still hoard just in case it happens again, I’d have forgotten about it.  For Pete’s sake, it’s the whole reason I work from home now.  We Americans have very short memories.

A team of stylists have descended on our idols.  When they get back onstage, they look like … well, TAN.  I’m seeing TAN up there.  Even the junkyard stage is starting to grow on me. 

By showtime, it’s pitch dark and raining HARD.  Team Answer is actually happy about the rain.  They are wearing white shirts with black leather straps underneath, so when those shirts get soaked, they’re going to be one smoking hot group of pneumonia victims. 

The Tower announces that the Stage Battle will begin, and we see the faces of the audience on the Tower’s LED screen, just like in the previous live broadcast.  

Team Answer will go first.  The stage and the team both look amazing.  They may be fending off wind and rain, but they’re going to make sure to introduce themselves to the cameras so the audience will remember their names for the individual voting.  Then they take their places while the other team watches anxiously from backstage.  The music starts.

The rain is definitely working to their advantage.  They look wild and adventurous.  The song is a piece of fluff that I forget right after hearing it, but the performance is electric.  They should be doing a harder rock song. 

I feel sad about the ones who aren’t going to make it to the final group, because boy do they deserve to.  Especially The Cadet and Baby H.  They absolutely belong onstage.  They are already stars.  When they hold their final pose, the wind and rain whipping around them makes them look like gods.  The online audience is clapping and waving enthusiastically.  

The Tower reminds the audience about voting for their favorite member of Team Answer.  They write down the names and hold them up to the cameras.

Next up, Team No Thanks.  If Team Answer looks like gods, these guys look like demons.  Dangerous and sexy.  The wild weather takes on a whole new context, like they are the ones bringing the storm.  They introduce themselves and do a better job flirting with the camera than the other team, especially Jaejun.  Teenage me would definitely have voted for this team, and they haven’t even started yet.  The online audience looks more excited to see them.

The music starts, and our bad boys are ready to go.  I like that they get a song with a harder beat.  They are perfectly in sync with higher energy than Team Answer.  They’re fueled by a better song with a great hook.  

Backstage, Team Answer is very nervous.  The Tower tells the audience to hold up their votes for their favorite member of Team No Thanks.  Immediately afterward, it’s time for the audience to vote for their favorite overall team.  I have my personal preference, and I know one team is mostly TAN, but I could see the vote going either way. 

The idols, still dressed in their stage outfits, gather in front of the Tower for the results.

The winning team, and the one that will perform on MBC’s Show! Music Core was decided by a close vote of 59-41.  And it’s Team Answer.

They seem as surprised as I am.  I’m happy for them, especially with indie Hyunyeop and Drama Queen Sunghyuk on their team.  And Surfer Dude, The Cadet, and Ki Joong finally, FINALLY get a win.  It’s weird – I liked the other team better, but I’m still glad Team Answer won.  Ki Joong bursts into tears again, and this time, I love to see it.  The lowest ranked underdogs will get to perform on their dream stage.  The Cadet is crying, too.

Team No Thanks looks stunned.  They really expected to win.  Eventually, they shake it off and put their hands in to do a team cheer. 

The Tower reminds Team Answer that each member of their group will get fifty points.  I’m so glad they won’t be stealing the points from the other team.  And now, it’s time to find out the results of the individual votes.

For Team Answer, it’s … Hyunyeop!  Man, he needed this.  For Team No Thanks, it’s Jooan.  I figured it would be either Jooan or Jaejun.  Jooan shows no joy whatsoever.  He’s taking the team loss hard.  

The individual winners get more points as well, but the Tower doesn’t remind us how many.  Now it’s time to see the new rankings.  I predict there will be a lot of changes, but Taehoon will still be in the top spot, since he was over a hundred points ahead of the second-ranked idol.

Here are the rankings, with the TAN members highlighted:

Taehoon is only about fifty points ahead of Jaejun now.  Sunghyuk actually yells “Thank you!” to Taehoon when his new ranking is announced.  Changsun, as the No Thanks Team Leader, feels like he failed his team, but they refuse to hear it.  There’s already a strong bond growing between these future bandmates.

Change of scene.  We now see the Tower in a different place, with different lighting.  They’ve moved it again.  The drums start beating, and our idols run to the new location.  It looks like it’s indoors.  They’re in a studio.  Wait, they’ve been outside, pummeled by rain and wind for the past several days, and they could have been in a studio?  

The Tower looks shorter, like they had to shave about twenty feet off the top to fit it inside.  “Only the strong will survive,” the shortened Tower tells them, which sounds weird in this non-wilderness environment.  Are they still doing the “fight to survive” thing?  Are the idols standing on a kill floor?

We are told that they will no longer be in the wild, to which I say THANK GOD.  The final seven winners will be decided through the final live broadcast.  Now comes something called the Last Chance.  We still have two and a half episodes to fill.  Are we about to eliminate someone?

The Last Chance Mission will include a modeling challenge and a stage battle.  First, they will be posing for pictures for the modeling mission.  One trainee’s photos will be chosen as the best, and that trainee will be awarded fifty points.  Now that fifty points can mean a new first-ranked idol, Taehoon is really looking nervous.

We cut to a week later.  I guess the show gave the idols a week off to wring out all their rain-soaked clothes.  Our idols return to the studio and are greeted by show staff.  The boys meet Editor-in-Chief Jung Hye Wook of Men’s Health.  She tells us specifically she’s from Men’s Health, but when she holds up a sign with the magazine’s logo on it, the show blurs it out.  Korean broadcasting laws are complicated.

When Jaejun is doing a confessional and they show the cover of the magazine behind him, they only kinda sorta blur out the name.  They barely blur about half of it, like the show couldn’t tell if it was illegal or not, so they hedged their bets.  More on this in a minute.

Our muscular idols, like Taehoon and Jaejun, are excited about this shoot.  The ones without six-pack abs are a little nervous.  The editor says she wants to take them out of the wild and transform them into handsome city men.  Only one of them will get to be on the cover.  My money is on Jaejun.  He’s got that Men’s Health look.

Wait, I forgot about Baby H, and he tells us he won a modeling contest before Wild Idol.  He’s already a professional model.  I’m glad to hear that, because he’ll need something to fall back on when he doesn’t make it into TAN.  And Aquaman tells us he’s a professional model as well.  My money isn’t so much on Jaejun anymore.  

Now we get what is clearly an advertisement for our good friends at Masitdak Snacks.  The idols pick out their favorite flavors from a basket provided right there in the studio and talk about how much they enjoy them.  Boy, is it out of place and awkward.  They’re trying to make it seem like casual conversation, but I just know there’s a production assistant right behind the camera, frantically gesturing at them to hold the labels up to the lens.  The show tells us that now that our idols have charged up their bodies with protein, it’s time for them to go into hair and makeup.  O…kay.  That was weird, but sure.

We see the Men’s Health logo on a card in the makeup room, and okay seriously, what’s up with this?  Only the word “health” is blurred out.  Does the English word “health” mean something obscene in Korean?  Did the magazine only buy half a sponsorship?

So yes, I paused the show and found some answers on Reddit.  South Korea has broadcast regulations banning indirect advertising, or embedded marketing.  In this case, the word “men’s” is pretty common, but put it next to the word “health,” and you have indirect advertising.  Even though they say the name of the magazine many times in this episode and show the cover of the actual magazine, they still have to blur out part of the name. 

Quick tangent:  This happens all the time in K-pop artist interviews when an idol is wearing a logo on their clothing.  What’s really funny is that they usually don’t blur it out very well.  In some cases, when the idol moves a couple of feet to the side, the blur doesn’t move with him, so we can clearly see the logo until he moves back to his previous position.  

So back to the Men’s Health Magazine shoot.  Our boys are getting makeovers.  One of the hairstylists asks Taehoon if they really didn’t have any hair or makeup styling while they were filming in the mountains.  Taehoon says he didn’t even get to wash his hair for the first modeling challenge and that he styled his hair with oil from his face.  If you’ll excuse me, I have to throw up now.

Sorry about that.  And I’m sorry, Taehoon, but you guys looked very well put together out in the wild.  I believe you looked naturally that way just like I believe you love nothing better than Garlic Chicken Masitdak Snacks first thing in the morning.

Now for the photo shoots. Of course, they all look stunning.

Afterwards, when the Men’s Health staff has left the building, our idols gather at the Tower to find out the winner.  It’s Baby H, for fifty points and the magazine cover.  He moves up to Number Four in the rankings, pushing everyone below down a spot. 

The Tower tells them that before the live show, there is one more chance to come up in the rankings and be a candidate for the final seven.  The idols must choose a category to compete in, either vocal, dance, or rap.  Each team has to pull off a perfect performance.  A panel of judges will evaluate them.  The best idols will win one hundred points each.  Our idols choose their categories.

The teams huddle.  We join our rappers first.  They debate whether their theme should be “number” or “anti-hero,” and even with subtitles, I don’t understand this conversation. 

Thankfully, we move on to the dancers.  The Brat is in this group.  Why isn’t he with the rappers?  Maybe he feels he has a better chance of winning here.  He’s the only non-TAN member of this group, so he’s probably screwed.  The group agrees to wear suits and choose a song that starts with dance pop and moves into hip-hop. 

Now on to the vocalists.  They try to choose a song.  One of the songs that gets considered is “Love Me Right” by EXO, a song I absolutely love.  But they pass on this and throw out more ideas.  

The Cadet is strangely quiet.  He doesn’t offer any opinions.  When Jooan encourages him to speak his mind, he puts his head down and begins to cry.  He explains that he feels he’s been selfish.  So now, rather than pushing for what he wants, he will listen to the others and let them decide.

This is a full turn from the guy whose insistence on changing the choreography led to The Spark being eliminated.  I’d actually let that go since discovering just how talented he is and knowing how I would also fight for myself if I had that kind of talent.  I really, really wish he had wound up in TAN. 

I usually save this next part for when someone gets eliminated.  But after The Cadet’s amazing performance in the last Stage Battle that led to his team winning, I tried to find current information about him.  The most I could find is that he was supposed to debut several times, but none of them panned out.  He seems to have disappeared from the K-pop industry.

This makes me sad.  He definitely had the talent.  He had the star quality.  But after going through the heartbreak of failure over and over again, maybe the best thing for his mental health was to walk away from the industry.  Maybe start his own dance studio or be a vocal coach.  I hope he’s okay, especially after seeing him break down like this.  I hope he’s living a happy life.

Now, in a confessional, he specifically mentions how he screwed up the choreography and how he fought to get out of Team A.  When we cut back to the vocal team meeting, the others are compassionate.  Over the course of the show, they’ve all been in the bottom ranks.  So they tell him it’s not selfish to speak up.  When The Cadet eventually does get eliminated, I’ll be glad he’s made peace with his fellow contestants. 

The vocal team decides to do a classic K-pop song by SHINee called “Sherlock.”  I pulled up the video on YouTube, and oh my God, that’s a great song.  It hooked me immediately.  The song is over a decade old, and I don’t know if I ever would have found it if it weren’t for this show.

We get montages of all the teams rehearsing and getting feedback from the coaches who have appeared on the show so far.  It looks like they’ve been given a week to put their performances together.  They will be doing these Last Chance performances at the MBC Studio.  The stage looks incredible.  I love the purple.  I am calling it the Purple Rain Stage.  (We miss you so much, Prince …)

Our idols arrive and are blown away by the stage.  They see the judges’ table on the other side of the studio.  I feel like we’re back at No Mercy.  As the idols walk around and get a feel for the stage, they get excited about the chance to perform here.  It’s a great venue.  I’m excited for them. 

They take a day for rehearsals, and then it’s time for hair, makeup, and wardrobe again.  Please, nobody ask Taehoon about his time in the wilderness. 

Cut to ninety minutes before showtime.  We have about ten minutes left in the episode, so I hope we get to see at least one performance.  Nope.  Instead, each group does one last round of dress rehearsal.  We only get glimpses of these rehearsals.  Mostly we see the reactions of the other idols watching them from backstage.    I love the way the lighting changes with each performance.  Shout-out to whomever designed this stage.  When the vocalists are rehearsing, I can hear that they are doing their own arrangement of “Sherlock,” and I’m so excited to hear the full song.  This is going to be a great show.

We then cut to another montage of the rehearsals we just saw, and as great as it looks, I think this episode is just running out the clock.  Turns out that’s exactly what they’re doing, because they’re closing out with studio performances of Team Answer and Team No Thanks doing their songs from the previous battle.  They all look amazing, especially The Cadet, who experienced so many setbacks before getting to the MBC dream stage. 

Well, I’m excited for the next two episodes.  If they are going to stretch the hell out of this, we’ll at least get to see some great performances.  Stay tuned.

Episode 12:  no time for a title LET’S START THE SHOW

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Wild Idol, Episode 10: I get my answers, and they are all NO.

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(Written on April 19, 2024)

I swear, someone from Wild Idol must know about these recaps, because every issue and suggestion I brought up last time is addressed in this episode.  I don’t get the answers I wanted, but I get answers.  So let’s dive in.

We open with another clip about animals in the wild, which I’m skipping through.  I’ve already made it clear how I feel about this premise.

The show cuts to the panelists.  I skip the panelists.

The Tower announces it’s time for the next challenge.  HERE we go.  Welcome to Episode Ten, everybody!

New coaches approach.  We have dance masters Hyoyeon, Minzy (we’ve met her before), and … Woo Young from 2pm!  The idols are all excited, and this time I’m right there with them.  And we’re getting an actual talent mission – a dance challenge!  

The idols are told to put one-minute choreo together in any genre.  It’s pouring rain again (it will be raining through this entire episode), and they will be dancing on wet grass as   they head out into the field to practice.  They practice for hours.  We see the sunset.  I’m a little bummed that this battle will take place at night because my screenshots come out so dark.  

Everyone gathers back at the Tower, where the coaches tell them they will be battling in groups of three.  I’m so happy we’re done with the stamina missions.  This is what I came here to see.

The winning idol will be able to steal fifty points from one of their opponents, because of course they will, so much for my suggestion that they knock that off.  At some point, I want to go back through these episodes and try to figure out who would have been in TAN if no one was allowed to steal points.

The idols are divided into five teams:

Team 1:  Taehoon, Changsun, and The Brat

Team 2:  Jooan, Jaejun, and Baby Hercules

Team 3:  Gun Wook, Hyunyeop, and Aquaman

Team 4:  Jiseong, Surfer Dude, and Hyung Seok

Team 5:  The Cadet, Sunghyuk, and Ki Joong

Team 1 is first, and Taehoon steps up.  He’s dancing to a smooth hip-hop R&B song called “Sure Thing” by Miguel.  His moves are smooth and confident.  He’s always had a sexy edge to him.  When the lyrics refer to a cigarette, he puts his fingers to his lips.  He becomes the song.  One of the judges notes his long arms and legs.  He’s a sensual dancer. 

The Brat is next, dancing to “Everyone in the World Started to Hate Me” by Lang Lee.  The song is just vocal and stand-up bass.  The Brat has choreographed a modern interpretive dance.  I didn’t expect this from him.  It takes courage to do something this different, and he pulls it off.  

Now, Changsun.  I do know the song.  It’s “7 Years” by Lukas Graham.  This feels like modern dance influenced by ballet.  Again, it’s something more mature than I expected, and I really like it.  These idols always find a way to surprise me.  I’m surprised again when the coaches give it a poor review, saying he looked nervous.  I didn’t see that at all.  I think the coaches might be stretching for reasons to eliminate someone, since it’s hard to choose the best performance out of these three.

For this team, the coaches choose Taehoon.  I have to agree.  As much as I liked the modern dance performances, my favorite was Taehoon’s sensual choreography.   Now Taehoon has to choose the one to take fifty points from.  I was hoping they’d forget this part.  Taehoon chooses The Brat.  I think I must really be coming around on this guy because I think his performance was too good for him to deserve that.

Team 2 is next, starting with Hyunyeop.  Fun fact about Hyunyeop:  When I was Googling more information about the show, I found out that he’s also an independent trainee, not associated with an entertainment company.  Just like Jooan.  Which makes his history of practicing alone in those rooms sound even lonelier.  I’m so glad he and Jooan are going to make it to the final group.

Hyunyeop is dancing to “Reveal” by the Boyz, another K-pop favorite of mine.  The song has a heavy beat, and Hyunyeop’s body responds like a percussion instrument.  He becomes the beat.  

Gun Wook is next, dancing to “Say it Again” by H.E.R.  It’s high-energy precision moves you normally see from K-pop groups, set to a low, quiet, slower-paced song.  I like the contrast.  It’s hypnotic.

Aquaman steps up, dancing to “Bye Felicia” by Masego.  It’s an edgy, mysterious-sounding hip-hop song, and he flows with it like water. 

The judges love all three and spend more time in discussion than they did with the first group.  But the vote is unanimous – Gun Wook.  And he takes the fifty points from Hyunyeop, which frustrates the hell out of me, but let’s move on.  

Now for Team 3.  I love how this challenge is paced, by the way.  We’re spending plenty of time with each contestant.  I’ll be perfectly happy if this challenge takes up the entire episode and doesn’t end in something like competitive lawn darts. 

Hyung Seok is dancing to “Flower” by Johnny Stimson.  It’s a sexy, crooning song with lyrics like “Mother Nature made us to intertwine.”  He moves seductively, bringing wows from the coaches and other idols.  Afterward, the coaches say they saw some awkwardness, but overall they like it.  It’s another chance for him to move up from last place.

Now for Surfer Dude.  “How I Want Ya” by Hudson Thames is faster-paced hip-hop.  He mixes pop & lock moves with smooth slithering.  He’s having a blast.  He ends with a full-on split.  I think he’s the one I’ve had the most fun watching so far.  The big finish with the split brings a huge cheer from the other idols.  The coaches tell him that so far, he’s the only one who danced for an audience.  He danced like a real K-pop idol.  Based on their reaction, I think Surfer Dude is going to win this round.

Finally for Team 3, Jiseong is dancing to “Something Good” by Chromeo.  He begins by saying, “I’ll show you the power of a high school student.”  Wait, he’s in high school? 

The panel, who again does not seem to know anything about their own contestants, is stunned.  I’m surprised because he looks older and more confident than your average high school student.  The panel is surprised because you’re not allowed to have dyed hair in most Korean high schools.  I have to laugh at that when I think of kids from American public schools.  Jiseong would fit right in. 

He's definitely picked a joyful, youthful song,  It’s a pure pop dance beat, and he looks like he’s dancing on air.  Again, this is just so much fun to watch.  I still think Surfer Dude has him beat, though. 

The coaches have their discussion.  Hyung Seok does get one vote, but the other two are for Jiseong.  Surfer Dude didn’t get a single vote.  I am seriously blindsided by that.  As much as I was pulling for TAN man Jiseong, I was expecting Surfer Dude to win.  And he didn’t even get one vote?  One of the judges said Surfer Dude didn’t make a strong enough impression.  First of all, that’s NOT what you guys said five minutes ago, after his performance.  Secondly, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  He did a split in the end!

Surfer Dude is crushed.  I’m pissed off.  It gets worse when Jiseong takes the fifty points from him.  No one cheers or laughs it off this time.  I know Jiseong had no choice, but both Hyung Seok and Surfer Dude were already ranked at the bottom.  This is kicking someone when he’s down.  I really, REALLY hate this.  Even the panelists are upset, and I want to yell at them that it’s THEIR show.

Okay.  Deep breath.  Two more teams to go.  Except no.  The coaches are announcing the last match.  It’s The Cadet, Sunghyuk, and Ki Joong.  What happened to the team of Jooan, Jaejun, and Baby H?  Are we just going to skip them?

Ki Joong gets a laugh when he steps forward and doesn’t realize that his fly is down.  ha ha that’s hilarious what is going on here?

Everyone’s choreography on this team is fine.  I’m glaring at the coaches through the screen.  Sunghyuk wins.  Yay.  I thought The Cadet was better, but what do I know?  Apparently, I’m supposed to find it normal that one of the teams has vanished into thin air.  Sunghyuk takes fifty points from The Cadet, which makes me even madder.  Again, the panelists are bummed that he had to take points away.  Again, panelists, IT’S YOUR SHOW.

This is because I criticized your show in my last recap, isn’t it?  You lost your damn minds when I told you to cancel the last three episodes, and now we can’t have nice things.

Suddenly, everything grinds to a halt.  Ki Joong is crying.  He says it’s because he hasn’t won an individual challenge his entire time on the show.  I know that must be incredibly frustrating, but I think it’s more than that.  He’s ranked near the bottom.  He’s spent God knows how many weeks out here in the wilderness, sleeping in a tent, getting rained on constantly, watching other contestants rise through the ranks.  He must be exhausted.  Cutting him would be an act of mercy at this point.

Everyone gathers at the Tower.  The new rankings are announced.  We are told that Jaejun stole fifty points from Jooan when he won.  Why didn’t we get to see it?  This drove me so nuts, I took to Reddit and found out that I wasn’t the only confused viewer.  Turns out that when the show was airing, the clip of the battle between our missing three idols was posted as a preview clip to advertise the next episode.  If you missed the promo, like many viewers did, you were very confused when the show aired.  

I managed to track down the clip on YouTube, without English subtitles.  Jooan also dances to “7 Years” by Lukas Graham.  It’s a dramatic performance.  His expressions are mesmerizing.  That’s how he is whenever he performs.  It should have been included on the show.  Jaejun dances to “Shoot Out” by Monsta X, which makes me VERY happy, and he captures the rock energy of that song.  Baby H does very well, even though he isn’t the best dancer.  Jooan gets one vote, and Jaejun gets the other two.  Jaejun takes the fifty points from Jooan.  There is no translation for the coaches’ comments, but they seemed to love all three performances. The entire clip is less than ten minutes.  They could have squeezed it in.  Or at least mentioned during the show why it wasn’t being aired. 

Back to the Tower and the rankings, which of course are not translated for non-Korean speakers.  Based on context, it looks like Taehoon is at the Number One spot, way ahead in points.  

Now comes the episode’s final mission:  the Stage Battle.  The winning team will get a chance to perform on an MBS show similar to American Bandstand or Total Request Live.  It’s a dream stage for idol trainees. 

Only fourteen of them will get a chance to compete for this.  Someone has to get eliminated first.  It’s the one at the very bottom of the rankings, Hyung Seok.

Honestly, he looks relieved.  He’s smiling.  He knew this was coming.  I hope his next stop is a nice hotel.  Everyone hugs him goodbye.  He tears off his name tag and leaves it in the grass by the Tower.  He thanks everyone, waves goodbye, and leaves.  

In his last confessional, he says he has no regrets and that his goal is still to become a star.  I searched for information on him.  I don’t see any other projects listed for him, but he’s signed to Will Entertainment, and his Instagram page says he’s a writer.  Whatever he’s doing, I hope he’s still cancer-free and happy.

The night passes, and morning begins with the Tower again.  Our fourteen contestants, now in orange raincoats because it will be raining nonstop all day, are congratulated for making it this far.  The Tower explains the setup for the Stage Battle.  Our idols will be divided into two teams of seven.  They will have 24 hours to finalize a performance for one of two songs on the show’s soundtrack.  And now we finally show them the Tower stages.  We get day and night shots of it.  I love it.  It’s a bit cluttered looking, but exciting.  

The stage battle will be broadcast live online.  There will be two votes, one for the best group and one for the best idol.  Everyone on the winning team will get fifty points each and will perform on the TV show.

Now for the songs.  The first one is called “Answer.”  Choi Young Jun, who has choreographed for Seventeen and Monsta X, has choreographed this piece.  The second song is called “No Thanks,” which sounds like a blunt response to the name of the first song.  The choreographer for this one is Kasper, who has done choreo for SHINee and EXO.  

Now we split the idols into the two groups, and here’s where I had trouble understanding the process.  Because of course the Tower doesn’t just choose the two teams and move on.  The idols will get to choose which song they want to do.  They will choose in order from lowest rank to highest.  There’s some rule about someone getting pushed out of a group that I’m not understanding, but the idols are calling it cruel, so I’m sure I’ll be thrilled when I find out.

We see two flags set up with the song names.  When an idol chooses a song, he goes and stands in a line next to that flag.

It looks like the first several idols are choosing the song “Answer,” and now I understand the cruel part.  It’s just like when they were choosing the Teams A through D earlier.  There can only be seven people per team.  There’s going to be drama because someone is going to get pushed out when there are too many idols on one team.  This seems so easy to solve.  When it’s your turn to choose and one team is full, go to the other team. 

Also, imagine you wrote the song “No Thanks” and saw that none of the contestants wanted to perform it.  But eventually, the No Thanks line does fill up, with just Taehoon left to choose his team.  There’s one more spot left on the Answer team, and no more room on the No Thanks team, and now I suddenly understand why Taehoon isn’t just going to take the last available spot.  He wants to win, and all the low-ranked idols chose the song “Answer.”  He wants to be on the No Thanks team with the top-ranked idols, most of whom are future TAN members.  

The Brat and Gun Wook are the only non-TAN members on Team No Thanks, and I’m hoping Taehoon sends one of them over to the Answer team.  But no, he kicks out his own future bandmate, Sunghyuk, who does not take it very well.  He’s really upset, like Taehoon has just insulted his family name and burned down his house.  The Christopher Nolan BWWWWAP on the soundtrack doesn’t help matters.  I do get why he’s not taking it well.  He was the first one to choose the No Thanks line and start drawing the high-ranked idols to that side, and now he’s the one who has to go to the low-ranked idols side, and THIS SHOW IS JUST MEAN.

This goes on for a while.  Sunghyuk is really upset.  He says his head hurts.  Dude, just go to the other team and plot your revenge.  We Americans could teach you a thing or two about that.  

Once Team Answer has medicated Sunghyuk and wrestled the dagger out of his hands, the Tower goes back to explaining the rules.  Each team must choose a Main Vocalist, a Main Rapper, and the Center.  The Center is the visual point person who usually appears in the middle of the group during performances and photo and video shoots.  And yes, that is the name of an actual job title in a K-pop group.  Hyungwon is the Center for Monsta X.  Jungkook is the Center for BTS.  I could write a whole manual on the different positions in K-pop groups, so for now, let’s move on.

The teams are ordered to go practice the choreo.  Our teams are:

Answer:  Hyunyeop, Surfer Dude, The Cadet, Baby H, Ki Joong, Aquaman, and Sunghyuk the Inconsolable.

No Thanks:  Most of TAN.  Jooan, Taehoon, Jaejun, Changsun, Jiseong, The Brat, and Gun Wook.

Right away, Team Answer is arguing over who gets to be the Second Sub-Vocalist.  Yes, that is also a K-pop group position.  Then there’s an argument over who gets to be the Center, so Surfer Dude and Ko Joong have a dance battle for it.  Ki Joong wins.  Now I’m worried that Surfer Dude might need meds.  He has lost every single battle over the past several episodes, and now he’s lost the Center position.  Somebody call Hyung Seok and see if his cab has already left for the airport.  Maybe he can swing by and pick up one more.

We move to the No Thanks team.  It’s a given that Jooan will be the Main Vocalist.  However, three people want to be the Main Rapper, and of course, one of them is The Brat.  Jooan suggests a rap battle.  Jiseong wins. 

The Brat then channels his frustration into the fight to be the Center.  No fewer than six idols participate in a dance battle for the Center position.  Jooan and Gun Wook have to decide the winner.  It’s a tie between Jaejun and Changsun.  They decide that Changsun will be the Main Center, and Jaejun will be the Center during the dance break.  I love this team.  

Back to Team Answer, as they start practicing the choreo, which is very difficult to learn.  They’re kind of all over the place.  Finally, Surfer Dude says they need a Leader.  (Leader is also a K-pop position, and so is Maknae, which is the youngest member.  Being the youngest member of a group is an actual official position.)  Anyway, they can’t choose a Leader because they can’t stop fighting.

Finally, Choreographer Choi Young Jun shows up.  They show clips of him dancing, and he’s brilliant.  It’s like his whole body is double-jointed.  I can see why Monsta X worked with him.

The Answer Team tries to show him their progress so far, and he is understandably taken aback.  As he works with them, they start to get more frustrated, and it’s just not coming together.  Ki Joong is not doing well as the Center.  Mr. Choi tries changing the choreo for him, but that’s not working either.

Night falls.  These guys have been rehearsing for hours, and they’re still not getting it.  Ki Joong hasn’t even learned the lyrics.  

Back to Team No Thanks.  Changsun is their leader.  Things are running smoothly.  Choreographer Kasper stops by.  They run through the dance, and they are so good.  They’re moving as one, completely in sync.  They still need more practice, but they are miles ahead of Team Answer. 

Kasper is pleasantly surprised.  He starts helping them with their formation.  When he demonstrates a move, they immediately copy it.  They are focused and enthusiastic.  This is most of the group that will become TAN, and I already see it.  Jaejun is killing it as the Dance Center.  The panelists are excited as they watch them improve with every round of practice.

They finally get back to their tents, but both teams can’t sleep.  Instead, they are outside in the dark, rainy weather, still practicing.  Team No Thanks finally gives in to exhaustion and crawls into their tents while Team Answer keeps practicing as long as they can stay awake.

Cut to the next day.  It’s Stage Battle Day.  Everyone is sound asleep in their tents.  Suddenly, the pounding drums play from the Tower.  Jooan instinctively runs out of his tent and heads for the Tower at top speed.  When he gets there, he finds one gold flag.  Come on, really?  I thought we were done with this!  

Jooan grabs the flag and is named Winner of the Wake-Up Mission and gets twenty bonus points, because this show is making it clear where they want me to shove my show improvement suggestions. 

The rest of the idols have now arrived, and the Tower tells them that with the next challenge, snacks are on the line.  Look, can we just give everyone a pack of Hi-Chews and get to the stage already?   Nope, the Tower tells them they will have a 7 on 7 … um … cockfight.  I swear that’s what the translation says.  The team with the last man standing after the cockfight will be the winner.  (In America, cockfighting is a highly illegal sport where gamblers make chickens fight to the death, so I am very concerned right now.)

Okay, I did some Googling, at the risk of triggering the police with my search history, and in Korea, cockfighting is a children’s game in which players hop on one leg and try to knock each other over.  So no one is going to prison today, and the winning team will get snacks.  

Yes, this is how we’re running down the clock in this episode.  Not with something exciting, like a tour of the stages, or a soundcheck, or the ten minutes of footage of Jooan, Jaejun and Baby H in the dance battle from earlier.  No, this is DEFINITELY more important.  Two teams jumping up and down, knocking each other over.

Team No Thanks wins the snacks.  Jooan, who knocked most of the other team down singlehandedly, is crazy with joy.  The panelists are saying they’ve never seen such a big smile on his face.  I say it’s because he’s manic from lack of sleep.  Whatever the reason, they get their snacks, WHICH ARE CHICKEN-FLAVORED.  

Honestly, the episode should just end on that perfect note.  But there’s one more item from my previous recap that the show has not addressed.  We get one more look at the stages, and we’re told that the Tower has been moved to the new location.  Yes, it is one Tower that they move around.  In this shot, I have my answer.  The Tower is mostly scaffolding. 

 

Good.  Send it to me.  I’m not kidding.  The next time my upstairs neighbors start blasting music while I’m trying to write, I will switch on that Tower with that deep voice and the LED screens and scare the living hell out of them.  I will OWN this neighborhood.

Three more episodes to go, folks ….  

Episode 11:  Baby, I’m a Star.

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